Friday, December 16, 2005

Road Trip

A speeder trip to the other side of Coruscant, some of us had to make today. Going with me, Kenobi and Harvey the Youngling were. Think of more pleasant things to do than taking a long speeder ride with those two, I can. On that list, getting stabbed in the eye with a rusty screwdriver is.

"Use the bathroom now before we leave, you must," I told Harvey, "Because stopping I am not!"

Then in the room, Yaddle stepped. All dressed up she was. Her make-up she put on, and brushed her hair was.

"Going where, are you?" I asked her.

"Going with you, I am," she said.

Wookiee snot! Going to take forever to get there it was, now! A bladder the size of a sewing thimble, she has.

Fifteen minutes into the trip: "Pull off at the next exit you must. To use the ladies' room I need."

"What?! Just started we got! Hold it for a little longer you can."

"Pull off at the next exit you will or a wet seat you will have."

So off the Interplanet I exited and into a Stop and Slurp I pulled.

"Doing what are you?" she asked.

"Finding a bathroom for you I am."

"Going to the ladies' room here I am not. Dirty their restrooms are."

So around I drove, while for a McBurgerland I was looking. Finally one I found. Since clean it looked, out Yaddle got.

"Master Yoda, can I get a McGreasy Burger? I'm hungry."

"Hungry you can not be, Harvey. Right before we left, breakfast you had. Spoil your lunch it will if food you get now. Besides, want you eating in my speeder I do not."

"I could go for a Cheerful Meal. They got some neat toys in 'em now." Kenobi said.

"No! Definately eating in this speeder, you are not, Kenobi! But since here we are, to the restroom, take Harvey. The last time I am stopping this is!"

In there for a long time, all three of them were. Thinking about going in after them I was. Then out all at once, they came. A Cheerful Meal, Kenobi and Harvey each had.

Very angry I was. "Eat in the speeder you could not, I told you!"

"Hungry the boys are. Just a little something to eat I bought them," Yaddle said.

"But just thirty minutes ago they ate!"

"Growing boys they are."

"Thirty-four years old, Kenobi is!"

"Thirty-four and a half." Kenobi corrected.

Finally, back on the Interplanet we got. But hang out of the window while he ate, I made Kenobi. Going to get ketchup stains in my speeder he was not! Strictly I told them, "The last time we stop, this is!"

Ten minutes later: "Master Yoda, I gotta go potty."

"What?! Harvey, to go potty when we stopped at the McBurgerland, I told you!"

"But I didn't need to, then."

Then, Yaddle said, "To go I have to, too."

The speeder ride that would never end, this was turning out to be. A perfectly good rest stop there was, but like it, Yaddle did not. "Going to the restroom with all of those truckers around, I am not."

What she has against truckers, I know not. But take the next exit and hunt for another clean restroom I had to. When finally back on the Interplanet we got, the rest of the trip fighting, Kenobi and Harvey spent.

At first, fighting about the toys in their Cheerful Meals, they were. Mad Kenobi was that the Wonder Wookie action figure instead of the Captain Typho action figure he got. Trade him, Harvey would not. Then stupid things they started fightin over.

"Master Yoda, the fringes of his robe keep falling on my half of the seat!"

"He keeps lookin out my window, instead of lookin out his own window!"

"Stop fighting now, you two must! Pull this speeder over, I will!"

And of course, a thousand times, this I heard, "Master Yoda, are we there, yet?"


"Are there now?"


"How about now?"

"Harvey! Stopped moving have we?"

"Um, no."

"Still in the speeder are we?"


"Then there yet we are not! Sit back and be quiet you must!"

"Oh, ok."

"Good boy."

"How about now? Are we there now?"

"To stop again for the Ladies Room, I need."

AAAAAAAAAAH! Next time, take the bus I will.

Comments on "Road Trip"


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (3:57 AM) : 

Ohh ohh, I want a Captain Typho action figure. Every time I get a Cheerful meal, I get a Senator, not very exciting or action oriented.
Excepting of course my old boss, Padme causes lots of chaos and action.
Does Harvey want to trade maybe, except I do like my Bail Organa figure, so I won't trade that one.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:00 AM) : 

why didn't you just bail on them? :)


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7:56 AM) : 

Im thinkin ( novel idea i know ) that if you could come up witth an anti potty wedgie, we could make some big credits sellin that idea.

I know this guy Kramer , can sell anything.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:23 AM) : 

Maybe you could hook up with captain Berk and get one of his transporters. That way, you don't have to go on long rides.


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (1:37 PM) : 

Wow. Been there, done that, got the seat stains to proove it. The rides we took back home and my dad would not stop for anything. That was how I learned to 'hold it' while sitting in a cockpit for many many hours.


Blogger War Eagle said ... (2:47 PM) : 

LOL LOL. Road Trips can be a bitch all right. Especially with younglings.


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (8:13 PM) : 

I bet that Wonder Wookie could be worth something someday.


Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (10:09 PM) : 

That's why you gotta teach little Harvizzle howta make a Force-bubble so Obs don't be touchin him or whatev.


Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said ... (8:07 PM) : 

Get them a portable DVD player and a selection of Disney movies. That used to keep Darth Maul quiet on long trips.


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