Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Guest Poster - Mace Windu [Topic: My Super Power]




You people are going to think I'm crazy when I tell you this, but that's alright. I can handle it. You can't be the man Mace Windu is without being able to accept the disbelief of the uninformed and uneducated. So I will tell you this in spite of your disbelief, your lack of faith, your smirking cynicism, and your urge to mock me, which I'm sure you will have after I tell you this. That's how you people are. You may not be ready for this, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I have a super power.

You read that right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. I have a super power. No, I can't fly. I can't climb walls or see through them. I don't have heat vision or metal claws that come out of my hand. I can't freeze things with my mind. I can't shrink to the size of a peanut (What the heck kind of super power is that, anyway? I mean, how does that help you fight evil super villians?). No, my super power is much more important than any of those.

You see, I have buns of steel. That's right, buns of steel. Try not to be intimidated.

I am telling you, I have the firmest, most steel-like buns a human being could have. Yes, sir! These bad boys are indestructible! There is no beating them! Sharp knives? Won't even make a scratch. Blaster fire? Bounces right off.

This power, coupled with the blinding shininess of my beautiful head, makes me unstoppable! That's right! There is no stopping Mace Windu, no sir!

But, with great power comes great responsiblity. The lessons of Spider-man are not lost on me. That's why I am determined to use the power of my buns of steel only for good, not evil. So you can just rest tight about that.

Not that it matters, but Yoda will be back to talk to you people tomorrow. I am sure he'll have something far less important to talk about.

.

Comments on "Guest Poster - Mace Windu [Topic: My Super Power]"

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (8:02 AM) : 

I'm sure...

 

Blogger Jabafatboy said ... (8:39 AM) : 

Buns of Steel hmmmmmm. well then does that mean you have flatulance of copper, or lead maybe!!!

As super powers go I think I like the ,Reduce myself to a small size, better!!

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (9:19 AM) : 

I have no doubt about your super power, why I bet that you couls squash a banana just by sitting on it.

 

Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:19 AM) : 

I must be unnerving for a villian to see you charging him by running backwards with your buns to protect you. And if Superman ever needs a butt transplant, we will send him to you.

 

Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (11:52 AM) : 

Hmm, a bullet proof heinie. I could see how that would be a useful power. If you were running away from shooting at you. If you had a really tedious job that required you to sit in the same spot all day. If you were pledging a fraternity and they made you crawl through the Valley of Paddles.

I'd like to see what kind of costume you'd design to accent your power. On second thought, maybe I wouldn't want to see that.

 

Anonymous Knight o'Fni said ... (12:04 PM) : 

Just please, please, please, keep those buns in your pants. I'm already blind from the glare off your dome. Please, don't make me gouge out my sightless eyes.
*holds up a spork*
Ni!

 

Blogger Obi-Wan Kenobi said ... (12:18 PM) : 

Buns are useless without the hamburgers.

 

Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (12:22 PM) : 

My unit knows all about Master Windu's Buns of Steel. On the last mission with him, he continually wants us to touch them.

"Feel how firm they are".

"They are a thing of beauty my homely clone brethren."

"It is not unmanly to grab another mans bottom. What is the matter with you troopers."

 

Blogger JawaJuice said ... (12:28 PM) : 

So how exactly do you defeat someone using your...eh...super power?
On second thought, I'm not sure I want to know.

 

Blogger Norbert Huntington IV said ... (1:01 PM) : 

Our records show that you have not registered this "Super Power" with the Office of Galactic Empire Security.

Be advised that this information has been passed on to the proper authorities.

 

Blogger Jason said ... (1:30 PM) : 

I think for Windu it would be a hotdog obi wan...

It is just me or did that post make Windu sound really REALLY like he's needs to come out of the closet?

BTW: since when was the force not classified as a super power? :P

 

Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said ... (1:33 PM) : 

Buns of steel...we of the Dark Side have no comment. LOL!

 

Blogger Master Yoda said ... (1:45 PM) : 

Jason,

Yes, too much time Windu spends in his closet. Too concerned with mixing and matching outfits, he is.

 

Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said ... (4:26 PM) : 

Well, duh you have super powers, you are a Jedi. But I will admit that it takes a super human being to make it through those 'buns of steel' tapes and still be able to walk. So good for you Master Windu, use the force and that fantastic fanny of yours for the forces of good. I'll just stand back here and watch.

Oh, and please stop asking my clones to grab your butt, they get kinda weirded out by things like that.

 

Blogger Jango Fett said ... (6:42 PM) : 

Mace how many hours do you spend in your closet?

 

Blogger Son Goku said ... (3:07 AM) : 

um ah okay no I don't want to feel !

 

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