Wednesday, June 22, 2005

An Evening With Mr. Cruise

TomKat

Our guest at the Jedi Temple last night, actor Tom Cruise was. As see you can, his daughter he brought with him. Apparently, very close to his daughter he is. Very close.

Odd, the evening was. First, get Mr. Cruise to stop jumping up and down on the sofa, we could not. Even take off his shoes before doing this, he did not! Great! Finally the Wookie smell I get rid of, now this!

And of course, come over, Senator Amidala and her handmaiden Sabé had to. "In the area we just happened to be, and drop in we thought we would. Oh, have company do you? Know we did not."

Yeah, right. Full of Wookie snot they are. Stop squealing they would not, when Tom Cruise, they saw. "Your biggest fans we are! Seen all of your movies we have!"

For some reason, appear to like this, Young Skywalker did not. Suddenly, acting strangely he was. Keep challenging Tom Cruise to arm wrestle, he did. Then push-ups. Beating Young Skywalker at arm wrestling, Tom was, but then his nose Young Skywalker picked with the same hand to arm wrestle he was using. Freak Mr. Cruise out, this did. After he won, really obnoxious Young Skywalker became (Even more obnoxious than usual, he was, and saying a lot, that is.). "Not so tough you are, huh, Cruise? Not such a big deal now you are, are you?" he kept saying.

After dinner, very boring it got. Sat down in the living room to talk, we did. A big mistake that was. Know when to shut up, Tom Cruise does not. On and on about his new documentary, he kept going. Called War of the Worlds it is. Very true-to-life it sounds, but care to hear about it all night I did not.

Finally, I started to yawn, "Well, an early day tomorrow I have."

Apparently, take a hint, Tom Cruise can not. "So, Yoda," he asked, "heard of Scientology have you?" Another two-hour marathon this started.

"My own religion, I have," I said. Hello! Jedi Master in a Jedi Temple I am! Discourage him this did not. On and on about this L. Ron Hubbard guy he went. Get me to buy this guy's books, he tried. But trust someone who hides his first name, I do not. Besides, Battlefield Earth I saw. Come from anyone associated with that, nothing good can.

Really ugly things got, when a glass of water I spilled on him by accident. Very upset he became. Let go of my arm he would not. "Do that, why would you?" He kept saying, "A jerk, you are."

Angry Mr. Cruise was when he left. Oh well, maybe not so bad that is. Perhaps come back he will not.

Comments on "An Evening With Mr. Cruise"

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (12:55 AM) : 

hey why isn't mr cruise's daughter look like him?

 

Anonymous WookieGroupie said ... (1:13 AM) : 

Heh, did Joey speak at all, or is she not allowed to formed sentences without the permission of her father?

 

Anonymous Mara said ... (1:50 AM) : 

Let Kenobi loose on Cruise, you should have.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:08 AM) : 

Cruise is a Sith!

http://waxy.org/random/view.php?type=video&filename=Tom_Cruise_Kills_Oprah.mov

 

Blogger ninjanun said ... (3:12 AM) : 

Anyone who can't take a hint AND forces their religious beliefs on you is probably a Sith Lord.

 

Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said ... (3:49 AM) : 

so thats why you lent me the wrestling video's last night, thanks mate

 

Anonymous sandyg said ... (11:18 AM) : 

Jumping up and down on the furniture is, evidently, not Mr. Cruise's only strange habit. Many pictures exist of him squeezing his daughter's neck, and there is some talk that strangling of some sort is involved. Perhaps why she speaks so little. Definitely a Sith, although not nearly dignified enough to be a Sith Lord, one would think!

 

Anonymous hc_godess said ... (11:30 AM) : 

Always trying to control the thoughts and actions of young women, Sith Lords are.

Always trying to get with women young enough to be their daughters, weird little Scientologists named Tom Cruise are.

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (11:59 AM) : 

Cruise's daughter must have breathing problems also. He has to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation often. Maybe she has asthma.

 

Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (12:43 PM) : 

Well, at least you didn't give him a microphone that sprayed water at him Yoda.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:52 PM) : 

Oh Yoda... I'm very worried for you now. A wise master such as yourself should know better than to pick a fight with the $cienos.

'General Order 66' is NOTHING comapred to 'Fair Game'.

You can learn of the peril others have faced at www.xenu.net

 

Blogger flu said ... (2:44 PM) : 

Yoda, why didn't you save Katie!?! She's being force-lured into the dark side!

 

Blogger Dago said ... (2:54 PM) : 

So sad it is. Needs to be put in a harness, young skywalker does. As for Cruise, talk less he should.

 

Blogger Guinastasia said ... (6:15 PM) : 

He really is a Sith Lord!

Scientologists are scary, Master Yoda. You are my new hero for making fun of this clam.

 

Blogger Nic said ... (8:38 PM) : 

HAHAHAHAHA! Three words for you Master Yoda: Brilliant! Thank you. :)

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:58 PM) : 

Guinistasia,

Great link! More proof it is.

 

Blogger Muhnahmuhnah said ... (3:24 PM) : 

Master Yoda, thank you for voicing our thoughts! Was she even born when Mr. Cruise was popular and sane? Poor kid; she needs to escape him before he buys that bikini for her...

 

Blogger Ruby-Flame said ... (2:47 PM) : 

Master Yoda, I about died laughing. You certainly have a way with weirdos. ;) When the hints aren't taken, "accidents" start to happen!

 

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