Friday, June 17, 2005

Ask Yoda

Share more of my wisdom with you now, I will. Also, share a secret with you, I will. When almost 900 years you reach, start to run out of wise things to say, you do. But, let the Padawans know this, I can not. So, when think of something to say I cannot, something from a fortune cookie I remember, I repeat. Then, like the one who thought of it I am, I pretend. Know the difference Padawans do not. When work that does not, Chicken Soup for the Jedi Soul I quote. Even the council, it fools.

I promise that mine all of the wisdom below is, as far as you know.

Actual Emails

My question this is: What is the meaning of life?
-John L.
Answer: Summed up in one word, the meaning of life can be - "Tofurkey".

Another email...

Master--On my planet, long ago, we had a sage named Grover, whose wisdom was as deep as his fur was fuzzy and blue. Watching the recent newsreels featuring your activities, I cannot help but wonder, are you our long-lost Grover?
Answer: Grover I am not, but very wise he is. The difference between "near" and "far", he taught me. Near .... far. Near ................... far. Near ............................................. far! Very profound.

From Your Comments...

Jon, intergalactic gladiator-
If The Six Million Dollar Man were created today, would he be better because of the increase in technology and standardization of parts, or would he be worse because $6 million doesn't get you as far today as it did in the seventies?
Answer: Depends, still get to date Lindsay Wagner, he would? All the difference, that would make.

Holy mother eph- I wonder what a wookie would look like with a buzz [cut].



Đirestraits- Are there any Sith Wookies? If not.. why?
Answer: As long as to the vet regularly you take him, and all his shots he gets, turn Sith a Wookie will not. Once, bitten by a Wookie with Sith, I was. 20 shots in my tummy, the doctor gave me. Now, just one shot there is, I understand. Just remember, if foaming at the mouth, a Wookie is, go near him do not. Gone Sith, he may have.

If questions for Yoda you have, leave them in the comments or email him at, you can. Reply to or use every email, I may not. Edit the comments or emails, I may. Reveal your personal information I will not. And please, family-friendly your comments keep!

Comments on "Ask Yoda"


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:59 AM) : 

At last, an explanation for Dennis Rodman! Also, thank you for introducing this fan of Master Yoda's Blog to the two blogs your stupid intern writes...which I also enjoy on a regular basis now! (But yours is the one I check every day...can't miss it!


Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (10:10 AM) : 

Master Yoda, why is Mace Windu the feminine guy he is?


Blogger Jar Jar Binks said ... (11:21 AM) : 

Oh greatsa Yodasa,
Is yoursa headsa bald, orsa, shaved?


Blogger j00|{z said ... (5:17 PM) : 

Master Yoda, what did you look like when you were young?


Blogger Guinastasia said ... (10:55 PM) : 

Master, I found a website you might like:

Of course, you probably know all about it already, but I thought, just in case, you might like to see it.

Oh, and I have a question-is Rick Santorum a Sith Lord? Is there anything that can be down to keep him from being reelected? I hate having him represent my beautiful state.


Blogger R. Scott Bonnell said ... (11:56 PM) : 

Funny..... i am SO glad i stumbled across your site....... or did the force bring me? your wisdom i need


Anonymous hc_godess said ... (1:59 AM) : 

Rick Santorum! guinastasia, are you from PA?!?


Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (10:00 AM) : 

PA is the best state! :-D


Anonymous hc_godess said ... (11:42 AM) : 

Yes it is!


Blogger Guinastasia said ... (1:51 PM) : 

I did say MY beautiful state, did I not?

Senator Heinz is rolling over in his grave.


Anonymous hc_godess said ... (9:52 PM) : 

it's my beautiful state too!


Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (10:24 AM) : 

Oi, mine too!


Anonymous John said ... (4:45 PM) : 

Well, just to reassure anyone with any doubts, this blog dos have fans who aren't in PA. Hello from the Great White North, and thanks to Mater Yoda for answering my question. Tofurkey... I had a feeling that the answer would require almost as much thought as the question.


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