Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Short I Am Not

Short, Kenobi calls me. Short I am not! Officially, in the Republic, according to the average height for all sentient beings, considered short, anyone 2' 1'' or below is. Well, 2' 2" I am! So short I am not! (Of course, some say skewed the average is because included in the mix, my people, Ewoks, and Jawas are. But my fault that is not.)

Besides, among my people, considered tall I am. No, true it is! Stop laughing, Young Skywalker! Always pressured to be on the basketball team in school I was. Always asking me, "Up there, the weather how is?" my friends were. Too original my friends were not.

But considered so tall in the rest of the Galaxy I am not. Getting tired of the short jokes, I am. A credit I wish I had for every time someone said to me, "Yoda, stand up you should. Oh, sorry I am. Standing up you are!" Then, laugh hysterically at themselves they will, like the first person ever to say that, they are. Doofuses.

Walk through the park without some youngling trying to take me home, I can not. "But I'll take good care of him! I promise I'll feed him every day!" they tell their parents.

"Get away from it!" their parents say. "You don't know what it's rolled around in!"

Usually, the Force-wedgie Family Combo I bestow upon them at that point.

________________________________

Forget the contest, do not. A new template for my blog, I had my Stupid Intern build. But look right in Internet Explorer it does not!

Fine in Mozilla Firefox it looks. But too big the font looks when viewed in Internet Explorer.

Also, show up on the permalink for each post page, the comments do not.

See the template here you can.

So, if track down one or both of these bugs and tell me how to fix them you can, win the usual crappy prizes you will (an autographed picture and Gmail invite).

Comments on "Short I Am Not"

 

Blogger Jedi Katt said ... (12:06 AM) : 

I think you should report the case of your people to the Republic Officials, and ask them to make the average of short even shorter *nod seriously* I can help you taking the form, it's on a table of 2'7".

 

Blogger Vegeta said ... (1:41 AM) : 

I feel your pain. At 5'3 it was hard being teamed with a 7 foot bald weirdo. I guess it's better now I'm teamed up with a 6 foot something with funny hair and a t least 2 people shorter than I am. You'll feel better if you find some smurfs.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (6:33 AM) : 

You're not short Master Yoda, you're just altitudally challenged.

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (8:25 AM) : 

who says master yoda is short? who say our mighty tiny-err i only said mighty.

 

Blogger Florida Voter said ... (10:25 AM) : 

Interesting. I just watched Ep III on DVD and was wondering how you reached the controls on that escape pod you took from Chewie?

 

Anonymous wedge antilies said ... (10:44 AM) : 

If your legs were as long as your lightsaber, Mr. Yoda, you would be playing for the NBA. I have noticed that Kenobi is not that tall for a human. Anyway, I do sympathize. I am not that tall either. If you are over 5 feet 10 inches, you cannot fit into the cockpit of an x-wing.

But, as we both know, what we loose in height, we have made up for in good looks!

 

Blogger flu said ... (11:54 AM) : 

Master Yoda, you voice would carry further and more people would be able to take note of your plight if you would just stand up while spewing these tirades.

 

Blogger F.O.O.F. said ... (5:24 PM) : 

Oh Boy! A job!!
Hey, we got a sledgehammer some duct tape and an oil can. We can fix anything!
We’ll be right over to fix your tin plate and kill all those nasty bugs.
Eh…you ain’t allergic to formaldehyde, are you?

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (6:08 PM) : 

Now Master Yoda, as you know, space like motion is relative. Space is quantifiable. One measure is along the altitude axis. Your height now relative to what your was 600 years ago, is undoubtable much less than it was. Therefore, compared to yourself, you do come up short, I'm afraid.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:01 PM) : 

Professor X,
A flaw in your theory there is - Shorter than I am, all of my relatives are.

FOOF,
Have to see your union card I will before any work I approve.

 

Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (10:38 PM) : 

If you compare yourself to mice, you'll feel like a giant, so... don't worry.... shortness is a relative condition

 

Blogger Nic said ... (11:26 AM) : 

Master Yoda, have you tried experimenting with your widths on the template? I had similar problems with mine until I found the right width ratio for the left, center and right. Then you have to adjust your "goodies" accordingly to fit within the widths you have specified so that they do not overlap.

It was a relatively simple fix for me, but one that took me a while to figure out. Hope this helps you. If it works, don't worry about the gmail invite - I have about 300 of them myself to give out. LOL!

 

Anonymous A Wookiee in Disguise said ... (9:03 PM) : 

Gosh, Master Yoda. How short were your classmates?

 

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