Monday, March 20, 2006

Guest Poster: Obi-wan Kenobi [Topic - Teachin' the Younglins]




That there Harvey the Younglin asked me a very important question today. It was a question every younglin asks some time or another. That's cause it's just natural to be kyurius cureeus cyoorius wonderin' about stuff like that. Besides, that boy's about the age when younglins want to know some about the facts of life.

So he asked me, "Master Obi-wan, where do Cheetos come from?"

Now, most of the time, when one of the Younglins ask me a question, I just make sumthin' up, 'cause most of the time I don't got no answers. But this time I was ready. I know all about Cheetos, and where they come from, and what-not.

"I'm real glad you asked that, Harvey. I think you're old enough now to know the answer to that one. You see, Cheetos come from the Cheeto Elves what live in the big Cheetos shoe."

His eyes got real wide. "Really?"

"Yup. Sure is."

"Is that like the Keebler Elves in the Keebler tree?"

"Nah. This here's completely differnt. See, them Keebler Elves is just make-believe. Cheeto Elves is real."

"Oh."

"Yup. Them Cheeto Elves work day and night with their magic Cheeto dust puttin' together Cheetos so's they can be delivered to all good little Younglins by Chester Cheetah."

"You sure know a lot, Master Obi-wan."

"I guess so. So, where'd you think Cheetos came from before I told you?"

"I thought they were manufactured at a factory, using a process which combines different ingredients derived from agricultural products like enriched corn meal, vegetable oil, soybean, and a small amount of cheddar cheese, along with artificial ingredients such as maltodextrin, monosodium glutamate, and food coloring; and then packaged and shipped to distributors and then wholesalers and vendors until finally they're delivered to local merchants, such as supermarkets and convenience stores."

"Well, don't feel bad. You just weren't old enough to know no better." Heh heh, them Younglins sure get some funny ideas sometimes, don't they?

Anyways, Yoda will be back to talk to youns tomorrow. So have a good one.

Comments on "Guest Poster: Obi-wan Kenobi [Topic - Teachin' the Younglins]"

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:41 PM) : 

Where do younglins get these crazy theories from?

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (4:55 PM) : 

I don't think you're right Obi. My gran' pappy told me when I was just a tyke that Cheetos come from Cheetopia. Apparently they just rain down from the sky there and all the little children scoop them up and put them in bags for good American and European boys and girls. You might want to recheck your facts on this.

 

Blogger Jango Fett said ... (5:34 PM) : 

Where do cheetos come from? Thats a trick question.

 

Blogger Jabafatboy said ... (5:40 PM) : 

I got a much better question ?

Where did Obi Come From !

Acoarse I probably Dont wanna Know the answer to that question , but ya know it just needed askin

 

Blogger Geewhiz said ... (9:33 PM) : 

If you and Harvery switched bodies in this exact conversation, I think the outcome woulda been exactly the same.

 

Blogger Nic said ... (12:10 AM) : 

Silly younglings! When will they ever learn? I mean, with you teaching them, really, when will they ever learn...anything???

Larry the Cableguy said tonight that a Redneck was someone who idolized John Wayne, loved Jesus and owned Smokey and the Bandit 1&2 (but not 3 b/c it was too cheesy) and if they were thinking about an expansion to the mobile home or trailer they would just wenld the van to the kitchen area. Would you consider yourself a redneck?

 

Blogger Son Goku said ... (1:06 AM) : 

Cheeto Elves are mean! they attack if you try to eat cheetos around them.

 

Blogger jedisiri said ... (7:22 AM) : 

Finally back!

You're still on Cheetos?*bored*

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:35 AM) : 

I'm kinda with Jbafatboy on this one. Where do Jedi younglings come from, Mr. Kenobi?

And do the Cheeto Elves use real cheese?

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (10:58 AM) : 

See? Kids these days need to stop surfing the holonet where they can dig up this kind of inaccurate filth and go back to getting it wrong at the source: the street corners with their friends.

 

Blogger The Kenobinator said ... (11:08 AM) : 

Would you consider yourself a redneck?

Nic,

At first, I used to get perty mad whenever anybody called me a redneck. But then them great philosophers, that there Jeff Foxworthy feller and that there Larry the Cable Guy, taught us that it's perty cool to be a redneck.

Git R Done!

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (11:08 AM) : 

It's a shame more Younglings aren't exposed to such wisdom. The world would truly be a better place.

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (12:13 PM) : 

Made by Cheetos Elves?!?!?! disgusting, i'll never be able to eat a cheeto again

 

Anonymous medrewnotyou said ... (2:08 PM) : 

I remember back when I was a Youngling and learned about the birds, bees, and Cheeto elves. So naive...

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (3:26 PM) : 

Gee, AOC, it's not like the Cheeto elves poop out the cheetos. Now Coco Puffs, in the otherhand...

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (5:12 PM) : 

I think that prejudice against Cheeto Elves, AOC is.

 

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