Saturday, July 09, 2005

Our New Jedi Shaquanda

So, confused about what to do with our new Jedi Shaquanda I am. Put her with the other Padawans I can not. Afraid I am that sit on a Youngling she will.

Maybe put her in an accelerated class I can. Very much about the Force she knows already. Feel the Force through her hair extensions and weaves she can. At times, to sense the future, her gold tooth she uses. But when chili for lunch she has, clouded the future gets.

Already made Windu cry she has, "Boy, what you doin, sitting around lookin at yourself in that big mirror like that? It ain't like you got hair to comb on your bald head! And what you need with a mirror that big, anyway? You a grown man, you don't need to be sittin around here, readin no Tiger Beat, talkin about feelings all the time. If you don't get up outta that chair, you gonna be feeling my foot up the crack of your behind!"

Most effective she is when her head and neck she whips. A new Force trick that is, I think.

Trying to straighten up Kenobi she is, "Boy, get your head out of that Cheetos bag! Clean your face up! You ain't gotta have Cheetos all up in your beard like that. Don't you never look in the mirror? What's wrong with you? Ain't nobody here want to see you in your old tighty-whities. Put some clothes on! This ain't no locker room. And you a grown man. What you doin goin around here in them wrestling tights anyway? And I ain't callin you no 'Kenobinator', neither. I know that ain't the name your mama gave you."

Yes, working out fine she is. Make Master in no time she will.

Very empathetic, when a hard day I have had, she is. Big hugs she gives me. "I know, Boo. I know. You don't get no lovin. Come here, let me give you some lovin."

Careful I must be though. Pass out the last time she hugged me, I did.

Comments on "Our New Jedi Shaquanda"

 

Blogger Draco-7 said ... (6:48 AM) : 

Just put her up to master already, Yoda!
It sounds like she would make a good one!

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (7:02 AM) : 

Whew! She sounds like one tough cookie.

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (9:46 AM) : 

it's an easy job...just put all the mirrors in master mace's room into obi's room...

 

Blogger Middento said ... (10:29 AM) : 

Would be curious to see what Jedi Shaquanda looks like... and indeed, where is she sleeping? (And how does the weave react to the swamp air?)

This is a great storyline though -- I am most curious to see how this plays out.

 

Blogger mr. schprock said ... (10:56 AM) : 

Will her future title be Master Shaquanda or Queen Shaquanda? I know which one I like…

 

Blogger Serra said ... (1:12 PM) : 

giggle...chortle...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

Blogger Leia said ... (2:22 PM) : 

She made Mace cry? It's about time someone did. Are you sure they don't miss her on the Jerry Show?

 

Anonymous John said ... (3:31 PM) : 

It's not hard to make Mace cry. He'll do it voluntarily.

 

Anonymous sandyg said ... (6:07 PM) : 

Sounds like an excellent answer to your Dooku problems, Master Yoda! She'll make short work of him, I suspect! Congratulations!

 

Blogger Barriss Offee said ... (6:40 PM) : 

Maybe you could assign her security duties with the Wookiees, Master. I think she'd get along with them quite well!

 

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said ... (6:23 PM) : 

She keeps changing the channel while I'm watching Cribs.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:03 PM) : 

dude i think u should make sheqaunda do some force setups or sommething

 

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