Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Talk

Been looking forward to this day I have not.

"Master Yoda?"

"Yes, Harvey."

"Where do babies come from?"

"Well... uh, ahem... a good question that is, Harvey. You see, babies... Uh, smell something burning do you?"


"Oh, OK. That something was burning I thought. Talking about what, were we?"

"Where babies come from."

"Yes... Say, on TV one of your cartoons is, hmm?"


"Oh, OK. Sure you are that rather play with the other Younglings right now you would not?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I really wanna know where babies come from. Hey, why ya sweating so much, Master Yoda? Are ya hot or something?"

"No, no, fine I am."

"Is this a really hard question, Master Yoda? 'Cause if you don't know the answer, I can go ask Master Obi-wan..."

"No! I mean, uh, no, alright that is. Answer your question I can. Old enough you are. Time for you to know the answer to this it is. Honest with you I will be. The truth I will tell you... Babies... the Stork brings."

"But where does the Stork get them?"

"That store we went to when some clothes I needed you remember, Babies R Us? Where the stork gets them, that is."

"But where does the store get them?"

"From the baby factory."

"The baby factory? OK, but how do they - "

"Alright, alright. All of it I made up. But very hard for me, just telling you is. I think maybe pictures I will draw."


So a pad of pager I got out and picture I drew for Harvey to explain where babies come from.

"What's that, Master Yoda? A giraffe?"

"No, Harvey, a giraffe that is not. A stick-figure man that is."

"Can you do a giraffe? 'Cause that's my favorite."

"Focus you must Harvey. Pay attention as I draw you must."

"Ok, sorry. I promise I'll pay real good attention... Oh wow! Ewww!"

The same after this Harvey was not. The same after this I was not! I think the next time this question a Youngling asks me, just point him to an encyclopedia I will. More quickly that way, they learn.

Comments on "The Talk"


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (1:24 AM) : 

Well, at some point in the conversation you must have mentioned cooties.
You should have sent him over to ask Master Mundi, he could have explained it. He has how many kids?


Blogger Son Goku said ... (1:24 AM) : 

unfortunatly My son Goten went to my old Kamisenin martial arts teacher Roshi to ask this question. He is a total perv and showed him playboys the poor kid was traumatised and still can't relate to women


Blogger Jedi Katt said ... (3:22 AM) : 

Master Tachi will apparently ask me to check up myself for asking this question and well... she asked me to check up the encyclopedia / dictionary / thesaurus even I ask her where's the toilet


Blogger Jason said ... (3:56 AM) : 

poor yoda...i wonder if you turn purple when you blush? green+red?


Blogger Callista said ... (4:59 AM) : 

It's always embarrassing when a youngling asking you questions.


Blogger jedisiri said ... (6:18 AM) : 

Baby comes from encyclopedia! That's new to me...


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:26 AM) : 

SEEEEE!!! THIS is why its always important to have a wifiepoo around. when the hard questions come along you can say go ask your mother. She claims she knows everything anyway!!

You Should have sent him to YADDLE


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:16 AM) : 

Just to be clear on this, Mr. Yoda, did you show him how human procreate, or how you (whatever species you are) do it? There may be a significant difference.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (11:24 AM) : 

Hey isn't this a job for Harvey's parents?


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:00 PM) : 


When to the Temple a Youngling comes and a Padawan he becomes, maybe see his parents ever again he will not.

Believe me, love to pass the job of giving this talk on to them I would!


Blogger Jedi Katt said ... (5:48 AM) : 

Did I say that, Master Tachi?


Anonymous mattom said ... (1:03 PM) : 

babies come from those in the ...euh..mmm the sky.


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