Sunday, April 02, 2006

Walking With Windu

After me to start exercising, Windu has been. Very concerned about my heath he is. To do things that are good for me, he keeps trying to convince me. In other words, very annoying he is!

"Yoda," he says, "you need to get out and get that little heart pumping! I mean, pumping hard, man! Your heart is crying out to be pumped! But you're strangling it with your Ben & Jerry's Chunky Munky, your Double McGreasy Burgers from Mc Burgerland, your El Blubber Grande Burritos from Taco Hutt, your Extra Lardy Fried Chicken from Kamino Fried Chicken, your..."

"Alright! The point I get!"

"And your lungs! Don't you want your lungs to be all pink and pretty? You've got to exercise them, man! You've got to give yourselves some pretty lungs! Pretty lungs are important! My lungs - they're pretty, man! That's because I get out and exercise! I get my heart pumping, my lungs pumping, my bladder pumping..."

"Your bladder pumping did you say?"

"I drink a lot of water, too. But forget that! The point is my insides are almost as pretty as my outsides, man! And I want your insides to be pretty, too! So tomorrow, you and I are going to go walking!"

"OK, good that sounds I guess."

"Really?" Very excited to hear me say that, he was.

"Yes, tomorrow go walking with you I will." Want to go walking, I did not. But I thought that maybe shut him up, it would. Stand to hear him go on and on I can not.

So early this morning, Windu I met near the front door. Very perky he was. "Mmm, boy! Just look at what a beautiful day it is, yes sir! I can't wait to go out and conquer it with sheer Winduness! That's right!"

"Had your coffee already, you must have."

"I don't need coffee, man! I am high on life! I don't need to be caffinated, sugared, and milked! I am Mace Windu! I am excited just to be me!"

Already hating him, I was. "Wearing what, are you?"

Wearing bicycle pants and a matching spandex top, he was. Like an idiot, he looked. "This is a fitness suit, man! Are you so unfamiliar with exercise that you don't know a fitness suit when you see it?"

"But just going walking we are."

"You wouldn't understand this, but it is important to be stylin' no matter what you're doing!"

"And the bicycle helmet? Wearing that, why are you?"

"With a pretty head like mine, you've got to protect it all times!"

"Again, just going walking we are."

"I can't take any chances, man! My cranium is too beautiful to risk it!"

Then, stretches and jumping jacks he started doing. "Warming up" he called it.

"But just going walking we are!"

"Exactly! I wouldn't want to pull something!"

"You know, need to do this, I do not. Very fit I am. In excellent shape I am."

"We'll see about that," he said.

Finally, walking we started. After a while, my heart I started to feel pumping. Pumping very hard it was. A lot I was sweating. Drenched, my clothes were. Having trouble breathing I was. Very tired, my legs were getting. About to give out on me they were, it felt like! "Windu," I said, "head back now we must. Go any farther, I can not."

"But we're not even to the end of the driveway, yet!"

"Yes, well work up to that, I will have to. Push it on my first time out, I should not."

When back into the house I got, that I needed to re-hydrate myself, I realized. Very important to keep hydrated, it is. So to the fridge I went and a beer I took out. Very conscious of my health, I am.


Comments on "Walking With Windu"


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (6:22 PM) : 

Wow, you made it that far?!?

Don't laugh, DO NOT LAUGH!


As much as I try to keep in shape, it is difficult, Mr. Yoda. I know it seemed like a hard effort, but you need to keep it up! Look at yourself. You are only 900 and you look like your over a 1000 years old!


Anonymous Harry said ... (7:33 PM) : 

Don't listen to Windu, Master Yoda. It was only your first day out. Maybe next time you'll get out to the mailbox. I mean, it probably is a long driveway. You seem fit to me.


Blogger JawaJuice said ... (7:46 PM) : 

Walk 5 minutes then get a beer?
Now that’s an exercise regiment I can get behind!!!


Anonymous medrewnotyou said ... (4:06 AM) : 

I wonder what a Force Wedgie would be like in bicycle pants. ::shudder::


Anonymous rfxiuc said ... (9:22 AM) : 

Think it might be ... incapacitating?!


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (9:22 AM) : 

So Mace walks around in public dressed like Manilli Vanilli? I guess he does have a lot of courage.


Blogger trinamick said ... (11:24 AM) : 

Just be glad you didn't end up with shin splints. Exercise is highly overrated.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:42 AM) : 

nice little walk those Jedi temple drive ways are sooo long


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (12:28 PM) : 

Master Yoda, I think your lungs get more than enough of a work out just by the sighs you let out due to Kenobi, Mace, Ani and Harvey


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