Tuesday, October 04, 2005

DMV Blues III: Indignity

Continued from the last two posts, this is.

Very stressful, trying to renew my driver's license had been. Now, the only thing left for me to do, taking a vision test was. Nervous I was, because studied for this "vision" test I had not.

"OK," the lady said, "Look into this viewfinder and read off the top row for me."

"E Y O P Q, it says."

"I'm sorry, that's incorrect."

"But close I was."

"Actually, those are all numbers on the top row."

"What?!"

"Do you have eye glasses, contact lenses, or any kind of corrective lenses?"

"No. Never needed glasses before, I have."

"Well, I'm sorry, but we can't issue you a license until you get some sort of corrective lenses."

"Look lady, need glasses I do not..."

"First of all, I'm a guy. Secondly, I'm standing over here. That's the coat rack you're talking to."

Hmph! Used the Jedi Mind Trick on these people I would have, but long ago I learned that work on DMV workers, the trick does not. Strong with the Dark Side, they are.

Since no other choice I had, to get some eye glasses I went. At one of those one-hour places I bought them, since my license I wanted to get that day.

When done the exam was, about my vision test I told the doctor. "Honestly, doctor, that bad my eyesight is not, I know."

"Actually, I'm surprised you didn't come in here with a seeing-eye Wookiee."

So, some frames I picked out that make me look too nerdy would not:


Then back to the DMV to renew my license I went. This time, the vision test I passed. (Yes, a guy that was. But very skinny he was. Easy to confuse him with the coat rack it could be.)

Finally, getting my picture taken for the license I was.

"Alright," the photographer said, "here we go. Smile."

"Wait! Ready I am not..."





Nothing for me, this picture does. That goofy-looking I am not. A chance to comb my hair, he did not give me. Trying to smile I was. Instead, frightened I look. But be honest with me, really that fat am I?

Comments on "DMV Blues III: Indignity"

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (4:52 AM) : 

oh you look so cute,master oda.*giggle*

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:04 AM) : 

Woof, yeah, Master Yoda, that picture doesn't look too good.

 

Anonymous kayelisny said ... (10:08 AM) : 

Yoda those glasses make you look just... splendid.

um..Yeah.. Splendid..

 

Blogger Florida Voter said ... (10:09 AM) : 

I can see it now:

Yoda: Young skywalker, my glasses have you seen?

Ani: on your head, yo..[snickers]

Obi-Wan: Maybe you should get a chain to hang them around you neck? [laughs]

Yoda: Hmph. [waves hand to apply force wedgie]

Ani & Obs: OUCH!

Yoda: A comedian, everyone is.

 

Blogger Florida Voter said ... (10:10 AM) : 

I can see it now:

Yoda: Young skywalker, my glasses have you seen?

Ani: on your head, yo..[snickers]

Obi-Wan: Maybe you should get a chain to hang them around you neck? [laughs]

Yoda: Hmph. [waves hand to apply force wedgie]

Ani & Obs: OUCH!

Yoda: A comedian, everyone is.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:53 AM) : 

Florida Voter,

Placed bugs in the Jedi Temple have you?

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (10:53 AM) : 

Florida Voter,

Placed bugs in the Jedi Temple have you?

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (11:04 AM) : 

Fear not, Yoda. Chicks dig glasses. Or was that scars?

 

Blogger Jason said ... (12:34 PM) : 

I think they dig both, people with scars who have glasses...

Plus i thought the Jedi council was like the cops and didnt NEED a driving license? If they do then why hasn't Anakin been arrested for jumping out of speeders yet?

 

Blogger flu said ... (12:48 PM) : 

WoW! What a pic!

It's a shame they can't make contacts thick enough for you.

 

Blogger Adi Gallia said ... (2:03 PM) : 

I think I have seen those kind of glasses before. Oh, yeah, doesn't Master Mundi have some like that?

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:04 PM) : 

Err...I know passport and driving licence pictures are never flattering, but....

 

Blogger Jen said ... (4:39 PM) : 

No, you are not that fat. The camera adds 10 lbs, so it would be easy for it to make you look like you weigh 45 lbs. But we all know you don't. Don't worry about it.

 

Anonymous 2nd Padawan from the Right said ... (5:10 PM) : 

We, the Loyal Padawan, just want to go on the record as saying that your new glasses make you look very scholarly Master Yoda. 3rd Padawan from the left suspects that the shine from Master Windu's head may have damaged your vision. May we suggest you get some really kewl flip down's or tinted lenses as to protect your eyes from this in the future. All we ask is that when we are naughty that you don't give us the "Fish Eye" or lower your glasses down your nose and give us "The Look". We are just younglings with poor bladder control. If you did this without warning we may do something without warning that, to be frank, nobody wants to deal with ... Sir!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (7:38 PM) : 

Worry not, 2nd Padawan. Only when driving I have to wear these stupid things. Give me a ticket for teaching without glasses the cops can not!

 

Anonymous Random Civilian said ... (12:29 AM) : 

Yet, Yoda, YET...

About your photo... You actually look skinnier on it than in real life. Dorkier, but not fat. Be happy. And you might also want to be prepared for what you'll see when you look at your speeder with those glasses on... And I hope Anakin has good health insurance.

 

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