DMV Blues III: Indignity

Continued from the last two posts, this is. Very stressful, trying to renew my driver's license had been. Now, the only thing left for me to do, taking a vision test was. Nervous I was, because studied for this "vision" test I had not. "OK," the lady said, "Look into this viewfinder and read off the top row for me." "E Y O P Q, it says." "I'm sorry, that's incorrect." "But close I was." "Actually, those are all numbers on the top row." "What?!" "Do you have eye glasses, contact lenses, or any kind of corrective lenses?" "No. Never needed glasses before, I have." "Well, I'm sorry, but we can't issue you a license until you get some sort of corrective lenses." "Look lady, need glasses I do not..." "First of all, I'm a guy. Secondly, I'm standing over here. That's the coat rack you're talking to." Hmph! Used the Jedi Mind Trick on these people I would have, but long ago I learned that work on DMV workers, the trick does not. Strong with the Dark Side, they are. Since no other choice I had, to get some eye glasses I went. At one of those one-hour places I bought them, since my license I wanted to get that day. When done the exam was, about my vision test I told the doctor. "Honestly, doctor, that bad my eyesight is not, I know." "Actually, I'm surprised you didn't come in here with a seeing-eye Wookiee." So, some frames I picked out that make me look too nerdy would not: Then back to the DMV to renew my license I went. This time, the vision test I passed. (Yes, a guy that was. But very skinny he was. Easy to confuse him with the coat rack it could be.) Finally, getting my picture taken for the license I was. "Alright," the photographer said, "here we go. Smile." "Wait! Ready I am not..." Nothing for me, this picture does. That goofy-looking I am not. A chance to comb my hair, he did not give me. Trying to smile I was. Instead, frightened I look. But be honest with me, really that fat am I?