Sunday, January 29, 2006

Guest Poster - Anakin Skywalker [Topic: Geezer's Nursemaid]

This is whack, yo! Them Geezers did it to me again! Check it:

So Mace Daddy gets his lower back all jacked up and spit 'cause he be actin the fool in front of his Sweatin to the Oldies video, right? Or maybe it was his Buns of Steel video. Yo, whatever. Dude's old. Dude be dancin' in front of the TV. Dude's spine is jacked 'cause geezer can't dance no way.

Anyway, M-Dawg decide he cain't do nothin for hisself on account of the doctor told him he gotta take it easy and spit. Like he do sumthin around here 'sides get in my grill all the time anyway. He say he need somebody to do stuff for him since he cain't do it his own self. Like one of us is gonna be all waitin' on him and spit.

Well, I shoulda known them geezers would make me do it, yo. Yoda is all like, "Put up with his crap I will not. Going to do this you are."

At first, I was all like, "I'm the Chosen One, yo! I ain't got time to be all nursemaidin' no geezer!" But then I thought maybe this give me the chance to be all brown-nosin' to Master Windu and maybe they make me a Master like they supposed to.

So at first it was goin a'ight. He be sittin' up in bed while I get him his Ho Ho's and the latest issue of that Tiger Beat magazine that he like. But then he be all demandin and stuff. He like, "Anakin scratch my nose."

And I wanted to tell him, "Yo, scratch you own nose, G! You arms ain't broke!" But I decide to do it anyhow, what with me tryin' to brown-nose and spit. But then, he decide he all completely helpless and stuff and he ain't gonna do nothin'. Like he cain't wax his own head 'cause he cain't move his arms up that far. So who you think be waxin, moisturizin, and exfoliatin him the whole time now? That geezer's skin care regimenizzle takes all day, yo! That like a full-time job it own self! But I be doin it for him, yo. And I ain't complainin neither.

You think that enough for the geezer? Shuh. 'Fore I know it, he got me takin his pink fluffy shirt with the ruffles out to be dry-cleaned, doin' the Epilady on his back, organizin' his My Little Pony collection, and all kinda stuff like 'at. And I was like, "A'ight, I can do this. I'm the Chosen One, yo. Ain't nothin' I cain't handle."

But then, like all of a sudden he whip his socks off and he like, "Anakin, massage my corns. They're killing me!"

Yo, I took one look at them moldy feet and said, "Nuh-uh! I ain't goin' no where near that stuff, yo! You feet got all fungus and spit all over 'em. They green in places! They nasty!"

Then he threatened to write me up and spit 'cause I ain't do what a Master tell me to do. Whatever, yo. The Chosen One ain't touchin' no foot fungus. I got my rep to think about. I got outta his room and I ain't been back. Let him get his own Ho Ho's, yo.

Yo, Yoda be back here tomorrow to talk to you and spit. Like that means sumthin.


Comments on "Guest Poster - Anakin Skywalker [Topic: Geezer's Nursemaid]"


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (7:58 AM) : 

It's like a classic sitcom momment. Next Mace should paint the room in half and tell Anakin to stay on his half and he'll stay on his.


Blogger Jango Fett said ... (8:23 AM) : 

Yoda must have great trust in you to post on his blog.

Us Mandalorians are turstful-less


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (9:39 AM) : 

That Ok Sonny Boy, I'm SURE that NandeHi Will Be MORE THAN WILLING to fill in for you .


( while you are in there find out the secret to..........)


Blogger Wedge Antillies said ... (10:30 AM) : 

Yes, Anakin, old people can be very demanding. And I agree, corn rubbing is going to far.


Blogger Jaina Solo said ... (11:23 AM) : 

Ewww!!! Gross! *shivers*


Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One said ... (12:11 PM) : 

You are now a veteran of the ‘Corn Wars”


Blogger Professor Xavier said ... (4:28 PM) : 

Reminds me of the Ali G show. Give that kid a mike and he could be a star. A star, I tell ya!


Blogger Vegeta said ... (8:45 PM) : 

Um great work Mace your turning that kis more more and Evil each day. Glad I don't live in your Galaxy


Blogger Daria Niamni, MD said ... (11:16 PM) : 

Why don't you hire a nurse or a nanny to care of Windu? That would keep up your dignity, Anakin. Don't forget you're the Chosen One!!! *winks*
Hmmmm, although it will be very expensive, even more if you talk her about the feet's fungus... Are the Healers of the Jedi Temple so bad and incompetent that they could not deal with that?

I've sent you a bota-based antifungus cream for Windu's feet problem. And don't care about the price. A mutual friend already paid for it, with only one condition: that you swear don't touch Mace's filthy feet again. He said something about the Dark Side and clean feet, too.

And for Force's sake, wash your hands REALLY well before eat!!!


Blogger NandeHi said ... (12:35 PM) : 

Sure - more than willing.
(to self: sick thing Jaba - gross)
I would be more than willing to do it. At this rate I should have my fathers debt paid of in a matter of weeks!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:23 AM) : 

Anakin Skywalker,
why he is Dath Vader?????????????????????????????????????????


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