Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Lightsaber Madness

So angry I am. A new lightsaber I needed because broken my old one was. But want a standard lightsaber I did not. One of those special lightsabers that can rotate in the middle of the handle I wanted. Called a "swinging" lightsaber it is. So a swinging lightsaber I ordered. But a singing lightsaber they sent me!

More annoying than one of those singing fish on a plaque, it is! It's choice of songs, the most annoying thing about it is. Mostly show tunes and Barry Manilow songs it sings! A few other songs it knows, but no better they are. Command how much respect from a Sith Lord can you when in the middle of a battle "Feelings" your lightsaber starts singing?!

Going to send it back and get a new one was, but suddenly had to go to Dantooine I had to. Launching a major invasion there, the Separatists forces were. So to Dantooine I got. Ready to throw down, I was. Going to kick major Separatist butt, I was. Into the Separatist camp with my clone troops I went. Suddenly, confronted by Dooku I was! Now my chance was! Finally able to smite down Dooku, I would be. There too, General Grievous was! Now able to kill two doofuses with one stone, I would be!

But first, going to settle things man-to-doofus, Dooku and I were. Ready for a lightsaber duel, we got. Around us to watch, all the troops and droids gathered. His lightsaber, Dooku drew. My lightsaber I drew. On I turned it. At me he charged. My lightsaber I swung, and then...

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay! And I pity any girl who isn't me today!..."

To the ground laughing, Dooku fell. Then laughing, Grievous started. Even laughing at me, their droids were! Laughing behind me I heard. Around to look at the clone troopers I looked. Quiet they were, but holding their hands over their mouths, they were. Then suddenly, laughing again they bursted out.

Leave in disgrace I had to. So humiliating that was! I think deliver my lightsaber back to the manufacturer in person I will. Demonstrate how it works on their heads, I might! Hmph!


Comments on "Lightsaber Madness"


Blogger Nic said ... (3:11 PM) : 

Oh my! Dear Master Yoda you sure have had a tough time of it the past couple of days haven't you? I'm wishing you a Wookie sized carton of B&J Chunky Monkey with an impenetrable alarm system that only recognizes you so you can eat to your heart's content and not have to share. Some days we all need that. :)


Blogger Private Hudson said ... (4:25 PM) : 

A singing lightsaber! Cool!

I'll buy it from ya, I've got 8.50, a paper clip, a stick of gum (unused), and a button that fell off my cammies when I was danci- er, shooting bugs.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:44 PM) : 

hmmm I thought thetrue mark of a master (when his trainging is complete) is when he can make his lightsabre



Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7:46 PM) : 

I believe you have seen the light my friend !!

Ya could always wear a tootoo and kill em with laughter


Blogger JawaJuice said ... (9:01 PM) : 

Wait! But they were on the ground, rolling with laughter!
That’s the perfect time to smite them.

But you walked away?


Blogger Barriss Offee said ... (3:17 AM) : 

Vampi, that's what he saids but does the he do as he tells other to!? This post alone proves that he does not!


Blogger Vegeta said ... (3:23 AM) : 

Sory master Yoda but Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (7:23 AM) : 

A singing lightsaber, huh. Looks like the one situation a good old force-wedgie can't get you out of.


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (8:08 AM) : 

Young Offee,

As I say, do. As I do, do not.


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:25 AM) : 

Well, Mr. Yoda, this is what happens when you order stuff on-line. Now you can't return it because you have used it. Well, I guess you did really use it did you?

Say, can you play "Misty" for me? smirk


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (12:10 PM) : 

Master Yoda, we were not laughing at you, we were laughing with you. Plus it looked like Count Dukoo peed a little when he was laughing so hard. Now that was funny. And by the way the your lightsaber was right you do look pretty today. *stiffle laugh*


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