Take How Much Humiliation Can I?

So to the convenience store on the corner to get Yaddle's feminine products I went yesterday. Doing that I hate. So humiliating it is. Anyway, determined not to be recognized I was, but for some reason uncomfortable my little disguise made Asok, the cashier: "Oh, no, no, no," the clerk said, "Please do not shoot me, sir! I will gladly give you all the money in the cash register!" "No," I said, "A stick-up this is n-" "Yes, yes. I completely understand. Please, take the cash and go!" To convince him that holding him up I was not, I tried. But work it did not. Finally, the store I left. But as walking out the door I was, suddenly surrounded by cops I found myself. Apparently, hit some kind of panic button, Asok had. "Put down the cane, and put your hands in the air!" one of them yelled. Pointing their blasters at me they were. "A misunderstanding this is!" I said. "I said, put the cane down, now!" My 'dangerous weapon' I put down and my hands I put up. To handcuff me one of the officers tried. But I decided that use the Jedi Mind trick on him I would. My hand I waved. "A mistake this is," I said, "Been committed here, no crime has. Let me go you will." "Sir, are you going to cooperate," the officer asked, "or am I going to have to get out my Tazer?" Ok, Plan B. "A mistake this is. Been committed here no crime has. Let me go you will." "This is a mistake," the cop said, "No crime has been committed here. You're free to go." But still, Yaddle's feminine products I had not bought. So to a different store I went. This time, no mask I used. I hoped that maybe get in and out of there quickly I could. Crowded the store was. Discreet I tried to be when up to the counter I went. "Excuse me," I whispered, "the kind with the wings these are?" "I don't know," the man behind the counter said, then loudly he yelled to someone in the back of the store, "Hey Larry, are these the Maxis with the wings?" "No!" I said, "Shhh!" Looking at me everyone was. "Yeah," he kept yelling, "this little guy right wants to know." "Hey," one of the customers said, "aren't you Master Yoda?" "No, no. Yoda I am not. Just like him I look. A common mistake that is." "Hey everybody, it's Master Yoda of the Jedi Council!" My worst nightmare this was turning out to be. Finally, the product I bought. That my humiliation was over, I figured. But outside the door, paparazzi were waiting. This picture they snapped: On the cover of the National Inquisitor it will be. I think just shoot myself I will.