Thursday, October 06, 2005

Planet Florida

Been studying this planet called "Florida", I have. A puzzle it is. It seems that many ways to die there, there is.

Safe in the water you are not. Regularly eaten by sharks, this race of people called "surfers" are.

Safe outside on the land you are not. Odds are, struck by lightning you will be.

Safe in your own neighborhood you are not. Every day, come out of a pond and carry someone off from their own backyard, an alligator will.

Safe anywhere on Planet Florida you are not during the summer, because hit by several hurricanes you will be.

Live on this planet why would anyone?!! Maybe leave the planet, many can not. I know that enslaved by a very rich and powerful mafia boss known only as "Mickey the Mouse", many Floridians are.

Several years ago, stranded on Planet Florida a youngling named Elian Gonzalez was. Brought there by magical dolphins or something he was. Know I do not. Something amazing he must have done. Otherwise, pay him so much attention that whole planet would not have. Anyway, to keep him on the planet many Floridians actually fought! It seems to me that safer on his home planet away from the lightning/alligators/sharks, he would have been.

But, live on this planet why would anyone else? Maybe so alluring the native females are, that bring themselves to leave, the men can not?

Hmm, no, be the reason that can not.

Maybe smart enough to leave, these people are not. After all, trouble with simple counting they have. Especially hard for them, the counting of votes is. Two or three times it takes them before right they get it. Even then, sure they are not.

Another question I have - with so much death on that planet, still growing why is the population? Perhaps with this race known as "retirees" the answer lies. Every winter, a spiritual pilgramage to this planet many old people from this race make. Often relocating there permantly they end up. Like to know who is tricking these old people into moving to this dangerous planet I would! Teach those con artists a lesson, I would! Hmph!

Comments on "Planet Florida"


Anonymous A random civilian said ... (12:07 AM) : 

Perhaps it's not a trick. Perhaps these retired folk are looking for a sense of danger and adventure. They aren't content with their lives as they are and decide that planet is a good place to keep themselves on their toes.


Blogger jedisiri said ... (6:37 AM) : 

master yoda don't be so angry,it's not good for your body.*giggle*


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (7:50 AM) : 

While you're at it, you may want to investigate the Winebago salesmen as well.


Blogger Ruby-Flame said ... (11:40 AM) : 

Master Yoda,

I've often wondered the same things, and I'm also curious as to why people on Planet Louisianna would also continue to rebuild and rebuild every time a hurricane hits. Don't they learn anything from their mistakes? I think the problem doesn't lie with the planet, somehow...


Blogger Jen said ... (1:05 PM) : 

Master Yoda, don't forget their new "Shoot first, ask questions later" policy. Planet Florida is a very scary and dangerous place if the media is to be believed!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:57 PM) : 

Are you sure you like to know who tricked those old people to move to planet Florida!?!?!


Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:01 PM) : 

What are scarier; the crocs or the retired folk?


Blogger Adi Gallia said ... (5:04 PM) : 

Hey, you forgot the best thing about Florida! Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville!


Blogger Leia said ... (5:25 PM) : 

Maybe it has something to do with the oranges. Hoo hoo hoo! Ha ha ha!


Blogger flu said ... (5:42 PM) : 

Florida: America's dangling appendage.


Blogger Shira Brie said ... (7:00 PM) : 

But it's only in the winter time when most of the snow birds (a.k.a. old people) from this planet (where am I? Oh Yes, this planet to which I do call home) to planet Florida!!!


Blogger Shannon said ... (8:25 PM) : 

I think all those "girls gone wild" have something to do with it...


Anonymous A random civilian said ... (10:16 PM) : 

How would you know, Padmé? =P


Anonymous kayelisny said ... (8:03 PM) : 

Jean-Luc Picard -- the retired Folk are scarier. Trust me.


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