Saturday, June 11, 2005

Ask Yoda

More of my wisdom, share with you I will.

Actual Emails:

Word on the street is that you sing Michael Bolton tunes in the Jedi Temple?

Strictly against the Jedi Code, singing, humming, and/or playing Michael Bolton is. In immediate expulsion from the Jedi Order it results. The Dark Side, "Darth Screechy Voice" is.

Another Email...

Having such small body mass, does it only take one or two beers to put you away?
-Eric C.

Hold my liquor I can! More than two beers it takes. A wussie I am not. Unfortunately, though, small my bladder is. Make many trips to the little Padawan's room I must, before even buzzed I get.

From Your Comments:

Byron Bay Jedi -
1) Miss Piggy have you ever met?

Answer: Run in the same circles, Miss Piggy and I do not. However, if not mistaken I am, a mutual acquaintance we have.

2) Concerned about Australia I am. A Sith Lord their Prime Minister appaears to be. Your opinion on this i would be interested to hear.

Answer: Familiar with the politics on Planet Australia I am not. In which system is that? Near Tattoine that is?

Wookie Hobbit- Is cheese healthy for Chewbacca?

Answer: No. The "runs" it gives him. Want to deal with that, you do not! ... Perhaps shared too much I have.

Robin- Why do Jedi padawans have those brush cuts with the little braids hanging down?

Answer: Because know how to cut a Mullet, the Jedi barber does not.

If questions for Yoda you have, email him at or leave them in the comments, you can. Use your email or comment I may not. If your email I use, edit it, I may. Guarantee that reply to every email I will, I can not. And please, family-friendly your comments keep!

Comments on "Ask Yoda"


Anonymous Yoda Forever said ... (2:55 AM) : 

Do you know Kermit?


Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said ... (3:28 AM) : 

I belive Australia is near the Outer Rim Territories though I am not 100% sure. Geography is not my best subject always loseing a planet here and there. Australia being near the outer rim would explain the sith lord taking over. I shall look into this more and visit when my Padawan returns.


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (9:49 AM) : 

Are you saying Darth Vader commited the supreme sin of singing a Michael Bolton song? Little wonder the Dark Side, he is on.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (10:34 AM) : 

Yoda the wise, Yoda the all-powerful, Yoda the magnificent, my original remains unanswered. If The Six Million Dollar Man were created today, would he be better because of the increase in technology and standardization of parts, or would he be worse because $6 million doesn't get you as far today as it did in the seventies?


Anonymous hc_godess said ... (10:56 AM) : 

I think it's a good thing that the Jedi barber doesn't know how to cut a mullet. You run the Jedi temple, Yoda, not a trailer park.


Blogger Nic said ... (11:24 AM) : 

HAHAHAHAHA! hc_goddess, that was a great post. Made me laugh out loud.

Master Yoda, you have such a great blog. It is a must read for me every day. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing part of your candid self with us!


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (11:56 AM) : 

Yes, hc_godess, a good one that was.

Hey, allowed to be funnier than me, you are not!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:59 AM) : 

Master Yoda, why aren't we allowed to be funnier than you?

I still loove Anakin!
~The Jedi Princess


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:59 AM) : 

Master Yoda, why aren't we allowed to be funnier than you?

I still loove Anakin!
~The Jedi Princess


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (12:01 PM) : 

Jedi Princess -

A joke that was. Be as funny as you want, you can.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:02 PM) : 

(sry about the double post)


Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (3:39 PM) : 

Oh good. I was afraid that you were turning as evil as Palpatine, or for once you couldn't hold down your alchohol. ;)


Blogger j00|{z said ... (6:45 PM) : 

Thank you, wise Master Yoda. But I fear it is too late. All this time I have been feeding my BurgerKing Chewie cheese! Cheese sticks, Cheese Nips, I think he was trying to hide it from me!I think I might have to give him an operation. Ugh *shudders* stuffing.


Blogger Jar Jar Binks said ... (7:59 PM) : 

Yodsa, whatsa phonesa servicesa do yousa usesa?


Anonymous hc_godess said ... (11:44 PM) : 

Oh, enough already - no one cares what you do every night, kid.

Master Yoda, maybe you should start screening comments. Just a thought.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:12 AM) : 

Don't worry about Planet Australia. I've seen it on the holonet. The people have funny accents and like to play with crocodiles and snakes and stuff. Seems very strange, but I don't think they are dangerous to the Repubic.


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (12:34 AM) : 

Thank you, hc_goddess

These kinds of comments I delete. But checked in a few hours I have not. As see you can now, deleted the comments are.


Anonymous fucker said ... (1:01 AM) : 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Blogger The Truffle said ... (4:22 PM) : 


Who's your favorite Star Wars gal? Leia? Amidala? Mara Jade? Jaina Solo? Aayla Secura? Shaak Ti?


Blogger j00|{z said ... (8:46 PM) : 

Australia is a whole buncha miles southwest of the Mexico place you got your awesome portrait.


Blogger trinamick said ... (11:41 AM) : 

Relieved I am to hear the Michael Bolton thing was just a rumor. If that were true, a scary place the Jedi Temple would be.


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