Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Smiting, Blindness, and Windu

Today, the planet Alderaan, the Separatists' droid army attacked. To help stop their invasion, Windu and I went. Going well it was. Smiting down droids left and right I was. "The Zone" I was in - the "Smiting Zone".

But then, over to me Windu yelled, "Yoda, you take the left flank, I'll take the right."

Know what that means, Windu does not. In a movie he heard that. Anyway, to respond I turned and...

"AAAAAAAAAH!!" I yelled, "My eyes! My eyes! Blind I am!"

The first rule of Jedi combat I forgot - ever look directly at Windu's head on a sunny day you must not. That rule, every Youngling knows. Believe that I forgot that, I can not. But the price for it I paid. Now, blind I was and surrounded by droids I was!

Trying to depend on the Force I was so that keep myself from being shot I could. Swinging my lightsaber all over, deflecting blaster shot after blaster shot I was. But depend solely on the Force, a Jedi can not.

"Ow! Watch where you're swinging that thing!" Windu say, I heard. Come to help me he had. Ever thought that relieved to hear Windu's voice I would be, I did not.

Returned by the time we got back to the Jedi Temple, my sight had. Still, sore my eyes were. The council decided that wear a hat during combat, Windu must from now on. At first, happy about that he was not. Then, into it he got, especially after I told him that have to wear my John Deere cap he would not. Instead, what he chose, this was:








"No, Windu," I said, "A good look for you that is not."

"Why?! I'm trying to express my inner self. Maybe you just can't deal with that!"

"A pimp, your inner self is?"

"I can't talk to you!" Windu said then off in another little hissy fit he stormed.

Sometimes I think from himself, Windu needs saving.

Comments on "Smiting, Blindness, and Windu"

 

Blogger Noel of Neptonian said ... (2:27 AM) : 

I love the hat!!!

 

Blogger General Grievous said ... (3:44 AM) : 

What's it with Jedi and hats?

*cough*

 

Blogger Commando: Rage said ... (3:45 AM) : 

It's so much harder for the clones, sir. The helmets have magnification elements that are unusable near Master Windu, or we will go permanently blind.

 

Blogger Jar Jar Binks said ... (6:00 AM) : 

Mesa liken hissen taste!

 

Blogger Captain Berk said ... (7:52 AM) : 

Your alien friend fails to see that whatever hat he chooses should be considerate of political and diplomatic relations with other cultures.

'Pimping' is not one those consideration.

Try a forward roll/karate chop attack on him, and he'll soon see that wide brimed monstrosity would be better replaced by a beenie hat.

 

Blogger Jason said ... (9:00 AM) : 

I say you seak up on him in the middle of the night and coat his head in indian ink or permanent black marker...hehehehehe

 

Blogger Serra said ... (9:27 AM) : 

I'd be happy to knit Windu something purty...I see him in a chullo hat (tight to the skull, with ear flaps and little ties to hold it on), perhaps in mauve.

 

Anonymous redheadwithbedhead said ... (10:14 AM) : 

Happy Thanksgiving Yoda!!!

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (2:32 PM) : 

He needs to get a suit made of the same material.

 

Anonymous JabbaFatboy said ... (3:37 PM) : 

On Master Yodas Head that hat I would Like to see.

 

Blogger Korkuss said ... (6:21 PM) : 

OMG! Well, at least it matches with his lightsaber. Happy Thanksgiven day Master Yoda.

 

Blogger Obi-Wan Kenobi said ... (8:05 PM) : 

Shame on him fer agreein to hide that gorgeous sparkley scalp!

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (10:46 PM) : 

Who's the black private jedi
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
MACE!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
MACE!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
MACE!
Right On!

They say this cat MACE is a bad mother -
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout MACE.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
MACE WINDU!

 

Blogger Shaak Ti said ... (1:36 AM) : 

Weeee. Mace your dumb... Anywho, Yoda, or Bill is it? Could you put my name in the star wars unplugged members thing? I'll put your name on my blog. But I did connect everyone, I think i should have some credit.. lol thanks.

-Ti

 

Blogger pastamasta said ... (12:40 PM) : 

Surely a hat that awful is a potent weapon of itself? Any enemy combatant seeing it is bound to fall over helplessly coughing and retching, enabling you to decapitate them neatly with your lightsaber/round them up and take them prisoner/read poetry at them, as you choose.

 

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