Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Telethon

As read you have, very bad news about Obi-wan, I received yesterday. It turns out, Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disorder he has. No cure for him there is. Be Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disordered for the rest of his life, he will be.

The signs I should have seen earlier. All those times that explain Beetle Bailey to him, I had to - tipped me off, that should have. The fact that trouble he has following the plot in Ernest Goes to Camp, a clue that was. So blind I have been!

Ever since hearing the news, high my blood pressure has been. Been able to eat, I have not been. Slept well I have not. All night researching Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disorder on the Internet, I have been. Out it turns that this disorder many famous people have:

Do something to raise awareness I had to. So a telethon I held today. To help, many celebrities turned out. Very common in Hollywood, Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disorder is.

Maybe the telethon you saw? If not, below some highlights are:

Jerry Lewis: Hi folks and welcome to the Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disorder Telethon. You know, this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. I know that a lot of you out there who have enjoyed my movies suffer from this horrible disease. In fact, they've done studies on this. And those studies show that most people who think my old movies were funny are either Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disordered or French, which is almost the same thing.
We have some very special people manning the phones today. Three members of the Jedi Order are with us, Master Yoda, Master Mace Windu, and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. Let's listen in.

Master Yoda: No, the fanny pack you get only if 100 credits or more you pledge... Yes, a lot for a fanny pack that is, but... Look! If a good deal on a fanny pack you want, to Wal-Mart you should go! For charity this is! Hmph!

Master Windu: No, I can't make sure they keep Masterpiece Theater on the air. Are you sure you're calling the right place?

Jerry Lewis: Way in the back there is Anakin Skywalker, otherwise known as the Chosen One. He looks like he's working pretty hard, too. Let's say 'Hi'. How are you doing back there, young man?

Anakin: [Into phone] Yo, baby, wassup? Ah, you know I miss you, girl! You my fly-girl, you know that!... Yeah, me too... Yo, baby, don't make me say that here! They's people around and spit! You know how I feel, I ain't gotta say it here, do I?... Oh, all right, [mumbling] I love you. There... what you mean you ain't heard me? Again? Ok, I love you... Aw, come on! I said, I LOVE YOU! You happy now?... Aw now, wait, baby. I ain't mean to yell at you like that. You know I ain't mean it that way...

Jerry Lewis: Ahem.

Anakin: [Into phone] Yo, hang on. The geezer's callin' me or sumthin. [To Jerry] Yo, wassup.

Jerry Lewis: It looks like you're working pretty hard back there, young man.

Anakin: Yeah, well, you know. Anything for Obs. He my dawg, yo.

Doing this for Obi-wan, we all were. Still feel like it is enough, I do not.


Comments on "The Telethon"


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (7:46 AM) : 

Wow, that's great that all the celeberties got together like that. I guess it's just like the old saying goes: Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disordered is as Severely Traumatic Underdeveloped Primary Intelligence Disordered does.


Blogger Shannon said ... (8:03 AM) : 

{Sigh.} Well I suppose I could donate some of my old clothes to this charity.


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (9:13 AM) : 

It gives me a really special feeling right in the pit of my stomach to see so much warmth and charity. It's either that or the three day old burritto I had for breakfast.


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:10 AM) : 

Oh wow, it is shame that I can't get to a phone right now, or I would offer a few credits. It is tax deducatble, right?

And you can keep the fanny pack. I already have plenty of pockets in my flight suit. Besides, wearing that thing around makes me look like a Tourist from Tatooine.


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (1:02 PM) : 

Is it contagious?


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:46 PM) : 

Jean-Luc :

Look at the celebs, helping out and I think your question will be answered.

The sad thing is that it can strike in any family.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:00 PM) : 

I guess you would know Jaba....How's the clan at the trailer park?


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:19 AM) : 

Just don't breathe the same air they breathe. And you will be fine.


Blogger eda said ... (4:05 AM) : 





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