An Evening With Mr. Cruise

Our guest at the Jedi Temple last night, actor Tom Cruise was. As see you can, his daughter he brought with him. Apparently, very close to his daughter he is. Very close. Odd, the evening was. First, get Mr. Cruise to stop jumping up and down on the sofa, we could not. Even take off his shoes before doing this, he did not! Great! Finally the Wookie smell I get rid of, now this! And of course, come over, Senator Amidala and her handmaiden Sabé had to. "In the area we just happened to be, and drop in we thought we would. Oh, have company do you? Know we did not." Yeah, right. Full of Wookie snot they are. Stop squealing they would not, when Tom Cruise, they saw. "Your biggest fans we are! Seen all of your movies we have!" For some reason, appear to like this, Young Skywalker did not. Suddenly, acting strangely he was. Keep challenging Tom Cruise to arm wrestle, he did. Then push-ups. Beating Young Skywalker at arm wrestling, Tom was, but then his nose Young Skywalker picked with the same hand to arm wrestle he was using. Freak Mr. Cruise out, this did. After he won, really obnoxious Young Skywalker became (Even more obnoxious than usual, he was, and saying a lot, that is.). "Not so tough you are, huh, Cruise? Not such a big deal now you are, are you?" he kept saying. After dinner, very boring it got. Sat down in the living room to talk, we did. A big mistake that was. Know when to shut up, Tom Cruise does not. On and on about his new documentary, he kept going. Called War of the Worlds it is. Very true-to-life it sounds, but care to hear about it all night I did not. Finally, I started to yawn, "Well, an early day tomorrow I have." Apparently, take a hint, Tom Cruise can not. "So, Yoda," he asked, "heard of Scientology have you?" Another two-hour marathon this started. "My own religion, I have," I said. Hello! Jedi Master in a Jedi Temple I am! Discourage him this did not. On and on about this L. Ron Hubbard guy he went. Get me to buy this guy's books, he tried. But trust someone who hides his first name, I do not. Besides, Battlefield Earth I saw. Come from anyone associated with that, nothing good can. Really ugly things got, when a glass of water I spilled on him by accident. Very upset he became. Let go of my arm he would not. "Do that, why would you?" He kept saying, "A jerk, you are." Angry Mr. Cruise was when he left. Oh well, maybe not so bad that is. Perhaps come back he will not.