DMV Blues

Renew my driver's license the other day, I had to. A big hassle that is. Going to the DMV I hate. Up to the counter I went. "Excuse me, to renew my..." "Take a red number and sit over there," a lady said. "Want me to sit where, do you?" "Over there, right where I'm point... Where are you?" "Down here I am." Over the counter the lady leaned and at me she frowned. "Oh. Monkeys aren't allowed to have driver's licenses. Next." "A monkey I am not! Want a Force-wedgie do you?" "Alright. Then take a red number. We'll be right with you." A number I took. 435,852. Use a number more than once they do not, I thought. Then out the lady shouted. "Next is number 3. Who has number 3?" What?! A long day this would be. Fortunately, numbers 2,854 through 3,604 no one had. Unfortunately, keep the lady from calling out each of those numbers one-by-one, that did not. "Number 2,999. Does anyone have number 2,999? I said, 'does anyone have number 2,999?' Last call for 2,999... Number 3,000. Does anyone have number 3000... " AAAAAAAAAH! Finally, my number she called. Relieved I was. Sitting for so long I had been that all feeling in my tushy I had lost. "At last! My license I need to renew..." "Take these forms and go stand in that line over there." A long, long line she pointed to. See where the line went to, I could not. A long time in that line I stood. When close to the end I thought I was getting, around another corner it would curve. Getting weak, my legs were. Finally, at the front of the line I was. But, to the same front desk I was at before, it went! Up to the desk I went. "Excuse me, to renew my driver's license I..." "Take a blue number and sit over there." "But over there already I waited..." "Did you take a red number, or a blue one?" "A red one I took." "Then you were waiting for your turn to stand in line." "For what the line is, then?" "That's the line to get a blue number. Take a number and sit over there. We'll be with you shortly." More tushy-numbing sitting. Driving me crazy, it was. Finally, helping me renew my license someone was. Asking me silly questions, he was. "Height?" "Two feet, two inches, I am." "Weight?" "Thirty-five pounds." (Ok, a little I lied. But thirty-five pounds once, I was.) "Do you want to be an organ donor?" "No. Own any musical instruments I do not." A silly question that is. What with your driver's license does that have to do? "Ok, and I see your birth date is... Oh, uh-oh." "What?" "Everyone over the age of 650 is required to take an on-the-road exam when renewing their license. It's a new law." Happy about that I was not. But tell you about that tomorrow, I will.