Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Jedi Code

To stop me from administering Force-wedgies, the Council tried yesterday. That it is against the Jedi Code, they claimed. (I think maybe from here they got that idea.) But, better than any of those doofuses, I know the Jedi Code. Read it cover to cover many times I have. So, this verse I showed them:

Jedi Code, Book of Geonosis, Chapter 23, Verse 57 -
(Translated from the ancient text)
"And in the case of a soul who practiceth doofustry, thou shalt hiketh up his inner garment in a painful manner. Yea, with the Force, thou must hiketh up his inner garment so that it buncheth up where the sun shineth not. And thou must not feeleth sorry for a soul, in the case of a soul who practiceth doofustry."

"Now, hold on a minute," Kenobi said, "Is that the Emperor James translation? 'Cause I don't believe no other translation."

"Of course, the Emperor James translation it is, Kenobi. The kind of question a doofus would ask, that is. Unfortunately, in accordance with this verse, a Force-wedgie I must give you now."

Quote the Jedi Code often, I must. Use it to help break Kenobi from running inside the Temple with his lightsaber, I had to.

This passage I showed him:

1 Ithorians 16:11, 12 -
"Thou shalt not runneth with thy lightsaber the way a hyperactive child runneth with scissors. Any soul who runneth with his lightsaber shall be branded a doofus and cast out from the Order for 40 days and 40 nights. And he must weareth a chicken costume those 40 days and 40 nights. And he must call out in a loud voice, "Stay away! I am a doofus who knoweth not how to acteth around a lightsaber! Shun me, for I hath runneth with my lightsaber like a senseless baboon."

So, forced to make Kenobi do this, I was:

Do what, could I? In the Jedi Code, it is! But one day, this verse Windu showed me:

Droideronomy 26:7 -
"Thou shalt not stuffeth ice cream in thy face every night while thou sitteth on thy couch. Thou must not piggeth out on the unnatural mixing of that which is Ben and that which Jerry. Thou must not partaketh of both that which is Chunky and that which is Munkey. Thou shalt not gorgeth thyself like a shameless pig."

But a metaphor that is supposed to be. Believe in such a literal interpretation of the Jedi Code I do not. How to interpret the Jedi Code, you have to know.


Comments on "The Jedi Code"


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:34 AM) : 

I heard that all copies of that book were distroyed after... uhhh, never mind. At least your all well read.


Blogger Nic said ... (11:54 AM) : 

Wow! What a clever book that is. I am in agreement that one must know when to be literal in interpretation and when to be figurative. Well done, Master Yoda.


Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said ... (1:15 PM) : 

ROFL! Obi-Wan in chicken suit! I have seen it all!!


Blogger JawaJuice said ... (1:50 PM) : 

Oh my! That picture is great.
You should have all the jedi dress that way.

….that obi-wan…what a cluckin’ idiot!!


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (1:58 PM) : 

Interesting how this book is open to such interpretations.

Although, there are those who would say that that book is all fiction, anyway.


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (2:18 PM) : 

As long as you are administering those Force Wedgies for educational purposes, I really don't see how anyone could complain.


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (3:20 PM) : 

I saw the loophole in there for you Master Yoda. The line is "Thou shalt not gorgeth thyself like a shameless pig.", but you have lots of shame after gorgeing yourself. That why you do all that "sweating to the oldies" stuff


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (4:17 PM) : 


Know that fiction it is not they will, when upon them Jar-Jarmageddon comes.


Anonymous Padawan Patty said ... (4:22 PM) : 

I'm hungry. I feel like eating chicken tonight... Oh wait, I had chicken yesterday. Oh and the day before yesterday. And the day before that. And everyday before that * feels sick*

I'm not hungry anymore.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:01 PM) : 

"If Thou shalt gorgith thyself as shamless pigith."


Therefore you have not gorgith'd


Blogger Obi-Wan Kenobi said ... (5:43 PM) : 

If I'm not mistaken, they's discriminatin' against your ice cream. Maybe someone oughta update this here book.


Blogger Son Goku said ... (12:45 AM) : 

Um since your not allowed to have Icecream , and I'm not a Jedi I'll take it off your hands!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:34 AM) : 

Isn't there something in that book about being full of thy self???


Blogger Barriss Offee said ... (4:40 PM) : 

Oh, Master Yoda! Why did you have to bring up the code now?


Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (5:29 PM) : 

I personaly believe that the James translation of that book is.... not very accurate...


Anonymous JediKnightLolo said ... (1:05 AM) : 

Why not Barriss? Did you do something that went agaist the code?


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