Thursday, October 27, 2005

Help Not Wanted

A vacancy on the Jedi Council we have. To fill it soon we must. A "suggestion" Chancellor Palpatine had.

Harriet MiersHarriet Miers

"Uh, usually Chancellor, an actual Jedi we appoint to the Council."

"Oh, I know. But this woman is the most qualified person I can find."

To interview this person I agreed.

"So, any experience with lightsabers have you?"

"No. I'm afraid not. Is that important?"

"Well,..."

"Oh, you mean those flashlight thingies you use?"

"Yes."

"No. I don't have any experience with one of those."

"Ever used the Force have you?"

"I don't use drugs."

"A drug the Force is not."

"Oh."

"Any training in the Jedi ways you have?"

"No, but I wear Jedi's at home when I'm gardening."

"No, about Jedi's I am talking, not Levi's."

"Oh, then no."

"Ever used the Mind Trick, have you?"

"No."

"Lifted a heavy object with your mind?"

"No."

"Given a Force-wedgie to anyone have you?"

"No. But that sounds like fun."

"Well, like to thank you for your interest I would. At this time, a fit for the Council you are not. But keep your application on file we will."

"Why? Is it my political beliefs?"

"What? No, important that is not..."

"Is it those speeches I gave twenty years ago?"

"No. About what speeches you are talking..."

"You want me to hand over those private memos between the Chancellor and me, don't you? Well, I'm not giving them to you. You can forget about that. In fact, I'm just going to withdraw my application!"

"Listen, know what you are talking about I do not. Hire you we can not, because experience you have not!"

"Typical. Just throw the 'experience card' at me, why don't you? This is the same thing they told me when I applied for that position as a brain surgeon!"

"Know that a medical degree you have, I did not."

"I don't, but what's that got to do with anything?"

Comments on "Help Not Wanted"

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (7:55 AM) : 

Too funny. Maybe she is qualified to be a rocket scientist or a physicist or chemical engineer or fighter pilot or rock star or tree surgeon or a rocket surgeon or a tree sturgeon or a zoologist or an ichtheologist or a history professor or a inflight missle repair specialist or an Intergalactic Gladiator.


But I doubt it.

 

Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said ... (9:17 AM) : 

In my defense of my nomination, I would like to say that she bakes up a mean set of chocolate chip cookies.

O, and she really likes Dolly Parton...{wink, wink}

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (10:22 AM) : 

Experience she may not have, but she did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

 

Blogger Captain Typho said ... (10:40 AM) : 

Too funny!

By the way, have you noticed the resemblance between Miers and the Chancellor?

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (10:53 AM) : 

politics...*sigh*

 

Blogger Captain Berk said ... (11:53 AM) : 

I hired this lady for a brief time, but she repeatedly failed to comply with uniform regulations.

I tried to discipline her, but she was unwilling.

I had to dismiss her.

Dishonourably.

 

Blogger flu said ... (12:07 PM) : 

Hey, I submitted an application months ago but haven't heard back from anyone!

Oh, wait, my application wasn't for Jedi Council seat, it was for New Jedi Order Founder.

nevermind.

Uh, wait again, could you confirm receipt for me? thx

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (2:30 PM) : 

Young Starbucker,

Uh, yes, your application... around here somewhere it is... worry not, find it I will.

One thing though, a problem confirming your employment history we have. Ever heard of you at Dunkin Donuts, they have not.

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:22 PM) : 

She might turn out to be the best applicant you get.

By the way...who is she?

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (9:34 PM) : 

So there's an opening on the council, eh? Who do I send my resume to?

 

Blogger Nic said ... (11:52 PM) : 

Brilliantly handled Master Yoda! A true master interviewer you are...n't.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:01 AM) : 

Captain Picard,

Who that woman is this link kind of explains.

Google "Harriet Miers" you can.

 

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (3:03 AM) : 

So.... that's a 'no' on my applicization?

An she really do look like Palps. weeeeeiiiiird.

 

Blogger Mulder said ... (8:43 PM) : 

I am watching Harriet Miers, she looks Alien like, "The Truth is out there!"

 

Blogger Jar Jar Binks said ... (4:47 PM) : 

Psh.

Hired mesa you shouldsa.

CRUSHSA THE RACISM AGAINSTSA GUNGANS, CRUSHA CRUSH!

Opps. Sorrysa for that littlesa outburst.

 

Anonymous A Wookiee in disguise said ... (9:13 PM) : 

I wonder if her and Palpatine are related...

 

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