Tuesday, June 21, 2005

More Wisdom for the Ages

Just read Senator Amidala's post, I have. "Ant eating"? Ant eating I was not. An ardvaark I am not! Antiquing I was. Getting rediculous ridiculous this is! Listen to me anymore no one does. Also, take her opinions seriously you should not. From MTV, all her news she gets.

Anyway, compiled more of my wisdom for you, I have. Very fortunate you are. For this, I charge most people. Very good to you, I am.

So, here it is:

More Gems of Yoda's Wisdom
- Yes, like a giant booger with a face on it, Jabba the Hutt looks. But tell him that do not!
- Leave a trail of bread crumbs near your clothes dryer, you should. That way, get lost, your socks will not.
- Spayed or neutered, have your Wookie.
- The only good spider, a dead spider is.
- Finding Waldo, a proper use of the Force is not.
- Never look a gift bantha in the mouth - like to spit, they do.
- Size matters not, but learn what mine is, you should, before clothes you buy me.
- Hold up as a defense in court, "Stupid is as stupid does" will not. Trust me, tried this on more than one occasion Kenobi has.
- Beware of strangers bearing Jesus Juice, you should.
- Play "Spin the Lightsaber" with Jar Jar Binks you should not, no matter how lonely you may be.

No doubt, much wiser you feel now. Welcome, you are.

Comments on "More Wisdom for the Ages"

 

Blogger Luke Harbor said ... (8:51 AM) : 

thank you for the wisdom yoda

 

Blogger Jar Jar Binks said ... (9:30 AM) : 

Yousa hurt mesa feelingsa yodasa! Yousa gonnasa paysa big timesa!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (9:45 AM) : 

Jar Jar,

Be so bad, playing "Spin the Lightsaber" with you would not, if use your tongue, you would not.

(Or, so told I am. Have personal knowledge of this, I do not.)

 

Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (10:08 AM) : 

Wow.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:20 AM) : 

Extremely useful hints, Master Yoda! Especially the one about finding missing socks; never thought of that! Which, of course, is why you are the Master and we are the students. :-)

 

Blogger Geewhiz said ... (11:23 AM) : 

Yoda, your wisdom is infallible, stretches across the ages and stands the test of time.

 

Anonymous Count Dooku said ... (11:52 AM) : 

Age has diminished your ability to use the force dictionary, my little green friend! It's RIDICULOUS, not REDICULOUS.

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (12:33 PM) : 

actually...
REDICULOUS (re'dis-YOU-loss) adj.
1. The state someone aquires when they are correcting or being corrected one too many times. 2. Red in the face. 3. A great dessert topping. 4.(vul. slang-dagobah)Getting monkey-nerves!

 

Blogger John said ... (12:54 PM) : 

I thought it just meant "to diculous again." As in, "this has lost some of it's original diculous. We need to rediculous it."

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:04 PM) : 

Count Dooku,

When 900 years old you reach, spell as well as I do, you will not.

 

Blogger Guinastasia said ... (1:56 PM) : 

Oooh, how was the antiquing, Master Yoda? Find anything interesting? (I love antiques!)

 

Blogger j00|{z said ... (4:32 PM) : 

What ever did Obi-Wan have to go to court for?

 

Blogger flu said ... (5:18 PM) : 

Jeeeesh! I wish youd'a let me in on one of these before I went to Jabba's place...

 

Blogger Padmé said ... (5:44 PM) : 

Like, what's antiquing? Is that where you pick up antiques? You should be careful, Master Yoda, incase someone picks you up by mistake!

 

Blogger Holy Mother Eph said ... (6:02 PM) : 

I played "Spin the Lightsaber" once and had to kiss Walrus Man. It was like literally kissing someone's butt. I think he had a crush on me. It really sucked. If you don't remember who Walrus Man is, here's a nice photo:

http://www.toysrgus.com/images-art/walrusman-art.html

 

Blogger Dago said ... (2:59 PM) : 

About spin the lightsaber, do I agree. Very gross that would be. Need a harness too, Jar Jar does.

Dago

 

Blogger Ruby-Flame said ... (2:51 PM) : 

"Spin the lightsaber with Jar Jar." Now that is a classic!

 

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