Lightsaber Madness

So angry I am. A new lightsaber I needed because broken my old one was. But want a standard lightsaber I did not. One of those special lightsabers that can rotate in the middle of the handle I wanted. Called a "swinging" lightsaber it is. So a swinging lightsaber I ordered. But a singing lightsaber they sent me! More annoying than one of those singing fish on a plaque, it is! It's choice of songs, the most annoying thing about it is. Mostly show tunes and Barry Manilow songs it sings! A few other songs it knows, but no better they are. Command how much respect from a Sith Lord can you when in the middle of a battle "Feelings" your lightsaber starts singing?! Going to send it back and get a new one was, but suddenly had to go to Dantooine I had to. Launching a major invasion there, the Separatists forces were. So to Dantooine I got. Ready to throw down, I was. Going to kick major Separatist butt, I was. Into the Separatist camp with my clone troops I went. Suddenly, confronted by Dooku I was! Now my chance was! Finally able to smite down Dooku, I would be. There too, General Grievous was! Now able to kill two doofuses with one stone, I would be! But first, going to settle things man-to-doofus, Dooku and I were. Ready for a lightsaber duel, we got. Around us to watch, all the troops and droids gathered. His lightsaber, Dooku drew. My lightsaber I drew. On I turned it. At me he charged. My lightsaber I swung, and then... "I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay! And I pity any girl who isn't me today!..." To the ground laughing, Dooku fell. Then laughing, Grievous started. Even laughing at me, their droids were! Laughing behind me I heard. Around to look at the clone troopers I looked. Quiet they were, but holding their hands over their mouths, they were. Then suddenly, laughing again they bursted out. Leave in disgrace I had to. So humiliating that was! I think deliver my lightsaber back to the manufacturer in person I will. Demonstrate how it works on their heads, I might! Hmph! .