Windu and His Weight
|The other day, a sneaky thing we did. Yes, quite sneaky, Kenobi, Young Skywalker and I were. You see, when out Windu was, his full-length mirror we took out of his room. With one of those fun house mirrors that look fat it makes you, we replaced it. Hee Hee!|
A worried look on his face he had when out of his room he came that morning. The first person he spoke to, Kenobi was.
"Tell me the truth, man, does my butt look big to you?" he said.
Pleased with this question, Kenobi did not seem. "I ain't lookin' at no nother feller's butt!" he started to say, but instead what he said this was, "Well, I didn't want to say nuthin, but it does seem a little bigger'n usual."
"What?!" A cow Windu almost had. "Oh, no, no, no! This will not stand! I must maintain my prettiness!"
"Going where are you?" I asked, "Coming down to breakfast you are not?"
"No time. I have to maintain The Pretty! I'm going down to run a couple of laps around the Temple."
The next day, a mirror that even fatter makes a person look, we snuck in his room. Heard coming from his room, a girlish shriek could be.
Over the course of the last week, tinkered with his bathroom scale we have. Now, several pounds it adds. Also, replaced all of his robes with much smaller ones we have.
Today, on the elevator we all got. Like stuck it was, I acted. "Wait," I said, "a weight limit it has."
At Windu we all looked. Off of the elevator he got. Then the button I pushed so up it went. Hee hee hee!
Always sweaty from constant exercise he is now. Jumping jacks during Council meetings he does. Taking a "spinning" class he is. Know what that was I did not. That dizzy you would get from that, I thought. Then, what it is Windu explained to me. Need to take a class to learn to ride and exercise bike, why would anyone? No sense that makes.
But the best thing, his diet is. Down to a diet of water and Tic Tacs, he is. But mess with him more I had to.
"Fat free water are you drinking, Windu?"
"What?! Isn't all water fat free?"
"Say 'fat free' on the label, does it?"
"Then fat free it must not be."
"Holy Mother of Jabba! I might as well have been drinking some kind of fat-juice this whole time! I'm going to go buy some fat free water right now!"
Still looking he is. Imagine the look on the clerks' faces I can, when 'fat free' water he asks for! Hee hee hee hee!
I think a pang of guilt I just felt. No wait. Indigestion that was.