Sunday, February 12, 2006

Winter Galactic Olympics

So on, the Winter Galactic Olympics are. For hours on end, Kenobi watches it. Get into it I can not. Bored by it I am. But a question I have. Have it answered I must. What the heck kind of sport this is, and become an Olympic event, how did it?:
















Called "Curling" it is. Understand it, I do not. A lot of sweeping the ice with brooms, it involves. Split into Men's Curling and Women's Curling it is. Apparently, an unfair advantage over women when it comes to sweeping with a broom, men have.

Some research I did, and what I came up with, this was: On Planet Scotland, this game started. First played in 1836 on an ice rink owned by Angus MacShifty, it was. Going through hard financial times Angus was, because invested all of his money in his new invention, the mini-Kilt, he had. Unfortunately way ahead of his time, Angus' fashion sense was and catch on until the 1960's the mini-Kilt would not. (A time of peace, love, and hairy legs, the 1960's were, but another story that is.) So forced to lay off his janitorial staff, Angus was.

Of course, consisted only of a local drunk by the name of Patrick MacSneezy, his janitorial staff had. Though a drunkard MacSneezy was, the rink well swept, he kept. So the problem of how the rink would get swept every day, Angus was left with. Too cold to get out on the ice himself Angus was usually, as provide much coverage, his mini-Kilt did not.

So one day, an idea he came up with. All of the local kids he gathered. A "new game" that he claimed he invented, he told them about. A bunch of brooms he handed out. Then a big rock he slid across the ice. He told the kids that sweep in front of the rock, they had to. More clear on the rules he was not. But matter that did not, as strung out on Haggis while listening to loud bagpipe music all day, the kids had been. Play this weird game or eat more sheep innards while listening to more bagpipe music, their choice was. A broom each of them enthusiastically grabbed. Return every afternoon to play this game they would, as a pleasant alternative to the only other recreational activity (sheep guts and bagpipe) that had been available to them, this presented.

About Angus' idea, other ice rink owners across Scotland heard. Soon, laying off their drunk janitors they would be also. In a few years, all over Scotland, played by gullible children tired of eating Haggis this game would be.

Still know how this got into the Olympics or what the point of it is, I do not. But at least have to eat sheep innards, I do not.

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Comments on "Winter Galactic Olympics"

 

Blogger Vegeta said ... (4:28 AM) : 

I knew it!

 

Blogger Vampirella said ... (7:20 AM) : 

ewww sheep inners

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (8:06 AM) : 

Mmmm, right...

I remember reading on the radio several years back that a bunch of snowboarders had a presentation for the Olympic Committee and would have been let in, except they partied too hard the night before and overslept their appointment. They were let into the next one, though.

 

Blogger Jabafatboy said ... (8:24 AM) : 

After a few hrs of watching this game it should be names Hurling, at least thats what I wanted ta do.

NOW , if ya put the girls in them Mini-Kilts, Hmmmmmm..........

 

Anonymous Darth PatMatticus said ... (8:38 AM) : 

This game is much like shuffelboard. Master Yoda, you should know alot about shuffelboard.

 

Blogger J. Fandango said ... (8:48 AM) : 

That game is super borring...

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:29 AM) : 

We played this a lot on Hoth. With the long, cold nights, we had to be inventive. We used tauntaun chips for the stones and broken wire bundles for the brooms. It passed the time and proved that if yoru drunk enough, anything can be fun.

 

Anonymous medrewnotyou said ... (1:38 PM) : 

Ah, the 60's. Peace and love. I could do without the hairy legs bit.

 

Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (4:20 PM) : 

Whoop! Winter Galactic Olympics!
I just love Boarding! I go to Hoth all the time to do !

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (6:24 PM) : 

Please for the love all that is good, do not let Master Windu find out about mini-kilts (shutters)

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (6:26 PM) : 

Also we Clones play a similar game on the ice. Except we slide on our armor and others sweep in front us. But we have to be careful not to hit any one with the broom and hurt them. Otherwise we might hear an "ice scream clone"




Oh come on you knew it was comming someday :)

 

Anonymous medrewnotyou said ... (9:26 PM) : 

Boo! :]

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:07 PM) : 

Army of (Cl)one, revoking your punning license I am.

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (11:35 PM) : 

Oh great, Yoda just another person in favor of Pun Control.

It always the same: frist they restrict the Puns,then the one liners and befor you know it we're all Pauly Shore. Not on my watch, mister..Not on my watch

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (12:42 AM) : 

Kill people, puns do not. People, people kill.

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (2:58 PM) : 

when Puns are illegal, then only illegals will have Puns. (oh wait thats not right)

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (5:54 PM) : 

"Kill people, puns do not. People, people kill. "

That is very funny! LOL

 

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