I don't usually write no posts on Yoda's blog 'cause, well, mainly he tells me not to come near it. Me and computers don't get along so good. Course, me and writin' don't neither. Or spellin'. Or words in general much. So I guess he don't trust me none. Not like he trusts that Stupid Intern feller he keeps beatin' up all the time. That's a perty smart guy right there. Kinda funny-lookin, though.
Anyhow, I decided to write to youns here cause I think we need to get a couple of things straight. First off, this whole thing about me and Cheetos. Them fellers at the Temple is always makin' jokes about me and Cheetos. And everybody who talks about me in their blogs has got to make some crack about the Cheetos too.
Well yeah, I like Cheetos. I like them a lot. But let me tell youns something - a Cheeto is your friend. That's what I said. You can always count on a Cheeto. A Cheeto won't never let you down. Even if you drop it in between the sofa cushions and don't find it until six months later when you're doin' your yearly mandatory room cleaning - it's still crunchy. And it still tastes good too. And that orange stuff that gets all over your fingers? Well that's the gift that keeps on givin, ain't it?
See now, a Cheeto won't stop listenin' to you and start treatin' you like you're stupid just cause he knows all these fancy Force moves and has to save your life every time you go on a mission together. A Cheeto ain't like that.
A Cheeto won't spray you with no pressure-washer and say stuff like "Being a doofus you are" just cause you like to watch wrestlin 18 hours a day. A Cheeto won't judge you about you wearin wrestlin tights around the house or watchin "Ernest Goes to Camp" (which is the best movie ever made) for the 45th time.
Most of all, a Cheeto won't do stuff like this to you:
See, now that just ain't right. I know you seen this here picture before. But I wanted to show youns it again, because a Cheeto won't never do nothin like that to you. It won't.
Another thing - people think just cause I don't use a bunch a big, fancy words that I don't never think about important stuff. Well, that ain't true neither. I think about important stuff all the time. Just the other day, I was watchin the nature channel, cause Yoda told me our cable company wasn't carryin' the wrestlin' channel no more, but it was and he was lyin'. Anyway, it had this real interestin' show about how this professor lady is teachin this monkey named Koko how to talk in Sign Language:
And all I could think the whole time was, "That poor, deaf monkey." So I started thinkin about all kinds of ways to raise some money to maybe get the monkey a hearing aid or somethin to help her hear better. Then Yoda he explained to me how the monkey ain't really deaf or even hard-of-hearin, or nothin. Course, that was after I already talked to all them fellers at the Temple about how we needed to help this poor deaf monkey. See, a Cheeto won't make fun of you for somethin like that.
Anyhow, that's all I got for now. Yoda'll be back here tomorrow I guess. So see youns later. Have a good one.