Thursday, June 23, 2005

Lost It Kenobi Has

Worried about Kenobi I am. Taking the fake TV wrestling too seriously, he is. Started wearing wrestling tights, he has. Now around the temple in his colorful tights, hooded mask, and cape he walks. On being called "The Kenobinator" he insists. Better than the first name he thought of, "Captain Cheeto", it is.

Other rejected wrestling names for Kenobi:
Captain Poo-poo Head (This one, Windu suggested)
Commander Obi-Licious
Obi-ONE HAND (What this means, I know not)
Obi-Wan the Bearded Bomb
Bubba the Barbarian
Brain Dead Ben (My idea, this was)
Benny Beer Belly
Count Von Kickenbutt (Just stupider it got, after this one)

Gotten out of hand, it has. The other day, Windu suggested that fake, TV wrestling might be. Really mad, Kenobi got. In something called a "Sleeper Hold", he put Windu. "Feel fake, this does?!" he yelled. Finally, take it back, Windu did, right before passing out.

Now, "smack" Kenobi talks all the time. Very loud he is, too. Just this morning, this he yelled at me:
"You think you're tough, little man?! You think you got what it takes to beat me?! Well, you ain't, man!! You ain't got what it takes to beat my Grandma! Do you hear me, boy?! When I get through with you, you're gonna go cryin' home to your Mama!! That's right, man!! I... AM GOING... TO TAKE... YOU... DOWWWWWWN!!!!!!!!"

Why the need to use a microphone he felt, I know not.

Afraid to walk through the front door I am. Know I do not, if off a bookcase Kenobi is about to jump and to the ground, pin me. I wish that use the living room as his own personal "death match cage" he would not. Broken several lamps, he has.

Lost it, he has.

Comments on "Lost It Kenobi Has"

 

Anonymous hc_godess said ... (12:07 AM) : 

If he jumps on you from a bookcase, just use the same Force move you used in that fight w/ Dooku and throw him into a wall.

Maybe it will knock some sense into him for some bonus points.

 

Blogger Geewhiz said ... (1:03 AM) : 

Maybe. Or, why don't you walk around for a day in tights...perhaps seeing a small, grey Jedi Master wearing the same outfit as him wound get him to stop?

I do it all the time. Unfortunately, doing it too often got me into the habit of cross-dressing, because let's just say the people I mimicked were not of the masculin gender.
Whoops.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:35 AM) : 

geewhiz- yoda's green. interesting idea, though.
yoda- whoops... i hope Kenobi finds what he "lost"...

 

Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (9:20 AM) : 

Yoda, you could kick Obi-Wan's, I'm sorry, the Kenobinator's butt.

I still say you disown him.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:21 AM) : 

Any chance you could talk him into joining the "Free Katie" movement? This would do a double service....possibly help that girl escape, and get him out of the house for a while so you'll have a little peace and quiet! (Except, of course, for Mace Windu!)

 

Blogger Norton said ... (10:23 AM) : 

Obi Wan in tights?
Scary thought.

 

Anonymous bellringr said ... (10:48 AM) : 

Scary? I'd say it has its appeal... ;)

Sounds to me like he's going through a midlife crisis a little early. Maybe Padmé could hook him up with one of her friends and get him straightened out. :D

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:48 AM) : 

Poor little young skywalker, alone without a master, well, maybe it´s time for windu to teach him the "softer and gentler" side of the force.
By the way, Master Yoda, do you know how are the Sith apprentices called? Are they also called Padawans?

 

Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said ... (11:06 AM) : 

Okay, Master, I seriously think that Benji needs some intervention.
You should go to the bottom of his closet and get out the old "Hulkster" leotard (I know that it is still there, he's had it since he was a Padawan, and he still thinks that washing it is unlucky), suggestibly use the Force to grab it (and possibly a nice comfy Haz-Mat suit) and rub it in his face. That's a bad, bad Ben! Yes, you was!
Or, you can call over Sumo the Hutt to teach him a lesson in pain! Do it this Sunday Sunday Sunday!
I know what the Rock is cookin' and it sure don't smell like brownies.
QGJ

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (11:26 AM) : 

POST RESCUE PARTY AT MY BLOG! ...eh..I mean house.
That is, when you guys get off Tatooine.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:57 AM) : 

I agree with Bellringr. This is waht happens when a bunch of men are cooped up with each other. Plus, you are not allowed to "get close" to members of the opposite sex! It would not suprize me if more Jedi turned out to be a little 'different'.

Get him some tickets to the pod races and tractor pulls. He can take Anakin and Mace. Give him a big bag of Cheetos when he leaves, and that should calm him down for a couple of days.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:08 PM) : 

If he starts wrestling women on Saturday Night Live, then you really need to start worrying.

 

Blogger ninjanun said ... (1:33 PM) : 

Any man who talks smack into a microphone at his elders (and superiors) while wearing tights is probably compensating for something.

Daddy issues, Obi Wan has?

 

Blogger j00|{z said ... (2:16 PM) : 

I just can't imagine Obi-Wan yelling and screaming like that.

Yoda, you need to do something about the TV.

 

Blogger Aayla Secura said ... (2:32 PM) : 

I find that scary.

 

Anonymous Anakin said ... (3:29 PM) : 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (3:56 PM) : 

Please, family-friendly your comments keep.

Thanks you!

 

Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said ... (6:25 PM) : 

" Maybe Padmé could hook him up with one of her friends and get him straightened out. :D"

No no im fine don't need hooking up with anyone. Don't like being hooked up anyway, they used to do it to me when I was a padawan, I'd wait for ages for someone to come and get me off the peg.

 

Blogger Guinastasia said ... (7:58 PM) : 

Master Yoda, maybe Obi-Wan needs to be evaluated. It sounds like he's hyperactive and needs to be on Ritalin or something.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:05 PM) : 

guinastasia,

The night Tom Cruise came over, all of the Ritalin and medication in the temple he took and down the toilet flushed them, before stop him we could. He kept yelling, "Crazy you are? Know what do to you these chemicals can, do you? All you need, vitamins are!"

Maybe the problem, that is. Taken his Ritalin he has not. That, and a while it has been since put him on the hooks, we have.

 

Anonymous hc_godess said ... (12:27 AM) : 

I like the idea of hanging him on the hooks until he can take his Ritalin. You might have to wait a month or so to refill them - pharmacies are really picky about stuff like that.

You should make Mr. Cruise pay for Obi's refills.

 

Blogger Guinastasia said ... (11:00 AM) : 

Oooh, yes, make Cruise pay for all of the meds he flushed. That stuff is expensive, and Cruise can certainly afford it!

I bet it'd be pretty easy to mind-whammy him so he'd do it, considering that he's already been brain-washed by the clams.

 

Blogger Han Solo said ... (8:38 AM) : 

Wait, wait, wait. Obi Wan is The Kenobinator? THE Kenobinator?

Do you think he'd give me his autograph?

 

Blogger Raptor Lewis said ... (10:57 AM) : 

Just Tranquilize him.

 

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