Sunday, April 09, 2006

Ask Yoda

So very fortunate you are. About to share some more of my immense wisdom with you, I am. Ready are you? Perhaps a tight hat you should put on your head so that explode your brain does not.

... Ok it is. Wait for you to get your hat I will.


... Ok, ready is everyone? Then here, answers to some of your questions are:

From Your Emails...


Brownidlaxlover asks -
"We have a star wars club my friends and I do and I wouldn like to get your opinion :
Do you think one of us will go bad like Anakin did in Episode 3 revenge of the Sith?"

Answer -
Know what this "star wars" or "Episode 3" is, I do not. But go bad you and your friends will not as long as in the refrigerator with your lids screwed tight, you stay. Also, make sure to check your expiration dates, you must.



mtusken asks -
"hi im a relly big fan what spices are you? im humam is it ok to talk like you like this i mean chosen one you are well do you know padme tell her to wite bake you to ok"

Answer -
Sure what language you are using, I am not. But try to answer some of your questions, I will.
Q: 'what spices are you?' A: Made up mostly of Oregano, Thyme, and Sage I am. ... And some Cayenne for zest.
Q: 'do you know padme tell her to wite bake you to ok' A: Yes, Senator Amidala I know, but painful, this 'wite baking' sounds. Want her to do that to me, I would not! However, tell her you said 'Hi' I will.


j b asks -
"Hello, I have a new undrilled 10# bowling ball and bag. Do you have any idea what it is worth?"

Answer -
On what planet you are on, it depends. For instance, the main form of currency on Planet Caucasia, bowling balls are. Because very big pockets they have, this is. Especially valuable to middle-aged married Caucasian males, bowling balls are.


Dorothy K asks -
"Did you marry Yaddle?"

Answer -
A complete lie, that article in the National Inquisitor was! No secret wedding there was. And if getting married I was, have MC Hammer officiate, I would not! And even met Sean Penn I have not, so why make him my best friend, would I? But thank you for giving me the opportunity to clarify this, I must, Dorothy.


MeDrewNotYou asks -
"The force can help with colds, right?"

Answer -
Yes, take TheraForce for that cold, you should. TheraForce for Day in the morning and TheraForce for Nights when about to go to sleep you are. After taking either one, attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery you should not.


.

Comments on "Ask Yoda"

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (4:09 PM) : 

Man, am I glad I have on my helmet! All that pertinent information to those penetrating questions was almost too much for my tiny little brain to handle!

Oooh... Oooh... Mr. Yoda? How many Nerfs does it take to knit a sweater for a bantha? I know they already have lots of fur, but I was just curious.

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (4:31 PM) : 

looks like mtusken also had the same "hooked on fonics" tapes I had as a youngling.

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (8:25 PM) : 

I figured mtusken was just sampling one too many of those "brownies" he was talking about.

 

Blogger Vegeta said ... (4:00 AM) : 

and People laugh about my hair. But it protects my head wisdom overload hahahahahahaha!

Here is a question do you mind if somone already has powers before they go into Jedi training?

 

Blogger Captain Berk said ... (8:02 AM) : 

If I had a question for you, it would be:

Can you come and use that force power of yours to come and lift my ship out of some quicksand?

I made a rather foolish bet with Spock. Now we can't get out.

Help...

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (9:20 AM) : 

Is there really such a thing as too young to start the Jedi training, or do you just say that to people with really bad BO you don't want in the temple.

 

Blogger akv0459 said ... (11:45 AM) : 

I haven't been on for a while Master Yoda... But i had sensed that there was a disturbance on these internets. I fear that the dark side has gotten a hold of you as well. Fight them master and bring back the glory of the jedi before advertising and pageviews... I have faith in you Master. May the force and voluntary contributions be with you. Back to my cave!

 

Blogger akv0459 said ... (11:47 AM) : 

Oh yeah... When can i expect my "darkforce lightsaber" and "Bantha Pudu cookies" to arrive? I did pay extra for the rush delivery... May the force expedite my online purchases... Back to my cave... AKV0459 OUT! wattup joisey

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (12:47 PM) : 

Perhaps you ought to explain how to correctly apply a force-wedgie.

 

Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (1:44 PM) : 

Oh! Yea! I could do with learning that skills Master! Could you teach me? Please?

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:59 PM) : 

akv0459,

If a check you would like to send me for writing this blog, happy to take down the advertisements, I would be.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (4:40 PM) : 

Enlightened I am now, Master Yoda. A question for you I have, however:

How many nerfs could a nerfherder herd if a nerfherder were herdering nerfs?

 

Anonymous Why havn't you told anyone said ... (4:41 PM) : 

Master Yoda, I heard that you have a new jedi knight http://barrissoffeesblog.blogspot.com/ .

 

Blogger Vampirella said ... (7:37 AM) : 

hmmm I will have to think of a question to email you :) but my head hurts right now from all the info you already gave ... owie ;):P

 

Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (10:16 AM) : 

Where's your Mommy Master Yoda? She must be really old, I guess she must have had a sabretooth tiger as a pet. Am I right?

 

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