'Kay, so like, I am totally freaked out about this Bird Flu thingy. Like I do not want to start growing feathers and like, start eating worms and junk 'cause that would be so totally gross. And like who's the rocket surgeon who got this stupid flu in the first place? Like, everyone knows birds don't cover their mouths when they sneeze, so what was he doing hanging out with them? I mean, yah, that was like so stupid.
It's almost as bad as like that Mad Cow thingy. There was this one time, like we all thought my Uncle Philber had the Mad Cow thingy, like he was all crazy and junk and started like jumping on the furniture and stuff, and eh-my-God, he was like so obnoxious. But like it turned out that he didn't have Mad Cow or anything, he just like converted to Scientology or whatever. But we were still way bummed 'cause we totally couldn't decide like which was worse.
But anyways, if it weren't for all the cool malls and shoe stores, I'd totally avoid your planet until this whole Bird Flu thingy disappeared or whatever. Unfortunately, Shoe Castle has this huge sale on these cute little Pradas I've like had my eye on forever. Eh-my-God, you guys, they are like so cute. So like, I don't have a choice or anything.
But don't worry, 'cause I have it like all planned out. Because I am so totally informed and educated about the Bird thingy, I'm taking like all these totally safe precautions - like I am totally not sharing my handkerchief with any birds. I mean like, no way. And 'cause I'm like a big-time Senator and junk, I ordered my handmaidens to like surround me and form one of those human shield thingies if they like see a bird about to cough on me or like a Chinese person chewing with their mouth open. Eh-my-God, that is like so gross.
So anyways, Master Yoda will be back to talk to you guys tomorrow. It was fun! Ciao!