Monday, September 26, 2005

Cafeteria Food (The term "food" I use loosely.)

Like eating in the Jedi Temple cafeteria I do not. All of the cafeteria food, the government sends us. If prisoners we fed this food, considered torture it would be.

Prisoner: "You expect me to talk? Ha! You're gettin' nothin' outta me!"

Interrogator: "Oh yeah? How about we make you eat the stewed tomatoes from the cafeteria?"

Prisoner: "Oh God, no! I'll talk! I'll talk! Anything you want to know! Please, just keep those stewed tomatoes away from me!"

Today, dinner in the cafeteria I had. Something grey the lady in the hair net plopped on my tray. At it I looked. Completely shapeless it was. A special process the government has when food they package. Somehow able to extract all of the taste and shape from their food, so that recognize it you can not.

"Exactly what this is?" I asked the hair net lady.

"Barbecue chicken."

"Sure of that you are?"

"That's what it said on the can, Sweetie."

Always "sweetie" or "honey", lunch ladies call people, like related to us they are. But serve their own families this glop they would not. Also, maybe more appetizing the food might seem if a more pleasant sight, the average lunch lady were. But like everyone's Aunt Edna, most lunch ladies look. I think the law it is.

Of course, if exist the Temple cafeteria did not, contain the word "Beefaroni" my vocabulary would not. I suppose grateful for that I should be.

Comments on "Cafeteria Food (The term "food" I use loosely.)"


Anonymous Jedi Padawan Pinky said ... (10:37 PM) : 

Dont worry Yoda. I feel your pain. The food at my school isn't much better.


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:02 AM) : 

Something like that does not sound healthy... I'd get a petition going to get some real food in the Temple before you start turning INTO that stuff.


Blogger jedisiri said ... (12:55 AM) : 

wow sweetie!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:56 AM) : 

Master Yoda, in your story why do the Prisoner and Interrogator so funny talk?


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (7:44 AM) : 

Beefaroni is Beefarific


Blogger Haris said ... (7:47 AM) : 

I think that it is a secret and cunning plan by the government, the providor of the food to subjegate and break teh will of the jedi. If I was you further investigations into it I woudl have. If so smite the lunch lady for the sake of all of us who are forced to suffer.
P.S. Thanks for letting your intern drop by my blog and post, he was very kind and also my first non spam poster. Please be kind and allow him to come there again as I have updated it today with seven additional and I hope interesting posts.


Blogger Jedi Katt said ... (10:28 AM) : 

*sigh* I juz hope tht Master Tachi won't give me a punishment as... "Eat in the cafeteria for 10 days"... *sigh* I'd rather stay in the library... for 240 hours *lol*


Anonymous Judith said ... (10:54 AM) : 

I should have read this before breakfast. Now I have to keep from barfing.


Blogger Shannon said ... (11:15 AM) : 

The Senate cafeteria is no better. Something should be done about this! After all, we have a wonderful health club and then they serve us this... this... well, it's not fit for a Sith.


Blogger Draco-7 said ... (2:44 PM) : 

Hmm... grey mush that is described as "barbacue chicken"! STAY AWAY FROM THE CAFETERIA! THE FOOD HAS BEEN POISONED BY SHEEP!


Blogger flu said ... (5:09 PM) : 

Woke up in the morning.
Put on my new plastic glove.
Served some re-heated salsbury steak
With a little slice of love.
Got no clue what the chicken pot pie
Is made of.
Just know everything's doing fine
Down here in Lunch Lady Land.

Well, I wear this net on my head
'Cause my red hair is fallin' out.
I wear these brown orthopedic shoes
'Cause I got a bad case of the gout.
I know you want seconds on the corn dogs,
But there's no reason to shout.
Everybody gets enough food
Down here in Lunch Lady Land.

Well, yesterday's meatloaf
Is today's sloppy joes
And my breath reaks of tuna
And there's lots of black hairs comin' out of my nose.

In Lunch Lady Land, your dreams come true.
Clouds made of carrots and peas.
Mountains built of shepherd's pie
And rivers made of macaroni and cheese.
But don't forget to return your trays
And try to ignore my gum disease.
No student can escape
The magic of Lunch Lady Land.

Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Hogies and grinders.
Hogies and grinders.
Navy beans.
Navy beans.
Meatloaf sandwich.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Come on.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, Sloppy joe.

Well, ah, dreamt one mornin'
That I woke up to see
All the pepperoni pizza
Was a-lookin' at me.
It screamed, "Why do you
Burn me and serve me up cold?"
I said, "I got the spatula,
Just do what you're told."

Then the liver and onions
Started joinin' the fight
And the chocolate pudding
Pushed me with all its might
And the chop suey slapped me
And it kicked me in the head.
"It's called revenge, Lunch Lady,"
Said the garlic bread.

I said, "What did I do to
Make you all so mad?"
They said, "You got flabby arms
And your breath is bad."
Then the green bean said,
"You better run and hide."
But then my friend, sloppy joe,
Came and joined my side.

He said, "If it wasn't for the Lunch Lady,
The kids wouldn't eat ya.
You should be shakin' her hand and sayin'
'Please to meet ya.'
She gives you a purpose
And she give you a goal.
You should be kissin' her feet
And kissin' her mole."

Now, all the angry foods
Just leave me alone
And we all live together
In a happy home
Thanks to
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.
Come on.
Sloppy joe.
Slop, sloppy joe.

Well, me and sloppy joe got married.
We got six kids and we're doin' just fine
Down in Lunch Lady Land.


Blogger Jenn said ... (7:54 PM) : 

Mystery meat is from the dark side. I always knew this to be true. So are those icky green peas, oh, and that thing they call a crumble. Ick


Anonymous 2nd Padawan from the Right said ... (8:31 PM) : 

Master Yoda, the cafeteria food wouldn't be so bad if Master Kenobi didn't sneak in real early and suck all the jelly out of the donuts! We, the humble Padawans, would like to request that the Temple cafeteria install some really kewl vending machines ... you know, stuff that's really nutritious like, Ding Dongs, Snickers, and some Soda so that when we laugh something really neat can come outta our collective noses. Sugar would really make us more alert and happy when we have your Lightsaber class in the morning ... Sir.


Blogger Shaak Ti said ... (9:33 PM) : 

BeefaroniBeefaroni Beefaroni Beefaroni
Put the beef in the noodles and whaddya get?
BeefaroniBeefaroni Beefaroni Beefaroni


Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (9:46 PM) : 

Beefaroni is so sweet! Beefaroni's quite a treat... or sumthin. I dunno.


Blogger Master Yoda said ... (11:02 PM) : 

2nd Padawan from the Right - Need any more sugar you younglings do not. Bouncing off the walls already you are.


Blogger Ovaan said ... (11:46 PM) : 

Hope you added some of your hot sauce to the chicken might of made it a bit more interesing!


Blogger ki adi mundi said ... (3:45 PM) : 

beefaroni beefaroni,
it makes your eyes smart,
beefaroni beefaroni,
too much makes you fart.

I think we should form a rebellion against the cafeteria. Or go on a hunger strike. That way we won't have to eat the damn food (literally)


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