The Jedi Code
|To stop me from administering Force-wedgies, the Council tried yesterday. That it is against the Jedi Code, they claimed. (I think maybe from here they got that idea.) But, better than any of those doofuses, I know the Jedi Code. Read it cover to cover many times I have. So, this verse I showed them:|
Jedi Code, Book of Geonosis, Chapter 23, Verse 57 -
(Translated from the ancient text)
"And in the case of a soul who practiceth doofustry, thou shalt hiketh up his inner garment in a painful manner. Yea, with the Force, thou must hiketh up his inner garment so that it buncheth up where the sun shineth not. And thou must not feeleth sorry for a soul, in the case of a soul who practiceth doofustry."
"Now, hold on a minute," Kenobi said, "Is that the Emperor James translation? 'Cause I don't believe no other translation."
"Of course, the Emperor James translation it is, Kenobi. The kind of question a doofus would ask, that is. Unfortunately, in accordance with this verse, a Force-wedgie I must give you now."
Quote the Jedi Code often, I must. Use it to help break Kenobi from running inside the Temple with his lightsaber, I had to.
This passage I showed him:
1 Ithorians 16:11, 12 -
"Thou shalt not runneth with thy lightsaber the way a hyperactive child runneth with scissors. Any soul who runneth with his lightsaber shall be branded a doofus and cast out from the Order for 40 days and 40 nights. And he must weareth a chicken costume those 40 days and 40 nights. And he must call out in a loud voice, "Stay away! I am a doofus who knoweth not how to acteth around a lightsaber! Shun me, for I hath runneth with my lightsaber like a senseless baboon."
So, forced to make Kenobi do this, I was:
Do what, could I? In the Jedi Code, it is! But one day, this verse Windu showed me:
Droideronomy 26:7 -
"Thou shalt not stuffeth ice cream in thy face every night while thou sitteth on thy couch. Thou must not piggeth out on the unnatural mixing of that which is Ben and that which Jerry. Thou must not partaketh of both that which is Chunky and that which is Munkey. Thou shalt not gorgeth thyself like a shameless pig."
But a metaphor that is supposed to be. Believe in such a literal interpretation of the Jedi Code I do not. How to interpret the Jedi Code, you have to know.