Monday, December 05, 2005

Windu and His Weight

The other day, a sneaky thing we did. Yes, quite sneaky, Kenobi, Young Skywalker and I were. You see, when out Windu was, his full-length mirror we took out of his room. With one of those fun house mirrors that look fat it makes you, we replaced it. Hee Hee!

A worried look on his face he had when out of his room he came that morning. The first person he spoke to, Kenobi was.

"Tell me the truth, man, does my butt look big to you?" he said.

Pleased with this question, Kenobi did not seem. "I ain't lookin' at no nother feller's butt!" he started to say, but instead what he said this was, "Well, I didn't want to say nuthin, but it does seem a little bigger'n usual."

"What?!" A cow Windu almost had. "Oh, no, no, no! This will not stand! I must maintain my prettiness!"

"Going where are you?" I asked, "Coming down to breakfast you are not?"

"No time. I have to maintain The Pretty! I'm going down to run a couple of laps around the Temple."

The next day, a mirror that even fatter makes a person look, we snuck in his room. Heard coming from his room, a girlish shriek could be.

Over the course of the last week, tinkered with his bathroom scale we have. Now, several pounds it adds. Also, replaced all of his robes with much smaller ones we have.

Today, on the elevator we all got. Like stuck it was, I acted. "Wait," I said, "a weight limit it has."

At Windu we all looked. Off of the elevator he got. Then the button I pushed so up it went. Hee hee hee!

Always sweaty from constant exercise he is now. Jumping jacks during Council meetings he does. Taking a "spinning" class he is. Know what that was I did not. That dizzy you would get from that, I thought. Then, what it is Windu explained to me. Need to take a class to learn to ride and exercise bike, why would anyone? No sense that makes.

But the best thing, his diet is. Down to a diet of water and Tic Tacs, he is. But mess with him more I had to.

"Fat free water are you drinking, Windu?"

"What?! Isn't all water fat free?"

"Say 'fat free' on the label, does it?"


"Then fat free it must not be."

"Holy Mother of Jabba! I might as well have been drinking some kind of fat-juice this whole time! I'm going to go buy some fat free water right now!"

Still looking he is. Imagine the look on the clerks' faces I can, when 'fat free' water he asks for! Hee hee hee hee!

I think a pang of guilt I just felt. No wait. Indigestion that was.

Comments on "Windu and His Weight"


Blogger Noel of Neptonian said ... (4:35 AM) : 


Is that like blinker fluid?


Blogger Helen Louise said ... (7:57 AM) : 

hahahaha... Oh Yoda, you're so cruel.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (8:01 AM) : 

Back in the ole Army days, I knew some soldiers who would send one female all around the base for a box of grid squares. She'd run from office to office asking for them.

Grid squares are lines on a map.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:08 AM) : 

Heyyy !!! Whats wrong with a little extra weight, makes a person look more prominent.

Of course, some people just cant handle the pressure of the sexy football shape .


Blogger Bip said ... (9:27 AM) : 

Hmmm Maybe he should just look for dehydrated water. I must be healthier.


Blogger flu said ... (10:12 AM) : 

Now I understand why you are the Master, Master Yoda.

Jon, we always sent the newbie on the airstrip to get us a bucket of propwash. Propwash is the blue fiery exhaust from a jet engine.

One time, a lady in the office asked me to listen to the knocking her car made... I told her it sounded like a set of her muffler bearings were going out. There was much interoffice debate regarding the validity of my comment. She ended up very skeptical of my diagnosis, having been convinced by others that there was no such thing as a muffler bearing. She took it to the shop to have the noise checked out. I knew a mechanic there, and had a little more fun with her by having him confirm that her left muffler bearings were indeed shot. The look on her face as she received the call was priceless.

ahhhh, good times.


Anonymous wedge antillies said ... (10:29 AM) : 

I would keep an eye on Mr. Windu. Going without food for any lenght of time will probably make him crazier than he already is. Or better yet, get him a guest spot on Oprah. Let him explain to her how you need to be thin to be pretty. That would be a real knee-slapper!


Blogger frozentear said ... (1:14 PM) : 

Why did you do that?... That's... nasty.


Blogger Jason said ... (1:54 PM) : 

hmm master yoda you seem to be pulling an awful lot of mean pranks these days, perhaps you should give yourself a darkside check...


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:39 PM) : 

Definately a little on the dark side that prank was.


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (5:54 PM) : 

Hey, at least it's not as painful as a Force Wedgie.


Blogger Mace Windu said ... (6:03 PM) : 

You were just trying to get me back for when I made you think you were giant by refurnishing your room with barbie furniture!


Blogger Repto_banzaar said ... (6:44 PM) : 

-laughs at what windu said- ...okay I HAD to laugh, I'm sorry. omg lol


Blogger Nic said ... (7:49 PM) : 

LOLOLOLMAO! That is one of the funniest posts I've read in a while! I was howling. What an awful prank to pull, but it was good for a few laughs!


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