Monday, August 22, 2005

Harvey the Youngling

Special attention Younglings need. More attention than others, some Younglings require.

"Harvey! Stop picking your nose, you must!"

"I wasn't picking my nose, Master Yoda! I swear!"

"See through you, I can, Harvey. A nose-picker you are, and a booger-eater. Come here, next to Master Yoda sit. Now, Harvey, to what, nose-picking leads? Remember? Told you many times I have."

"Green fingers?"

*Sigh* "The Dark Side, Harvey. To the Dark Side nose-picking leads. Want to grow up to be a Sith Lord, you do not, do you?"

"No."

"Good. Then speak no more of this we shall."

"But Master Kenobi picks his nose all the time."

"Want you to hang out with Master Kenobi anymore, I do not. A bad influence on you he is."

"Aw, but he was goin' to show me a buncha neat wrestling moves, and how to make armpit noises, and how to burp and say my name at the same time, and we were going to eat Cheetos, and watch Ernest Goes to Camp and a monster truck show and midget wrestling, and, and...!"

"Argue with me do not. Now go, wash your hands you must. And touch any of Master Yoda's stuff on the way to the bathroom do not."

Make the same mistake with Harvey that I made with Dooku, I will not. Always in his nose, Dooku's finger was. Now, at him look. If only stricter about the "no picking" rule I had been, maybe be a Sith Lord he would not. And if only stricter with Kenobi about the "no scratching" rule I had been... but a subject for another post that is.

Comments on "Harvey the Youngling"

 

Blogger Count Dooku said ... (1:50 AM) : 

I'll have you know, old boy, that nose-picking is a very respectable habit for a very respectable man. As is talking with your mouth full. And chewing. And spitting in the streets.

Hmph.

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (3:34 AM) : 

wow green fingers!is that master yoda's finger?

 

Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said ... (8:14 AM) : 

You had better make sure that Harvey doesn't watch dwarf tossing with Kenobi either. That could be a problem.

 

Blogger flu said ... (10:22 AM) : 

Gee, Master Yoda, I thought nose picking was an ok thing.... but not the booger eating.

So, then, what do the hardcore Jedi Masters do? - after they've mowed the yard? - or gone camping for a few days? - and end up with a nostril full of crusty old nose goblins that won't blow out because they're anchored in and trying to take root?

You don't just let 'em grow, and grow, and multiply, and fester, to where they end up dangling and freaking out everybody at the dinner table... do you? Shouldn't you rid yourself of the demons? and put them in a booger vault? Like a tissue, or something...

...and one last question, from the budding magician in me... how can I be expected to make a handkerchief dance, if I can't pick a little boogy to put in it?

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (12:06 PM) : 

Be eaten boogers should not. To green teeth it leads.

The alternative? Pick it, lick it, roll it, flick it.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (12:12 PM) : 

Do you want to see my magic nose goblin collection? I picked 'em myself!

 

Blogger Leia said ... (1:07 PM) : 

Siri's right - why are your fingers green then? You're not a... hypocrite... are you?

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (2:52 PM) : 

Green finders is not the sort of subject to speculate about!

 

Blogger owenlars said ... (3:36 PM) : 

I would have like it if you had described said boogers with a little more detail. What shades of green, was there any red...etc.

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (3:49 PM) : 

Mr. Lars,

South Park this is not. As see from the comments you can, very sophisticated my readers are.

 

Blogger Jenn said ... (5:26 PM) : 

Ew. Just ew. Boogers are not to eat, they are to flick at unsuspecting passersby.

 

Blogger FuzzBuck Fuzz said ... (6:53 PM) : 

beware the bogey.

 

Blogger Jar Jar Binks said ... (10:06 PM) : 

Mesa backsa yodasa! And mesa pick mesa nosesa allllllll the timesa...Oopsa

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (11:55 PM) : 

Do you know how hard it is to pick your nose when wearing this helmet? ... really it is easy, but you have to use a straw.

 

Anonymous Karth Onaasi said ... (11:07 AM) : 

Every member of the republic shoulf know, picking your nose with your finger is antidemocratic and an act of tiranny...
Unless they are meant to be used as a weapon against the dith, they. Boogers, given the properly scientific treatment can make excellent Jedi Masters.
Just how do you think we created master yod.......
(mouth shut by the power of the force)

MMMMdmdmmmmmmmm
Translation.
(Long live the green booger)

 

Anonymous karth Onaasi said ... (11:09 AM) : 

By the way, the word verification thingie was made up by you or is it happening in all blogs?
Great against spam, which is of course part of the dark side of the force...

 

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