Friday, August 12, 2005

Shopping At The Giggly Piggly

Grocery shopping at the Giggly Piggly today I went. Like shopping there I do not. Those automatic doors with the motion detectors it has. Short I am, so see me, the motion detector does not. Open, the doors would not.

Up I jumped, and my arms I waved. Still nothing. My cane I waved around. Nothing. Finally an old lady I picked up with the Force and in the air I waved her around. The trick, that did. Later, Windu pointed out that just slide the doors open with the Force, I could have. Hmm, yes. Remember that for next time, I will.

Find the Believe That Butter It Is Not, I Can Not I could not. Important that item was. Using real butter I have stopped, because getting a little pot belly Kenobi is. Besides, a coupon I had.

The teenager stocking the milk I asked, "Where the Believe That Butter It Is Not, I Can Not is?"

"The what?"

"Find the Believe That Butter It Is Not, I Can Not I can not. Point me to the Believe That Butter It Is Not, I Can Not can you?"

"Huh?"

*sigh* "Tell me where is the Believe That Butter It Is Not, I Can Not can you not?"

"What're you lookin for, butter?"

"No! Use butter I can not. A substitute I need."

"Oh, you know what? We have this great product. It's called I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

Teenagers.

Then, long the line at the register was. Fortunately, reading material there was. But way more about Brad/Angelina/Jennifer than I wanted, I learned.

Finally, her cart the lady in front of me emptied.

The last item, the cashier scanned. "That will be 100 credits."

"Hmm," the lady said, "I only got 20 credits. How much is it without this Snicker's bar?"

Scan. "99 credits. 79 credits to go."

"Ok, how much is it without this pack of gum?"

Scan. "98.5 credits."

Aaaaaah! On and on like this it went. Stand it anymore I could not. I yelled, "Look! Happen to notice did you that prices on the shelves there are?! Or maybe given up entirely on Math you have?!"

Like that, the lady did not. Respond well to constructive criticism, some do not.

At last, my turn it was.

"Paper or plastic, sir?"

Hmm, kill trees or clog landfills. Difficult choice it was. Then it occured to me - if more trees we kill, more room for landfills there will be. So paper I chose.

My hand I waved at the cashier. "Double-coupon day it is."

"It's double-coupon day today."

Some compensation for my aggravation I needed.

Comments on "Shopping At The Giggly Piggly"

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:50 AM) : 

Dude, you do realize that today was triple coupon day already, right?

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:04 AM) : 

D'oh!

 

Blogger owenlars said ... (1:27 AM) : 

Bill, seriously, (totally out of character) that was one of the funniest things that I have ever read that wasn't written by me. I read it 3 times, and laughed aloud each time. In honesty, because I'm new to this site, I haven't yet read all of your posts (only the last 10, I think), but I will eventually. You're like a kindred spirit, or something. I'm really glad i found your site.

Javie- out!

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (3:39 AM) : 

yeah owen suddenly finds his life meaningful.i find mine too.

 

Blogger Helen Louise said ... (6:45 AM) : 

Wow, is the Giggly Piggly in Cambridge, UK, Earth? It sounds way too familiar.

 

Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said ... (9:06 AM) : 

Even though paper bags kill innocent trees and destroy our environment, man, they are better to have around as Benji can break through those. Do you remember the time he got that plastic bag caught on his head? When he finally went unconscious, we were able to pull it off. And the Healers assured there would be no further brain damage. I demand a retest.
QGJ

 

Blogger Victoria said ... (9:24 AM) : 

They still have Giggly-Piggly stores?

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (9:42 AM) : 

oh he don't need a retest.the result is obvious.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:56 AM) : 

That was so funny, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter would ave been speewing out of my nose had I been drinking it.

 

Anonymous mooalex said ... (10:35 AM) : 

The wise Ms.Q (acatnamedpi.blogspot.com) said, "I am starting to figure out that what the Beatles said applies to blog love: The love you take is equal to the love you make."

So, I wanted to stop by today and just say "Hi" because I enjoy your blog, but don't stop often enough and leave a comment. Also, I wanted to invite you to contribute to my "Bloggers Summer Photo Album." Read more about it at mooalex.blogspot.com. I hope you'll want to share your summer fun with the Moo!

(Yes, this is a "form comment," but I mean every word! I swear!)

(Hey there, Yoda! Say HI to stupid intern Bill for me!)

 

Anonymous wedge antilies said ... (12:57 PM) : 

I am beginning to think that "Jedi Wisdom" is another oxymoron (LOL).

 

Blogger ninjanun said ... (2:27 PM) : 

Oh, Yoda. Waving an old lady around to get the doors open? Using the Jedi Mind Trick to get a discount (I see that it backfired, though)? I thought you were better than that. And smarter.

 

Blogger Aayla Secura said ... (4:25 PM) : 

Bring someone taller to shop with you next time. That way you won't have any trouble getting in the door.

 

Blogger Leia said ... (5:29 PM) : 

The less room for landfills there are, the more room for forests.

 

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (7:44 PM) : 

You always be tellin me that usin my powers to get discounts is a path to the dark side, yo. Why you bein all hypcriticizzle?

 

Blogger Barriss Offee said ... (9:12 PM) : 

Master Yoda, you could try bringing your own canvas sacks, like I do. You don't kill trees, or fill landfills, they're stronger, and they hold more.

Oh, and Giggly Piggly gives you 15% off if you bring your own bags.

 

Blogger Master Ki-Adi-Mundi said ... (10:08 PM) : 

Taking someone with you would be the most logical course of action...but I would not take Skywalker with you. Unless you enjoy those 'seeing eye monkey' comments.

 

Blogger Oola said ... (11:11 PM) : 

I recall seing something called a piggly wiggly.

 

Blogger Geewhiz said ... (1:46 PM) : 

Uh, M. Yoda: "teenagers"? I resent that. I hope the old lady steals your next round of coupons.
BTW, I enjoy butter.

Peace Out,
Lando C.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:44 AM) : 

they have a giggly piggly store in CAmbridge? where? i havent seen it yet

 

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