Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Point of Truth












A point there comes during every Youngling's training when an important realization he or she comes to. Today, for the entire class this point came. An important truth they all realized.

"Hey, Master Yoda, I'm taller than you now!"

I hate it when this point comes. "Yes, yes. Getting so big you are. Proud you must be. Get on with your lesson now we must..."

"Hey, I'm taller than you, too, Master Yoda!"

"Ok, good for you that is. Much to accomplish before recess we have..."

"Master Yoda! Um, can I stand back-to-back with you? I wanna see how much taller than you I am!"

"No, time for that we have not..."

"Master Yoda, are you so short 'cause you're so old? 'Cause my grandma is really old and she said she shrunk a lot of inches. And she did, 'cause she's really really short. But not as short as you, though, Master Yoda."

"A nice story that was. This height, all of my people are. Now, get back let us to..."

"Did you smoke a lot? 'Cause I heard that will, uh, stub your growth."

"Smoke I do not. The normal height for my species I am. Time to concentrate it is..."

"Is it because you're an alcaholic? 'Cause lots of beer will make you short too.

"An alcoholic I am not! Put such an idea in your head who did?"

"Master Yoda! Master Yoda! Um, did you work in the circus before you became a Jedi? 'Cause my Dad took me to the circus this one time, and, um, there was this sideshow and like all these little people and there was a lady with a beard too, and a real fat lady, and anyways they had a bunch of really short people like you. So I was wondering if you were in the circus before."

"No. Worked for the circus I did not."

"How come? Didn't you like the circus, Master Yoda?"

"Never worked for the circus I have!"

"Did they make you clean up after the elephants?"

"Listen! Never worked for the circus I have! Now, back to the lesson..."

"Master Yoda, are you the shortest person who ever lived?"

"Ok, enough that is. Want me to ground you, do you? Ready for more time-outs are you?"

Quiet for a little while that made them. A vacation I need.


***********
Voted overwhelmingly for updating my "Greatest Hits" post you have. (Like to thank everyone who participated I would) So update it I will. A few days from now, present you with another big poll where choose your favorite from the last 100 posts you can.

As for you people who for the third choice voted, see it you cannot but mooning you I am. Right that is. Sticking my naked green tushy in your direction I am. A comedian my Stupid Intern thinks he is since in there he put that question. In a few minutes, be laughing he will not.

Comments on "Point of Truth"

 

Blogger Jedi Katt said ... (6:06 AM) : 

Ew... I never asked tht kind of stupid question when I was small --- tht's too obvious.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (8:27 AM) : 

You need some more shorter Jedis.

 

Anonymous redheadwithbedhead said ... (10:09 AM) : 

Master Yoda, do not worry about being shorter than younglings. Shorter that me, my sister is. 14 years older than me she is!!!!!!

Growing like a weed those younglings are.............

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (10:27 AM) : 

Hey Master Yoda, I'm taller then ya. Does that mean I'm now a jedi padawan too?
Woo-HOO!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:33 AM) : 

JJ,

If the only criteria that was, then everybody a Padawan would be.

 

Anonymous Padawan Patty said ... (11:05 AM) : 

Mater Yoda, It's great being short. Think of all the good things that you can get like:

1- Kids eat free pizza on Tuesday's at Planet Pizzeria.

2- Kids pay half for movie tickets. Of course only PG movies.

3- Kids get to wear the cutest outfits that big people can't wear.

4- Going to bed at 8pm. That is not that fun!

Oops. Have to go or else I could get my second detention for this week.

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (11:07 AM) : 

You are not short. You are vertically challenged. There's a big difference, I'm told.

 

Anonymous wedge antillies said ... (11:16 AM) : 

So, Mr. Yoda, exactly what speicies are you? I am not being xenophobic, because we do have several different speicies of pilots here in the Republic's space force. THe only real criteria is to fit in the cockpit fo an x-wing and be able too reach the pedals. Soooo, I guess that is why you became a Jedi?

 

Blogger Nic said ... (12:38 PM) : 

A person should not be measured by their body size, but by the size of their heart and spirit. I'm sure you have plenty of that, right Master Yoda?

 

Blogger flu said ... (1:12 PM) : 

You shouldn't let those young punkawans talk to you like that Master Yoda! Stand up to them for a change!

Oh, you were standing?

nevermind

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:19 PM) : 

Wedge Antilles,

Answered in this post, your question about my species is.

 

Anonymous Mara said ... (8:23 PM) : 

Perhaps I should have written this comment on today's post, and not yesterday's. Repost:

First of all, let me say that I voted no to changing the top 10 list. Let me explain - I didn't see the "what does it matter" part until after. Also, I think you should do a top ten out of every hundred posts, and when you get to say 500, do a top ten of that. You see, it's layers upon layers.

 

Blogger Repto_banzaar said ... (8:48 PM) : 

..I'm taller than you Master Yoda. :D

 

Blogger Jason said ... (9:18 PM) : 

Hey Master Yoda, Being tall aint exactly fun either. If your really tall then you tend to bang your head off of low hanging lights and signs, not mention door frames *rubs bruised shiny dome* I think I might have to do the unthinkable and ask windu on how he manages to avoid all the low signs in the temple. My dome is starting to bruise...

 

Blogger Jason said ... (9:35 PM) : 

If you want to eat somewhere where people wont comment on your hieght Master Yoda, I've just opened a new steak house :)

http://jasoncyrusblog.blogspot.com/2005/11/no-respect-take-out-blues.html

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:56 PM) : 

Mara,

Actually, my plan that is (top 10 out of every 100). Clear about that I was not because at the time, sure what I would do I was not.

 

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