I want to put the rest of the Jedi on notice here and now that my head is no longer to be used as your personal mirror. Do not ask me to lean closer so that you can check your hair (I am talking to you, Anakin!), your make-up (ahem, Yaddle), or whether the contents of your dinner managed to make it all the way into your mouth instead of on your face (I think we all know who I am talking about here). As you all know, I carry no less than three real mirrors in the pockets of my robe at all times. You are more than welcome to use these, though I don't know why you can't just carry your own mirrors. But you will no longer be allowed to check your reflection on my head. To be used this way is demeaning, deflating, demoralizing, and destabilitizing.
I worked long and hard to make my pretty cranium the shiny, reflective thing of beauty that it is. I did not work so hard so that every yahoo with a zit on his nose could come along and make me wait while he pops it. It's humiliating, man!
Just yesterday, the little green man and I were eating at that hot dog stand down the street. As usual, I was having my tofu dog with organically produced ketchup and mustard, because my body is a temple, man. Of course, Yoda was having his disgusting chili dog topped with every artery-clogging substance he could find. Yoda's body is not a temple, man. It's fallen-down tool shed at best. Anyway, I made a mistake that day.
"Yoda, you have a chili bean on your face." I shouldn't have said it, but I did. I couldn't help it man! He was just sitting there, all through lunch with that chili bean sitting on the corner of his mouth, trying to talk to me about troop deployments and padawan training initiatives. It was making me sick!
"Get it did I?"
"No. It's on the right side of your mouth."
"Get it now, did I?"
"Your other right, man."
"No. A little higher."
"Useless this is. Down here, bend."
"No, now come on!"
"Down here, bend."
"But I have actual mirrors you can borrow. There is no need..."
"Down here, bend, I said, Doofus! Want a Force-wedgie, do you?"
Why I put up with this indignity, I don't know:
In case you care (and I don't know why you would), Yoda will be back to talk to you people tomorrow.