Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Ask Yoda

Answered many of your questions below I have.

Charging you for this I should be. Usually have to sign up for the Jedi Academy then pass the grueling entrance exams you would have to before share with you this kind of wisdom I would. And of course, the hazing and Pledge Week there is. Easy you got off.

From Your Comments:

Jason wrote: I wonder what you would get if you mixed 2 extreme opposites like Windu and Kenobi together in to one person.

Answer: Ready for this answer are you? If in the room, Younglings are, send them out now, you must.

Out of the room, are they? OK....


+ =
















Norton wrote:
How do Stormtroopers go to the toilet? It doesn't look as if the armour is easy to remove, even with that big white codpiece.

Answer: Norton, almost 900 years I have lived. Traveled the galaxy for centuries gathering much wisdom and experience I have. My immense wisdom I offer freely to you. And a question like this you ask me. Good choice.
Standard issue for all Stormtroopers, Depends undergarments are. An important part of the every Stormtrooper's uniform they are. Of course, constantly take the Depends off when full they get, Stormtroopers can not. So built into their armor, a nozzle for a wet/dry vacuum hose is. Once a day, lined up the Stormtroopers are so that receive their vacuuming they can. Very efficient it is.


Peter Twister wrote: Why always in inverted gramatical order do you speak?

Answer: Nothing wrong with the way I speak, there is. Been speaking this way for almost 900 years I have. Maybe inverted your grammar is! Hmph!

Peter Twister also wrote: Do you think the female of your same species that sits on the jedi council is hot?

Answer: Of Master Yaddle you speak? Only 477 years old she is! Look at a young girl that way, I would not! A dirty old man I am not! Rob the cradle like that I would not! Scandalous that would be!

Lt Cmdr Oneida: Do you have a Dolly Parton addiction support group that you go to?

Answer: If wrong, being addicted to Dolly is, then want to be right I do not!


From Your Emails

"Dear Master Yoda,
Here's a misc. question for your blog.
Did you have a sit-&-spin when you were a kid? If not, are you mentally
scarred by this deprivation? (I am) ... Oh the deprivation!!! "
- Kathleen R.

Answer:
Padawan Kathleen,
Obviously, issues you have. But empathize I can. A Sit-&-Spin I had not! Cheap knock-off toys my parents would buy me, so a Sit-&-Pretend-to-Spin I had. A round piece of cardboard it was. Set it on the ground, then sit on top of it, you were supposed to. Then imagine yourself spinning you had to. Rock my world it did not.
-Master Yoda

Like to thank everyone who submitted questions, I would.

A question for Yoda, have you? Maybe advice you need? Post it in the comments here or email them to me you can. (On the right-hand side of this blog, my email address is.) Perhaps answer the question in my next Ask Yoda post I will.

Comments on "Ask Yoda"

 

Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (12:46 AM) : 

Ok, I have another question for you. While on a mission, I was chatting with a Jedi, who told me that Jedi weren't supposed to have attachments, fall in love, or be in an intimate relationship.

So here's my question. Did the Jedi who told me you all weren't allowed to have relationships just making it up to make fun of a naive naval officer?

Oh, one more, do you ever wear socks? I know you wear feeted/footed PJs, so I was just curious.

 

Blogger Mace Windu said ... (1:29 AM) : 

im going to pretend i didnt see that see that secound anwser!

 

Blogger Son Goku said ... (2:25 AM) : 

hmmm can I wrestle Kenobi? hmmmmm what else? is it wrong Vegeta wants to beat up Jar Jar?

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (8:59 AM) : 

A dirty old man...*giggle*

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:32 AM) : 

OMG, It's Kenobu!

Anyway, thank you again for sharing your widom, Master Yoda. Your ________ and _______ shall always brighten our _________.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (9:57 AM) : 

Jon, like to buy a vowel, I would.

PS - "Kenobu"! Great that is!

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (12:35 PM) : 

Hey Commander, are you sure that Jedi you were chatting with was not hitting on you? Are you sure he was a Jedi?

Mr. Yoda, if you think Ms. Yaddle is too young at 477, what should we think of your feelings toward Dolly, who has not even over 100? This is a conundrum!

On the other hand, it seems that all you Jedi have some passion for other things: Kenobi with his cheetos, you with Dolly, and Windu with himself.

Just an observation.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (12:48 PM) : 

Wedge Antilles,

825 years old in dog years, Ms Parton is. So OK with that I am.

 

Anonymous Mama-Y said ... (2:44 PM) : 

Look you little "weeble",did the best we could,your papa and I did, with the few credits we had back in those days. Had to grow up with out any cardbaord to make any pretend toys, I did. Besides,
over 900 yrs old both you and that whiney Padawan Kathleen are...
GET OVER IT!!!!!

 

Blogger Revan said ... (2:51 PM) : 

hmmmm... isn't yaddle dead? She died on a mission with kemobi and skywalker, right? Some lunatice was going to poison a planet and she absorbed it or somthing and blew up. It was in a book series called jedi quest...

 

Blogger Revan said ... (3:12 PM) : 

1)What did you look like when you were a baby? 2)What do baby wookies look like? 3)Are you sure your not a dirty old man?

 

Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (3:47 PM) : 

Wedge, I'm pretty sure he wasn't, and if he was, it was highly ineffective.

And Damn! Dog years?!?! Master Yoda, if Dolly ever reads that, you'll have no chance of ever meeting her. Ever. Should have said cat years, much more flattering to the female ego.

Though she might write a snappy song about your rudeness...

And for the record, I think Dolly Parton is awesome.

 

Anonymous redheadwithbedhead said ... (5:42 PM) : 

Hey Master Yoda, I have two questions.

1) What is Chewbaca's favorite food?

2) Is it true that Barney the Purple Dinosaur is with the Dark Side? (please say yes)

-redhead

 

Blogger Jabafatboy said ... (9:37 PM) : 

Sounds like mama y done flew off the sit & spin her own self !!

and that Padawan kathleen, I know her , definantly from the darkside that one is. :)

 

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