The Forcies

Time for the Annual Jedi Awards, it was. The "Forcies" we call them. Like this stupid event, I do not. A waste of time it is. Walking the red carpet, the worst part is. Because you have to talk to these two, that is: Darth Facelift and her apprentice, Darth Whiny, their names are. The Dark Side, these two are. Enter into the hall through a side door I wanted. Find the side door I could not. So once on the red carpet, to avoid those two I tried. That I was going to make it, I thought. Interviewing Senator Amidala they were. Going on and on about her dress, she was. To sneak by I tried. "OH! OH! OH my GAWD! Master Yoda, there you are!" Wookiee snot. "Master Yoda, come here a second! My Gawd, what are you wearing!" Darth Facelift the Ancient One asked me. "My Jedi robe it is. What I wear all the time it is." "'Wear all the time' is right!" she said, "It looks like you sleep in the thing too!" "Yeah, Mom," Darth Whiny jumped in, "it looks like he came here in his pajamas!" Massive Force-wedgies I gave both of them. Especially affected, Darth Facelift seemed to be. "OH! OH! My face! The wedgie pain made the Collagen come loose! Oh my Gawd! OH!" "Don't worry, Mom! I'll get your onsite makeup/cosmetic surgery crew here right away!" Finally, into the hall we all were. Begun, the awards show had. The winner of the first category, they announced: "And the Forcie for the 'Most Fluent Jedi in Ghetto Speak' goes to... just let me get this envelope open..." "I'm so excited! Hurry!" "...Anakin Skywalker!" Up to give his acceptance speech, Young Skywalker got. "Yo, I wanna thank y'all for keepin it real, know what I mean? I wanna thank my mom. I wanna thank my gir-, uh, Senator Amidala for havin my back, yo. Peace!" Next, the category for "Most Cheetos Consumed By a Single Jedi" was. Of course, that one Kenobi won. "I want to thank all them Cheetos elves who spend all that time in that there tree makin the Cheetos..." On and on about the 'Cheetos elves' he went. A long talk with him I will have to have later. Finally, to the "Best Display of the Force by a Jedi Under 3 Feet Tall and Over 800 Years Old" category we got. Surprised I was that once again, won it I had. "Like to thank all of the little people, I would - Yaddle, Gary Coleman, Danny DeVito, other little people..." Long my acceptance speech was not. Tired I was getting. Trouble there was when to the last category we got - the "Prettiest, Shiniest, Bald Head" category. The envelope they opened. "And the winner is..." Up, Windu stood. "Ki-Adi-Mundi!" "WHAT?!" Windu screeched. Up on stage he rushed. "This is an outrage! This is a huge injustice! This is completely, undeniably, unfair! That is my award! I've earned it!" Off stage he had to be dragged. Sobbing all the way, he was. Great, have to hear about this for the next two months, I will. ************************ Forget to vote on the "Best of Master Yoda" poll, do not! Choosing from posts 101 to 200, you will be. A little summary next to many of the post titles, my Stupid Intern wrote on the poll, so have to go back and read all of those post you will not. Open until next Thursday, the poll will be so about a week you have. But procrastinate do not! Want a Force-wedgie do you? Hmph! .