Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Prophecy About the Chosen One

Examining the Jedi Code for prophecies about the Chosen One, I was today. This passage I found:

Jediviticus 18:1-19 -
"And in those days, there shall arriveth a Chosen One. Balance to the Force that one will bringeth forth. And much annoyance he shall causeth everyone, for he will whineth in abundance to any unfortunate soul who happeneth to be near.

And he shall practiceth every manner of Wiggery. Though rhythm he will lacketh, he shall rappeth as if talent he possesseth. Speaketh in the manner of a Snoopish Dog he will tryeth, but only in sounding like one of the senseless ones, will he succeedeth.

Yea, to his master he will not listeneth, nor to his tailor will he give heed. For he shall dresseth in only black garments, just as a nerd who attendeth a Goth convention would attireth himself.

And a noble one he shall marryeth, though maketh any sense that union will not. As a small boy he will meeteth her, and as one in her teenage years, she will be. Yet, when they hath groweth up and marryeth, somehow around the same age they will looketh.

And his master will be as one who loveth cheese-flavored snacks. Yea, the cheese-flavored snacks that cruncheth as one eateth them he will pineth for, and the cheese-flavored snacks that puffeth, and the cheese-flavored snacks that twisteth. For all the cheese-flavored snacks he will pineth, the way a gluttonous pig pineth for slop. As a foolish one covered in orange dust, will the master of the Chosen One be.

And in those days when the Chosen One arriveth, plot holes shall be abundant. Many will cryeth out, "Oh, how my soul longeth for the days of A New Hope, when the Empire Shall Striketh Back, and the Jedi Shall Returneth!" Yea, for in those days, a Phantom Menace there will be, Clones Will Attacketh, and Revenge the Sith Will Haveth. But mightily it will sucketh. And the Chosen One shall be called upon to acteth at that time. But like wood, his performance will be. Like one who doth not possesseth talent, his acting will be, but on poor dialogue and bad direction most will blameth it."

Have to be so vague, why do these verses? Apply to anyone, that can! Keep researching I must.

**** His 100th post, JawaJuice just posted! Fully illustrated his latest post is! Check it out you should.

Comments on "Prophecy About the Chosen One"

 

Blogger Nic said ... (2:54 PM) : 

ROFL!!! I am cracking up over here. Man, that prophecy about the Chosen One is right on. Absolutely amazing how they do it.

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (2:58 PM) : 

I just read in the Book of Lucas a scary passage:

And lo, a light bulb went of above my head and the future opened before me. And the light did say “bring forth the Ewok, Gungans and other faux cute creatures to market at the King of Burgers and the Donald’s of the Mc. In this way Jar-Jarmageddon will come”

Scary…what can it mean oh wise one.

 

Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said ... (3:33 PM) : 

*Snort* Funny!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (3:37 PM) : 

A good verse you found, AOC!

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:47 PM) : 

"Plot holes shall be abundant"...great!

My 200th post will be on Tuesday 6pm English time with an Enterprise party with all my bloglist mentioned.

 

Blogger Vampirella said ... (4:18 PM) : 

rofl.... that is just perfect....

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (4:33 PM) : 

Capt Picard,

Look forward to that, I shall!

 

Blogger Jabafatboy said ... (6:54 PM) : 

I'm of the opinon that you are going completely nuts !

But it couldnt be any funnier if ya tried !

I love it

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (8:04 PM) : 

I'm sure that any similarities to Anakin are purely coincidental.

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:16 AM) : 

Some of this makes sense to me, but some of it is still a mystery. Did you know that Luke has been looking for a copy of that book for many years? He said he found one in motel he was staying at, but he wouldn't let anyone else read it.

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (10:48 AM) : 

And this horrifying and little known passage has just surfaced…

The Lost Gospel According to Windu
Let all bask in my glory that is mine head for it shall be the beacon that shines unto thee and thou shalt see my approachith for miles for the shine will be so bright. My very skullith shalt gleam like a star and be an example of good skin care to all who behold it. And I shalt lead the way for all who covet my prettiness.

It then went on to list how one should follow in his hygienic ways:

…moisturizer shall begat exfoliation. Exfoliation shall begat hair tweezing. Hair tweezing shall begat apricot scrub. Apricot Scrub shall begat skull buffing with turtle wax…. Etc etc…
This went on for a very long time.




(And thanks for the shout out. That was real nice of you!)

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (11:04 AM) : 

Jawajuice,

I think apocryphal that Gospel of Windu is.

(Good that verse is, though!)

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:38 PM) : 

Update:

My party is this weekend!

You are invited to my 200th post party over the weekend in which all members on my Bloglist Guest Quarters will be mentioned.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (11:24 PM) : 

Forward to it I look!

 

Blogger Barriss Offee said ... (11:56 PM) : 

Lucky for everyone this prophecy isn't about me..but it does make me wonder to whom it's really about.

 

Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (10:22 AM) : 

Master Yoda that prophecy speaks about a new hope, empire strikes back, return of the jedi, phantom menace, attack of the clones, and revgenge of the sith .... but FORGOT clone wars! those comics were really good...

BTW Does Jediviticus mentions anything about a green tiny creature?

 

Blogger Shannon said ... (12:13 PM) : 

Hmmm... A few things about this prophecy sound vaguely familiar to me.

 

Blogger Brian Sorgatz said ... (10:43 PM) : 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Anonymous padawan Tanya said ... (3:35 AM) : 

You know, I think I know somebody who fits this description.

 

Anonymous padawan Tanya said ... (7:01 AM) : 

I'll figure it out. Ooh... maybe I should check in the archives.

 

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