Singing, the Fat Lady Is (My Last Post)

Attention first-time visitors to my blog: Kind of sappy, this final post it. Perhaps enjoy the posts in the archive or under "Master Yoda's Greatest Hits", you would. ----------- Today, meditating about Obi-wan's situation I was. Contemplating I was the years that known him I have. When he was a youngling and showed up at the temple, I remember. Like yesterday it was. There he was, in his stained little wrestling costume, his nose picking. Wait, yesterday that was. Anyway, in my comfy chair I sat, and some of my Dolly Parton CD's I got out. But, all over my CD's, Cheetos smudges were! "Obi-wan!" I yelled, "In here get!" Into the living room he came. "Look, if this is about them Dolly Parton CD's, I can explain..." "Closer, come." "Now, hold on..." "Closer! Down here, lean! Now!" "Oh, alright, just make it quick." Around him, I put my arms. "AAAAAAH!" he yelled, "What you doin'?!" "Hugging you I am." "Why? Are you dyin'?" "No." "Am I dyin'?" "No, dying no one is. What family does, this is." Just then, in Windu ran, "What the heck is goin' on in here?" "Hugging we are." "Why? Who's dying?" "Dying, no one is. Come, hug you too, we will." "Well, in that case, I am all into that!" Then, in Young Skywalker came. "Yo, who's dyin'?" "Join us, Young Skywalker. Hugging, we are." "Ah, no. I ain't doin' that. You geezers is all messed up now, yo." "Get over here, Anakin," Obi-wan said, "If I gotta do this, so do you!" So a group hug, we had. "We ain't goin' to be doin' this real regular, is we?" Obi-wan said. "No. Just something I needed to do it was." Playfully I smacked him, "Doofus." Later, meditating I was. A flash forward to the future, I had. Sometimes, the future, the Force can show you. Sometimes, full of crap, the Force is. Understand what I saw, I did not. But somehow, that alright we would be, I knew. Like to see what I have seen, would you? Then closer you must come. No, closer you must come. Closer! AAAAAAAAH! Too close that is! Trying to give me a heart attack are you? Much better that is. Now, what I have seen, you will see. The voices I have heard you will hear. The smells I have smelled, you will smell. Not that one, though. The burrito I had for lunch that was. Shh! The future: "Why do I have to carry you to all of your errands? What's this got to do with becoming a Jedi?" "Quiet! A long way to the post office, it is. As big a whiner as your old man, you are. The pace pick up, or another 'present' in your designer backpack I will leave!" Hmm, understand it all, I do not. But, more I see. "Hmm, more snake stew I have cooked. Disgusting it is. Make Young Skywalker eat it, I will. Fun that will be. Sneak off to the Taco Bell around the corner later, I will. A good thing it is that know about the Taco Bell, he does not." "Hee hee! Been kissing your sister you have. Hee hee!" "Shut up! I told you, I didn't know she was my sister!" "Hee hee! Yes, sure. Messed up, you are. Hee hee hee hee!" "Hmm, yes. Impressive that is, Young Skywalker. Now, take all of the change that fell out of your pockets, I will. Maybe learn not to fall for this trick next time, you will." "That boy is our last hope..." "AAAAAAH! Kenobi! Told you before not to just appear out of nowhere like that, I have! A clean pair of shorts I need now!" Wait! Even farther I can see... "A'ight, yo. Who farted?" "The feller, the smeller is, Young Skywalker." "I can't believe you guys! Being one with the Force hasn't improved your manners at all!" "Ha ha! It ain't me, Yo!" "Lie do not, see through you I can, quite literally! Hee hee!" "Fuh real, though, I think it was Obs." "It weren't me. Hey, I recognize that smell." "Yes, too I recognize it. But impossible that is..." "Bob? One with the Force you are? What the - ?" THE END