Our New Jedi Shaquanda

So, confused about what to do with our new Jedi Shaquanda I am. Put her with the other Padawans I can not. Afraid I am that sit on a Youngling she will. Maybe put her in an accelerated class I can. Very much about the Force she knows already. Feel the Force through her hair extensions and weaves she can. At times, to sense the future, her gold tooth she uses. But when chili for lunch she has, clouded the future gets. Already made Windu cry she has, "Boy, what you doin, sitting around lookin at yourself in that big mirror like that? It ain't like you got hair to comb on your bald head! And what you need with a mirror that big, anyway? You a grown man, you don't need to be sittin around here, readin no Tiger Beat, talkin about feelings all the time. If you don't get up outta that chair, you gonna be feeling my foot up the crack of your behind!" Most effective she is when her head and neck she whips. A new Force trick that is, I think. Trying to straighten up Kenobi she is, "Boy, get your head out of that Cheetos bag! Clean your face up! You ain't gotta have Cheetos all up in your beard like that. Don't you never look in the mirror? What's wrong with you? Ain't nobody here want to see you in your old tighty-whities. Put some clothes on! This ain't no locker room. And you a grown man. What you doin goin around here in them wrestling tights anyway? And I ain't callin you no 'Kenobinator', neither. I know that ain't the name your mama gave you." Yes, working out fine she is. Make Master in no time she will. Very empathetic, when a hard day I have had, she is. Big hugs she gives me. "I know, Boo. I know. You don't get no lovin. Come here, let me give you some lovin." Careful I must be though. Pass out the last time she hugged me, I did.