Dooku: My List of Grievances
|Sorry I am that several hours late this blog is. Last night, out the electricity at the Jedi Temple was. Stupid Coruscant Light & Power Company!|
Anyway, said that too harsh, my chosen punishment for Dooku is, some of you have. Mmph! What know you of harsh? Had varicose veins and achy joints for almost 700 years now I have. Tell me about harsh do not!
"But just a game of Bingo, it is," some of you said. All of it, that is not! Only the straw that broke the bantha's back, it is! Listed for you my grievances against Dooku I have:
My List of Grievances Against Dooku:
1. A big, hairy, ugly, scary spider he put in my room.
2. Ruined Lawrence Welk dance night at the Coruscant Senior Citizens' Center for me, he has.
3. Threw a big party for Senator Amidala, but invite me he did not! Much ice cream and cake there was. Ice cream and cake I love, he knows!
4. Young Skywalker's arm he chopped off and refused to reimburse the Jedi Order for the mechanical arm replacement he has. Know do you how expensive arm replacements are? Pay for it anymore our group policy will not. They said that filed too many claims for arm and hand replacements we have.
5. The one who convinced Windu to wear those stupid wigs he was. This he did, because a stupid comb-over Dooku himself has. Long in front his hair he grows, then over the bald spot in back he combs it. Seen his hair when very windy it is I have. Fooling no one you are, Dooku!
6. Prank phone calls to my number all the time he makes. Know an I. P. Freely I do not, so stop asking me you will!
7. One time, some "tea" he gave me. Hurt, it made my tummies and see strange things it made me. And what the "green" in the "green tea" was, I think I know now!
8. Getting me kicked out of the AARP, he tried. Need the supplemental insurance I do! To cover people over 500 years old, no one else wants! Fortunately, belonged to AARP for 825 years I have. Much seniority I have.
9. Send me a "Get Well Card" when the Naboosian Flu I had, he did not.
10. Called me "that midget frog on the Jedi Council" and "Jedi Master Kermit" behind my back he has!
So see you can, a major butt-whooping he deserves. And get one he will, too.