Saturday, September 03, 2005

Mashed Potatoes, Kenobi, and Scrabble

Playing Scrabble with Kenobi I was today. But first, like to tell you about a great product you should know about, I would...

< commercial endorsement>Been very hot it has. Buckets, I sweat. Stained under the arms my robe can get. Very embarrasing it can be. That's why Force Guard w/Extra Sith Protection I use. Strong enough for a man it is, PH balanced for a tiny green person it is. Now the confidence I have to raise my arm when smiting down the Dark Side I am.</commercial endorsement>

Pay for the Dolly CDs some way, I have to. Expense it to the Jedi Order I can not, especially since caught me that one time the Order's accountants had.

Anyway, playing Scrabble with Kenobi I was today. Had a labotomy first I should have so that fair it would be.

"Spelled k-a-t, 'cat' is not, Kenobi."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kenobi, sure I am."

"But it sounds like 'kat'."

"Spelled with a 'c' it is."

"Oh! Good! I have a 'c'!"

"No, Kenobi, spelled 'kac' it is not either."

"This game is hard! How d'ya come up with big words like that?" he said. Pointing at the last word I laid down, he was.

" 'Surf' you mean?"

"Yeah, you gotta dictionary for a brain or somethin'?"

"Kenobi, I really think more reading you should do."

"I read!"

"Talking about the back of your Cap'n Typho cereal box, I am not. Talking about actual books I am."

"I got lots of books."

"Count, coloring books do not. Books with words that you actually read, I am talking about."

"I just got done readin' a book with actual words this mornin'!"

"Really? Good for you! Called what it was?"

"What?"

"Called what it was? The title what was?"

"Um...Wonder Wookiee, Issue 45."

"A comic book, known I should have. Actually read the words did you, or just look at the pictures did you?"

"Uh, well, I uh,"

"Mm hmm, just what I thought. Kenobi, turned into mashed potatoes your brain has."

"Mmmm... mashed potatoes."

"Focus, Kenobi. Besides, talking about the good creamy mashed potatoes I am not. Talking about the gritty, tasteless, instant kind I am. Want your brain to be gritty instant mashed potatoes do you?"

"No?" To think about this for a few seconds before answering he had to. Still, sure he was not.

"Of course you do not, Kenobi. That's why assigning you to read this book I am." A book I handed him.

"You're givin' me home work? I'm a grown man! I don't have to do it if I don't want to!"

"Of course, right you are, Kenobi. Your choice it is."

"Good."

"Your choice it is. Read this book you can, or get sprayed more with the pressure washer you can."

"But, do you know how many times I've tried to get through that book? It's so long! And all the big words! It's impossible!"

"Faith in you I have, Kenobi. Get through this you can. Besides, know what happens to Curious George how can you if get to the end you do not?"

Due next week, his book report is. Looking forward to that, I am not. Really time for me to retire it is.

Comments on "Mashed Potatoes, Kenobi, and Scrabble"

 

Blogger Geewhiz said ... (12:26 AM) : 

Please don't retire. If you do, I'll have something to say about it. On the other hand if you do retire, I've got an opening here on Cloud City.

Peace Out,

Lando C.

 

Blogger Captain Typho said ... (1:00 AM) : 

Cap'n Typho cereal?

Funny, I don't remember signing off on that endorsement...

 

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (1:11 AM) : 

Do the HoloNet Guide count as a book?

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:12 AM) : 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:13 AM) : 

Typho,

Sue them you should.

Though, say I must, quite delicious you are, especially with sliced bananas.

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (1:38 AM) : 

yeah pressure washer!master yoda let me do it this time!

 

Blogger Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said ... (8:17 AM) : 

Howya doin' bwuath?

I love bananas, I love mashed potatoes (I like to mush 'em up in my fingers), I love Cap'n Typho cereal, I love Cap'n Typho cereal with bananas, too! I also love Curious George.

Hey, Yodster, when are we gonna go out and have banana daiquiris? You didn't replay to my invatation, us monkeys gotta stick together!

Hoo hoo hoo ha ha ha ha!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (12:28 PM) : 

Bo Bo,

A monkey I am not! If pants you wore, a Force-wedgie I would give you now!

Hmph!

 

Anonymous Eric Lippert said ... (12:43 PM) : 

Master Yoda, you should not have criticized Kenobi's word choice. A perfectly legal Scrabble word, "kat" is. Its a kind of shrub. And "kat" is worth way more points than "cat".

Even more useful, "kat" can also be spelled "qat", which is one of the very small number of q-without-u words in Scrabble. Very handy if you are stuck with the q near the end of the game!

 

Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said ... (1:48 PM) : 

He still isn't reading?
Man, I read to him every night. Mostly I was trying to get him, like, through his remedial reading homework, but, seriously, man...
My suggestion, Master Y, man, cut off the TV. No tractor pulls, no wrestling, no violent imported game shows, no infomercials, no Chewie's Angels, no Dooku of Hazard, and no bloody NASCAR!
No TV and no beer make Benji go something something.
QGJ

 

Blogger Jenn said ... (2:35 PM) : 

Capt. Typho,
Watch out or they will be after your lucky charms!
Master Yoda,
Watch out or Kenobi will have the cliff notes version of Curious George.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (6:05 PM) : 

eric,

Trust me you can, the shrub in mind Kenobi had not. However thank you for the information. Keep it in mind for my next Scrabble game I will.

 

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