Monday, June 06, 2005

Ask Yoda

Just read Senator Amidala's post, I have. Went swimming with dolphins, I did not. Go to a Dolly Fan convention I did. Getting old this is. Slur my words, I do? Even like dolphins I do not. Creeps me out, that sound they make, "Hehehehehehe". Laughing at me they are.

Anyway, answer more of your questions, I will:

Actual emails

"i am a fox but beleve me no one will not. have any
ideas to help me do you.
-Ian J."

Answer: Ian, hang out with drunk people, you should. Instantly more attractive you will be.

Another email...

"If you had to go into exile (may the force forbid it) and you could go anywhere in the galaxy, where would you go?
-Danny F."

Answer: Schenectady. Know where it is, I do not, but fun to say it is!

Another email...

"Master Yoda, I have always wondered-was the late,
great, Qui-Gon Jinn a pothead?
-Guinistasia B."

Answer: Shortly before he died, take a "random" drug test, we made him. Tell you let me, more than midiclorians in his pee there was! But confidential that is, so tell anyone do not.

From your comments...

Jon, Intergalactic Gladiator: [on cleaning Wookie poo from my airspeeder] Is it concievable and within your Force powers to lift the particulate matter that is causing the odor and remove it from the vehicle? Size matters not.
Answer: Jon, thought way too much about this, you have.

hc_godess: I think Kenobi is hotter than Anakin
Guinistasia: Kenobi's hot, but kinda clueless.
Said that "hot" Kenobi is, many of you have. Concerned me, these comments have. So monitoring his temperature for the last several days, I have been. In his mouth, sneak a thermometer I do when sleeping he is. That more accurate, sticking the thermomoter somewhere else is, I have read. But that concerned I am not! Anyway, 98.6 degrees his temperature has been, the whole time. Well, except for that time when passed out drunk in the jacuzzi, he was. But count that does not. So put your minds at ease, you can. Your concern for Kenobi's welfare, we appreciate.

If questions for Yoda you have, email me at or leave them in the comments, you can. Respond to or use all of your emails I may not. Edit your emails or comments I may. My blog this is. Do whatever I want, I can.

Comments on "Ask Yoda"


Anonymous Byron Bay Jedi said ... (12:29 PM) : 

Concerned about Australia I am. A Sith Lord their Prime Minister appaears to be. Your opinion on this i would be interested to hear.

Like to know also I would, what kind of batteries you use for your lightsaber.

One last question, I want to ask. Miss Piggy have you ever met?


Anonymous WoogieGroupie said ... (12:56 PM) : 

No, Yoda, they think Obi Wan in attractive/sexy-like. And I must agree. That Anakin is too skinny and pretty-boy for my taste. Anyway, I think my brain practically melted out of my ears when I read that dribble that Amidala wrote. Seriously, it was like high school all over again...


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (2:50 PM) : 

Have you ever thought of going on a quiz show?


Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (4:29 PM) : 

"Hot" is a slang term that means that one is good-looking or sexy..

Hott means Anakin, because he's soo sexy and hot.


Anonymous hc_godess said ... (4:36 PM) : 

Yes, I did mean that I thought Kenobi was attractive. I did not mean to you confuse you, Master Yoda. I know how you feel now about the dolphins comment :)

Also, how can you detect a Sith Lord? I believe that the United States of America is currently under the control of a very powerful Sith Lord. Also, are there really only ever 2 Sith Lords at one time (the Master and the Apprentice)? Because with Oprah and Dr. Phil, and the President and the Vice President, that's 4... that is, if I am correct in assuming that they are all Sith Lords.


Blogger pantrygirl said ... (5:25 PM) : 

Welcome back, Yoda.

Hope the Dolly convention was all that you hoped it would be. Please, don't dress like her though.

I just saw your Diet Pepsi commercial and may I say, you don't look like you need Diet Pepsi. Did you do it purely for the $$$?


Blogger Nic said ... (5:36 PM) : 

Dear Master Yoda. Just a short message to say that your posts put smiles on my face daily. Thanks for making my breaks at work so much more enjoyable!


Anonymous Katrina said ... (6:09 PM) : 

Clearly, you find Obi-Wan an annoyance, don't you, Yoda?
I wouldn't mind taking him off your hands. Could I have him as a pet?
I promise I'll break him of his cheeto habit. :)


Blogger Luke Harbor said ... (10:19 AM) : 

i like that you chose mine that was great


Blogger j00|{z said ... (4:24 PM) : 

You are so wise, Master Yoda. Teach me, enlightened one with the force!

Is cheese healthy for Chewbacca?


Anonymous foxylady said ... (9:06 PM) : 

obiwan is far better than anakin. he not only has more experience, he doesnt talk like a wigger, and he walks around in his shorts! what more could a woman want?


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:28 AM) : 

i think this was so funny it was dumb. but i love yoda so much that i can mimic his vioce realy well.......... because i eat pie every day.


Anonymous Maxy 501 said ... (12:31 AM) : 

hi yoda,

this is maxy 501 i want to ask you a question. Do you like pie? if so wat kind of pie doyou like? (i like bluebeery)


Anonymous Andrew line said ... (12:34 AM) : 

poop i like, because stupd i am. see i tak like yoda! yay


Anonymous cow pie said ... (12:39 AM) : 

hi this is a poopy terd!!!! i am a pooy terd because i eat pies from cow's butt!!!!!!! and i have 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 cows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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