Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Dark Side These Things Are

Very pervasive, the Dark Side is. Which explains why so popular reality TV is. Anyway, for your benefit, compiled a list of five things that are the Dark Side I have. Avoid them you must.

The Dark Side These Things Are:

Eating With Your Mouth Open. Listen, Kenobi, fall for the "Like seafood do you?" question anymore I will not! Disgusting that is. Eat it you should. Wear it you should not. Have to look at it, I should not.

Anything That Says "Starring Mary Kate and Ashley Olson". Turn to pudding your brain will after one of their movies you watch. Also, always together in the same movie or television show they have to be. This is because so little they weigh that both of them to equal one whole person it takes.
Besides, if seen one of their movies you have, seen them all you have. The exact same plot they have, just a different city they take place in. Take my word for it, you can. Seen all of their movies, I have... uh, for research! Yes, it that is. For research on the Dark Side, it was. Judge me not!

Country Line Dancing. Yes, a fan of country music I am. But tell you let me that no good reason for so many rhythm-deprived rednecks to dance at one time, there can be. Come from that, no good can.
Besides, unless branding cattle or breaking in a horse you are, wear a cowboy hat you should not! Fooling no one into believing a cowboy you are. Also, say your name or be bigger than your head, your belt buckle should not. My feelings on the matter those are.

Printing Out Your Emails. Nothing like printing out your emails says, "Know how to use a computer I do not." You see, when to you emails come, in a handy place they can be seen - on your computer! Died a senseless death, many noble trees have because willing to learn your computer you were not.

Talking On Your Cell Phone In the Bathroom. Want to speak to you while taking a dump you are, I do not! A solitary activity that is... except for some people in nursing homes, but the point that is not. More than willing to wait I am.

Comments on "The Dark Side These Things Are"

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (2:24 AM) : 

AND using vidal sassoon.*nod*

 

Blogger Commando: Rage said ... (2:26 AM) : 

Master Yoda, Sir! We are sure that you watch those movies for good reasons. Sir!

 

Blogger Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said ... (5:53 AM) : 

Howya doin' bwauth?

I used to like Mary Kate and Ashley when they were younger, they looked just like Monkeygirls! Now they are older and both need to eat a few more banana cream pies.

Hoo hoo ha ha ha ha ha!

 

Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said ... (10:50 AM) : 

Have you ever thought about, like, breaking out Benji's ol' feedbag? It should be in his closet next to his wrestling leotard. Just fill that bad boy with, like, Cheetos, strap it on his head, and no more orange crumbs, man.
QGJ

 

Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said ... (11:03 AM) : 

Hey! I print out my e-mails?!?

O..wait, I'm already on the dark side.

*waves hand*

As you were...

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (11:53 AM) : 

What if you’re talking on the cell phone and eating with your mouth open in the bathroom while watching a video of Mary Kate learning to line dance at the same time Ashley is printing out her e-mails?

 

Blogger akv0459 said ... (11:55 AM) : 

did you watch the olsen movies because of their diminutive size?... he he he.. Ow! force wedgie! But how did you know so soon?...

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (2:57 PM) : 

There are some people that do all five of these things!

 

Blogger Draco-7 said ... (3:14 PM) : 

Mary Kate and Ashley are very skinny demons in human form.

 

Blogger flu said ... (4:26 PM) : 

How in the world did "merely considering using a pooper-scooter as a means of getting around the Jedi Temple" not make this list?

Oh, wait... I forgot who authored the list...

 

Blogger Mace Windu said ... (4:56 PM) : 

But I was looking foreward to the next season of Full House!

 

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (7:56 PM) : 

What bout orderin a super-sized McDooku meal an a diet coke?

 

Blogger Jenn said ... (8:46 PM) : 

Jawa Juice, in answer to your question, I think you'd become a black hole of dark sidedeness. The best example I can think of who represents this is *looks behind her* Barney the Dinosaur.

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (10:38 PM) : 

That jean-luc looks suprisingly familiar.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (12:19 AM) : 

Jenn,

Yes, included Darth Barney on my list, I should have.

Singing "I love you, you love me" to strangers, the Dark Side is.

JawaJuice,

If something that horrible you ever witness, call the nearest Jedi office, you must. If about it I hear, "smitin' time" it will be!

 

Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (5:45 AM) : 

And Teletubbies too! they are a really a torturing path towards the dark side.
Just hear their songs! ewww!

btw happy blogs day! I recommended u!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (11:55 AM) : 

Dinorider,

Thanks for recommending me to... uh what that was again?

 

Blogger Dinorider d'Andoandor said ... (8:17 PM) : 

what "what"?
if u mean teletubbies they are annoying lil aliens that kids used to love by some unknown reason!

 

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