Sunday, January 01, 2006

Typical Morning

At the breakfast table, Kenobi and I were. Discussing the contents of this morning's paper we were.

"See, Kenobi, lazy Beetle is. And mad that makes Sarge. So feel the urge to beat Beetle up, that makes him."

"I still don't get it."

Just then, in Windu runs. "Have you people seen my scalp shining cream?"

"Look like what, does it?"

"Very funny. You people are always laughing at my pain! How about a little empathy? A little understanding? Don't you people care about my feelings? Can't you find it in your hearts to show me a little fellow-feeling? A little kindness? Would a simple hug kill you once in a while? Can't you take two minutes to look at me and say, 'Hey, Mace. You're looking especially shiny today. How do you feel?'... Well can't you? Can't you?!"

To me Kenobi turned, "So now this Beetle feller is lazy..."

"Didn't you hear a word I said?!" Windu cried.

"Hmm, yes. What you said, we heard," I assured him, "Feeling shiny you are, but in pain from laughing so hard you are. Yes."

"That is not what I said!"

"So many words!" Kenobi said, "How's anybody supposed to pay attention when you keep talkin' so much?! I mean, take a breath once in a while, or somethin'!"

Indignant, Windu became. "Well, excuse me for sharing my feelings! Excuse me for being human! Excuse me for wanting to communicate with my Jedi brothers! Excuse me for baring a little bit of my soul and making myself vulnerable to you people! Excuse me for..."

"More words!" Kenobi said, "If I hear any more I'm gonna go crazy!"

"Fine!" Up, Windu threw his hands, "I can't talk to you people."

"Coulda fooled me." Kenobi said.

"That's it! I'm leaving! I'm not putting up with this!"

"Still talkin'."

Off, Windu stomped. "Whatever! I am so mad!"

"I can still hear ya."

If mad Windu thinks he is now, wait until he finds out I used his scalp cream to wax my speader, he should.

Comments on "Typical Morning"


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (5:26 AM) : 

You have found a much better use for it.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:15 AM) : 

Sarge is Beatin up Beetle for bein lazy......Yoda's Force Wedgin Obi & ani ..... " a Pattern "

Hmmmmm Wounder if beetle and sarge are Jedi


Blogger Private Hudson said ... (10:14 AM) : 

Heh heh, that lazy Beetle Bailey. Of course, if he were in the Colonial Marines, it would be game over for him.


Anonymous Darth PatMatticus said ... (10:46 AM) : 

Happy New Year Master Yoda


Blogger Jango Fett said ... (11:08 AM) : 

all because Mace couldnt find his shininng scalp cream. :)


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (12:52 PM) : 

did the scalp cream make your speedo oh-so-pretty like Mace?


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (1:13 PM) : 

Maybe you should get Mr. Windu a can of Simonize to pay him back.


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (9:01 PM) : 

I wouldn't tell the manufacuror. They'd probably start charging double for their "Million and One Uses!" product.

"It's a scalp cream!"

"No, it's speeder polish!"

"You guys are both wrong. New Head Wax is both!"


Blogger Nic said ... (9:25 PM) : 

HA! Kenobi getting snarky. That's a barrel of laughs right there!!!


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (9:35 PM) : 

Well, if Windu turns out to like the Simoniz stuff, just think of the hug he'll give you Wedge, and then want to talk about his deep feelings of appreication with you at great length.


Blogger Revan said ... (10:01 PM) : 

I'm gonna have to go with Kenobi this time. Mace loves his head too much.


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