Tuesday, September 20, 2005

New Psychological Evaluation for Potential Jedi

Crazy Kenobi is. No, a clinical diagnosis that is not. But take a professional to tell that crazy, Kenobi is, it does not. Offered abundant evidence on this blog that nuttier than a pile of squirrel droppings, Kenobi is.

Some insight, Windu offered, "He's just searching for his inner prettiness is all. Maybe he needs someone to cry with. I know that helps me."

Finally, the voice of reason. Yeah, like all his marbles, Windu has. Sure. Things like sit in front of the mirror early in the morning so that they can see the sun rise over their head, lots of sane people do.

Seriously, start requiring potential Jedi to take psychological evaluations, we must. In fact, a written psychological evaluation test I had our resident Jedi psychologist write up. Below it is:


Psychological Evaluation for Potential Jedi

1. When you find a Cheeto on the floor, you
A) pick it up and throw it away
B) stick it in your beard "for later"
C) do the "Happy Dance"
D) get down on all fours and eat it right away

2. Spending more than seven hours a day on skin care is
A) a little excessive
B) quite reasonable
C) not nearly enough
D) a good amount as long as it doesn't interfere with proper scalp care

3. Professional wrestling is
A) fake
B) absolutely true
C) a fine art form
D) the coolest thing since sliced beer

4. A man fully in touch with his feminine side is
A) kind of creepy
B) desirable
C) a pretty man
D) depends, has he named his feminine side?

5. You wake up with the sniffles. So you
A) blow your nose and get on with your life
B) assume you have Legionnaire's Disease
C) check into the hospital and demand a round of blood tests and an MRI
D) start writing your last will and testament

6. Ernest Goes to Camp was
A) a silly movie
B) the finest movie ever made
C) a really funny movie, even if the plot was too complicated for me to follow
D) hey, don't say anything bad about Ernest, or you and me are going to have to fight

7. My armpit is
A) a part of my anatomy
B) a musical instrument
C) smelling like Cheetos right now for some reason
D) my friend. Say hello, Mr. Stinky!

8. I know I'm sane because
A) I make completely rational decisions at all times
B) the voices in my head tell me I am
C) there's no way a crazy person could belch like I can
D) I'm not crazy. Neither am I.


Help weed out the fruitcakes this should.

Comments on "New Psychological Evaluation for Potential Jedi"

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:26 AM) : 

C, D, C, D, D, C, C, B......

Do I pass. Can I be a Jedi?? It's been a life long dream...

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:00 AM) : 

Familiar these questions sound. Similar to questions on the US Visa formsa they are. Deal drugs do you? Terrorist are you? How manny persons killed have you? Quyestion the psychologist I would. Find out for the government worked has he. A spy from the chancelour he could be.

 

Blogger palps said ... (9:37 AM) : 

You forgot this question:

If you are going to arrest a Sith Lord do you:

a) Stand there and get cleaved in half
b) Show him your bald and properly mosturized head
c) Bring Oreo's to distract him
d) Run away and hide on Dagobah

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:57 AM) : 

Oh no, I'm not taking another psycholigical exam after what happened last time!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:33 AM) : 

palpatine: c!

do I win?

and standing there to get cleaved in half isn't a good idea, as is showing people your head. hiding on dagobah keeps you alive, but i don't think it is very effective.

 

Blogger fakies said ... (11:02 AM) : 

Are you sure some of those questions don't have more than one right answer? Uncertain I was on several of them.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:18 PM) : 

Interesting tast... I'm sure it will help

 

Blogger Draco-7 said ... (2:48 PM) : 

Lessee... C,C,B,A,B,D,D,D and the bonus number is 21.

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (2:48 PM) : 

This will certainly weed out the non-Cheetos loving Jedis.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:23 PM) : 

Do you grade on a curve?

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (6:33 PM) : 

Ooops....
Just caught that. I mean interesting TEST, not TAST.

sorry!!!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:19 PM) : 

Concerned I am about how so many of scored. Especially scary, Trinamick's desire to choose more than one answer is.

Young Skywalker,

No, thankfully. If the current Jedi we required to take this, have to be dismissed, half of the Order would be.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:21 PM) : 

I hate taking multiple choice tests ... it's so hard Master Yoda to pick out the right keys with your nose. If they'd just take off the freakin' restraints I am convinced I could be a Jedi too!

 

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