Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Kenobi In Trouble

A phone call I got tonight. From Kenobi it was.

"Master? Uh, I'm in a little trouble."

"Kenobi? Where you are?"

"I'm in jail."

"What?! Doing what there you are?!"

"It ain't my fault! I swear! I was just in Sporty Sports Bar watchin' wrasslin on the TV there, and this one drunk feller started carryin' on about how wrasslin is fake and all. So I just thought, you know, I'd show him some wrasslin' moves just to prove it ain't fake. So all I did was body slam him and put him in a choke-hold and whatnot, that's all. Then the police come and they arrested me for assault! But I wasn't fightin' or nuthin', I swear!"

"Hold on, Kenobi. Be right there I will."

To the jail Windu and I rushed. Finally, the desk where bail they arrange, we found.

"Please," I asked the lady there, "what I have to do to get Kenobi out, tell me. Do anything I will. Pay anything I will. Like a son to me he is."

"That will be 12,000 credits."

"What?! Rot in there he can!"

"Yoda!" Windu said. "We can't just let him stay in there, man! That's not right!"

"How much money on you, have you?"

"I have 25 credits in my checking account."

"Good! Only 11,975 credits more we need!"

"Ok, ok. But what about the Order's petty cash account? We have enough there."

"Fine, but if to pay for Kenobi's bail we use the money, get that ice cream machine for the Temple cafeteria we can not."

"Ooh. Well, maybe you're right, man. I mean it won't hurt him to stay in jail for a night or two."

"Then agreed we are."

"Wait! It just occurred to me, the person behind the desk is female!"

"So?"

"Well, look at me, man! They haven't made a woman who can resist the Mace Windu prettiness! All I have to do..."

"No, Windu. Whatever thinking you are, no."

"Nah, it'll be fine! You'll see! I'll just work my charms around her and she will be puddy in my hands, man! Just watch."

Turn out well this can not, to myself I thought.

Up to the desk he sauntered. Then, on it he leaned. "So," Windu said to the lady, "how about I take you out and let you sample some Mace Windu sweetness?"

At him she smiled. "Come closer, baby."

Back at me Windu looked and winked. Then closer he leaned.

"So," the lady asked, "what did you say your name was? Mace, was it? How appropriate."

Then this little spray bottle she whipped out and directly into Windu's face she sprayed.

"Aaaaaaaah!!!!" Windu yelled, "Aaaaah! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!"

Great. Kenobi in jail, and now a screaming Windu on my hands I had.

Tomorrow - The Trial of Obi-Wan Kenobi

******

His 100th post, Jar Jar has done! Good job, Jar Jar!

Comments on "Kenobi In Trouble"

 

Blogger Serra said ... (11:37 PM) : 

It's good that you left Kenobi there. Perhaps he'll learn two things:

1. Jedi Masters are registered in this Galaxy as lethal weapons and can't be body-slamming just anyone.

2. Wrasslin' isn't precisely fake, but it's not a spontaneous brawl either.

 

Blogger frozentear said ... (2:21 AM) : 

It really wasn't his fault. The 'wrasslin' is fake' dude didn't even know how to wrassle'.
He should have been more severely punished than body-slammed for not having solid arguments to his statements, mwahahaha.

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (6:06 AM) : 

I think Kenobi's best defense at this point is to plead insanity. Let him talk to the jury for a few minutes. They'll buy it.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (8:33 AM) : 

I'm with the Professor, go for the insanity plea. You need a good lawyer though, is Lionel Hutz or Rob Loblaw available?

 

Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said ... (9:25 AM) : 

I can only imagine what mace will do to Windu's skin. Hey...I just realized that he is named after a substance that is used to ward off attackers!

 

Blogger frozentear said ... (11:00 AM) : 

d'oh:
"what did you say your name was? Mace, was it? How appropriate."

 

Anonymous wedge antillies said ... (11:01 AM) : 

Gee, Mr. Yoda, that is a tough situation. Are you sure that tomorrow is the trial? or just a hearing to set the charges? Listen, if you need help with the bail, I have a cousin on Corsecant who is a bail bondsman. I also have another cousin who can loan you some money, but the interest is pretty steep.

 

Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said ... (12:00 PM) : 

Oh wow,
I might be able to bake him a pan of Cheeto brownies, that, like, he likes so much, and leave his lightsabre in it...
Though I did that one year for his birthday...
And all he got out of it was a nice scar on his belly when, like, the healers had to open him up to get it out.
QGJ

 

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (1:32 PM) : 

Oh snap. But oh, I totally liz-ayed waste to a laywer last week and grabbed his diploma or whatev, so I'm totally all about mountin a kickin defense.

 

Blogger flu said ... (1:53 PM) : 

You rushed?

...to bail out Kenobi?

Master Yoda... I don't get it... if you leave him there, you get your TV back, and he gets to wrassle big hairy sweaty guys all he wants... it's like a win-win scenario...

 

Blogger flu said ... (1:55 PM) : 

oh, btw, we tried using that secret weapon you gave us against Tater today.

it didn't go so well...

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:05 PM) : 

Keep him in the slammer! Send him to the Big House!

Be sure to see my Enterprise party Invite on my Journal to find our how you can join in!

 

Blogger Shaak Ti said ... (9:03 AM) : 

That is what mace gets when he tries to flirt with OTHER girls.

-ti

 

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