Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Yacking With Yoda

Much earlier my Stupid Intern should have posted this. But some lame excuse for not doing it, he had. A doctor's appointment, or a family member's wedding or funeral or something he had. Something like that it was. Whatever, care I do not. Do that sort of thing on his own time, he must! Unfortunately, since for free he works, dock his pay I can not. Have to feed him less, I will. Anyway, here the post is:

Still doing that stupid call-in radio show the Chancellor made me sign up for, I am. Getting any better it is not! Calling in, more losers than ever are. The stupidest job I have ever had, this is.

Caller: Yeah, so I was wondering if you know what I should about this rash I have. It's on my...


Me: Next caller.

Hey! I told you before, you can't just be rude and hang up on a caller because you don't want to hear about their problem!

Me: What other reason for rudely hanging up on a caller would their be?

Producer: Just take the next call.

Me: Hello, Lulu from Tatooine, on the air you are. Lulu? Lulu? There are you?

Producer: For the thousandth time, you have to push the flashing button!

Me: Pushing the button I am!

Producer: That's not the button, that's the light switch on the wall!

Me: Wondering why flickering the lights in here were, I was. Lulu, on the air you are.

Caller #2: Hello? Am I on?

Me: Yes, on the air you are. Your problem, what is?

Caller #2: Well, my old man keeps trading our food stamps for chewing tobacco, see...

Me: Well, a big problem that is, yes.

Caller #2: Nah, that ain't the problem. I ain't got to it, yet. See, I like the Beechnut brand, but he keeps gettin' Skoal. The way I figure, them food stamps is really mine, since the Government sends 'em to me on account of I got eight kids, most of which ain't his. So I'm thinking I should get the say over which brand of chaw we get. What do you think?

Me: Kill me now, someone must.

Caller #2: Huh?

Me: Lulu, matter it does not.

Caller #2: How come?

Me: Because gone, all of your teeth will soon be.

Caller #2: 'Cause I chew tobacco?

Me: Yes, mostly. Also at blame, inbreeding is. Anyway, dentures you will have and be able to chew tobacco you will not. So matter this argument will not.

Caller #2: Ok, but I also got this other problem...

Me: Care I do not. For calling thank you. Goodbye.


Me: All the time we have for Yacking With Yoda we have that is...

Producer: We still have 20 minutes!

Me: enjoy these fine commercials for the next 20 minutes you will. In the mean time, like to leave you with this final word of advice for tonight, I would: "Just because important to you, your problem is, mean that does not that stupid it is not." A good night have.

Words to live by, those are.

Comments on "Yacking With Yoda"


Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said ... (12:27 AM) : 

EWWWW! That stuff is nasty!
Hey, you should check out my blog, Yoda, there is interesting pic of you there... No Force Wegies please! *snicker*


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (1:55 AM) : 

Your final thought could have also been Just because important to you, your problem is, mean I care it does not

You know, you are sitting on a golden opportunity to start a scam, Master Yoda. You could tell your callers that their problems could be solved by your patented pressure washing system. Just label it an alternative therapy (so no regulations). Then you could charge people money to go through your pressure washer. It'd be win win, you get money & and the opportunity to pressure wash idiots.


Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (6:30 AM) : 

She has a point. It's a good idea, plus you could make Obi-Wan pay and then you could double your fun!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7:41 AM) : 

I also agree...

you are missing out on a fortune


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (8:11 AM) : 

If she's on foodstamps, are you sure that she can afford dentures?


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:10 AM) : 

After a while it wont matter, the gums will be so numb that she could chew gravel and not feel it .

I agree yoda, you could make a killin here, Yoda Crane



Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (10:23 AM) : 

Darth Oprah should contact you for her TV show


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (10:44 AM) : 

I can see that this job is causing you a lot of anxiety Master Yoda. Might want to think sending someone to fill in for you next time. Anakin or Mace. You know, someone responsible.

Shows like yours have guest hosts all the time.


Blogger JawaJuice said ... (6:08 PM) : 

All these Yackin’ with Yoda’s you have done…and still no Yak in sight.


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