Thursday, January 26, 2006

Chewbacca On TV

Today, an email from Chewbacca I received. On TV he was going to be, it said. Actually, more like, "Mworrrrrrr!! Wuarrrr! Mwar?" it was. Fortunately, fluent in Wookiee I am.

Anyway, very excited he was, so to tune in I agreed. Unfortunately, this Doofus I saw:

"Hi. I'm Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter, and today I'm in a really dangerous place called Kashyyyk! I'm here because I'm going to pull some actual hair from an actual Wookiee! Why? Because it's really stupid and I've got oatmeal for brains!

"These beautiful creatures can grow to be over 7 feet tall! But don't let their good looks fool ya! One of these beauties could easily tear a man's arm right off! If you see a Wookiee, don't go near it - unless you're an overrated zookeeper desperate for attention, like me!

"Crikey! There's a Wookiee right over there! What a beauty! It looks like he's performing the Wookiee resting ritual called 'chillin'. This is the perfect time for me to go up and grab a big old handful of his hair!

"Blimey! What a smell! This big fella really stinks a lot! I've never smelled anything so bad!

"Well, no time like the present! I'll just reach over and grab me a handful of this beastie's hair!

"It just so happens it's Bring Your Baby to Your Insanely Dangerous Job Day! I think the little fella is almost as excited as I am! Well, here goes!

"AAAAAHHH!!! Crikey! Me arm! That's not gonna grow back! AAAAHHH!!! Me face! AAAAHH!!! Blimey he bites hard! OWW!! Crikey, it hurts!! It's a good thing the baby got away! I never knew he could crawl so fast! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!..."

Entertaining this turned out to be. Of course, excited to be on TV, Chewie was. After the show, me he called. Wondering if maybe he could turn himself into a celebrity because of this, he was. "Mwarrrr oowarrr Omarosa, ruaarrrrr!" he said.

Know I do not, Chewie. Much meaner than that, Omarosa was. Next time, more brutal you will have to be.

Comments on "Chewbacca On TV"


Blogger Vegeta said ... (3:11 AM) : 

Thar crocidile hunting freak tried the same thing with me once I'm surprised to see he can walk again.


Blogger NandeHi said ... (6:52 AM) : 

Master Yoda - perhaps Chewie can help Obi-wan eat his veggie's. I bet he could force feed him. :)


Blogger Jango Fett said ... (8:01 AM) : 

Obi-Wan might feed him Cheetos if no one is looking...


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:10 AM) : 

That's too funny. Did Chewie beat Steve over the head with his ripped off arm? I'd pay money to see that.


Blogger Vampirella said ... (9:30 AM) : 

awww poor steve

(hiding her laughter LOL)

really I feel so bad for poor steve


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:52 AM) : 

Yeah, reality TV has gone a bit too far, although this was very entertaining. Sort of like the Darwin Awards caught on vid, or Evil Kanevel from down-under.

As for Steve, I am sure that he will find someone to re-attach his face and arm. If you managed to catch the show on your TiVo, would you send me a copy?


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (11:16 AM) : 

Some people learn by reading, some people learn by doing. And then some people just never learn at all


Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (2:25 PM) : 

(In a Steve Irwin accent)
"Blimey! That was one ripper of a show! Crikey! It sure was entertaining!"


Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (2:27 PM) : 

P.S. I think Yoda nicked the idea of a Wookiee beating up a celeb off my blog!


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (2:32 PM) : 

Well, on the Internet, copying and pasting has become the sincerest form of flattery.


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (2:50 PM) : 

Chewie definately would win 'Big Brother'


Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (2:56 PM) : 

Hmm, funny you should mention that Jon, perhaps on the internet it is, but in the land of academia, it still get's your bum kicked out of school, and rightly so.


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (3:04 PM) : 

Lt. Cmdr: stealing from one is Plagiarisms, stealing from many is research


Anonymous Darth PatMatticus said ... (3:06 PM) : 

Chewie may not be as mean as Omarosa, but Trump wouldn't dare fire him.


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (3:27 PM) : 

Jaina, Read your post yet, I had not.


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (3:34 PM) : 

...And "nick" people's ideas I do not!!


Blogger Obi-Wan Kenobi said ... (3:53 PM) : 

Hope that feller gets his face stuck pn again. Ought to be mighty embarrassin, goin round with no face.


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (4:50 PM) : 

Forget those other shows. I would love to see Chewie on the Sureal Life. Let's see what happens Bronson Pinchot tries to squeeze his butt!


Blogger Jabafatboy said ... (9:16 PM) : 

Better lookin than amarosa too!!!


Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (9:11 PM) : 

LOLOLOL this was really hilarious!


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