Sunday, June 05, 2005

Guest Poster: Padmé Amidala

Padme

This is so cool! Like, I've never even done a blog before, you know? I am so totally jazzed!
'Kay, so here goes.

So like, there have been these totally bogus rumors going around about me and this guy Anakin right? And they are so totally not true. I mean, I'm not even in to him, you know? So I've been totally bummed. I mean people have to be so lame about it. Like this Obi-Wan guy, who's supposed to be a big deal Jedi or something, but he's like, totally gross and smells like beer all the time. Anyways, he's always being a total Rufus, and he's all like, "Annie and Padmé sitting in a tree..." Like, so mature.

So me and my best girlfriend Sabé were in the mall talking about it, right? And, oh my god, you should've seen the shoes she had on! They were these cute little black Pradas with the spike heels and the silver buckles on them. Eh my gawd, they were like, so gorgeous! I could've just died, you know? So what was I saying? Oh, yeah. So like she was all like, "Why aren't you into Anakin? He's a total hottie."

And I'm like, "Yah, but he's a kid, and like, I'm a Senator. Hullo!"

But Sabé's totally jonesing for him. So I start talking about this Obi-Wan guy and how he's being like a total jerk about it, and she's like, "Maybe he's jealous. I heard from my friend's boyfriend, who has a sister who dates this clone trooper, who like talks to that Obi-Wan guy all the time, that he's kinda into you."

I'm like, "Oh, he is so totally not into me!"

And she's like, "Oh, he is so totally crushing on you!"

And I'm like, "No way!"

And she's like, "Way!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh, girlfriend!"

"Get out!"

"You get out!"

"Get out!"

And she's like, "It's totally true. My friend's boyfriend's sister's boyfriend would never lie about something like that. It's like an oath Clone Troopers take or something. He has so got the hots for you."

Well, it doesn't matter, anyway, because he's like so totally gross and he's always got, like Cheetos crumbs in his beard and stuff. And he never, like cleans his ears, so he's got all this grody wax coming out of them. It's like how does he even hear, you know? And his robe looks like he hasn't changed it in, like, a year, and like he probably uses the sleeves to wipe his nose. And like, I don't know if he ever brushes his teeth, but they sure don't look like it. And like don't get me started on his shoes, 'cause like, I'm not even going to go there! I mean, he's like totally gross. Even if I was like, into older guys, which I'm totally not, but if I were, there'd be no way I'd go out with this guy.

So, I gotta like, wrap it up, 'cause Master Yoda said I have to keep it under 600 words, which is like so lame, you know? Like, how can you say anything important in just 600 words? But he'll be back tomorrow anyways, so have fun swimming with the dolphins, Master Yoda!

So, anyways, I gotta blaze now, 'cause Annie, I mean, young Jedi Skywalker, is going to pick me up in a few, but it's like, totally official Republic business. It's not like a date or anything. Because we are totally not going out. So talk to ya later, 'kay?

Kisses,
Padmé

Comments on "Guest Poster: Padmé Amidala"

 

Anonymous Starr said ... (12:55 AM) : 

Hahah. You go, Padme. Let Jedi Skywalker know you aren't like, in a relationship.

 

Anonymous Mara said ... (1:24 AM) : 

pregnant women are so fickle; one moment you barely know the guy, the next you're screaming "you're breaking my heart Anakin!" and wailing. *sigh*

 

Blogger Luke Harbor said ... (1:58 AM) : 

see through your descise i do. seen the movie i have. it is aniken's falt die you do.

 

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said ... (5:52 AM) : 

Oh Padme
Well you came and you gave without takin'
But I sent you away, oh Padme
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shakin'
And I need you today, oh Padme

 

Blogger Nick said ... (6:45 AM) : 

Dolphins? Yoda, Yoda, Yoda, what have you been up to?

 

Anonymous hc_godess said ... (8:56 AM) : 

What does every one have against Obi-Wan? If you guys don't want him, I"ll take him!

 

Blogger Guinastasia said ... (11:16 AM) : 

Hey, back off-I saw him first!

 

Blogger pantrygirl said ... (2:16 PM) : 

Am I the only one that felt extremely old reading that?

Now I can't get the whole, 'Way'/'No way' conversation out of my head.

Great.

 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said ... (3:12 PM) : 

Padme, you sound very groovy!

Graham

 

Anonymous The Jedi Princess said ... (4:13 PM) : 

Padme, I'll take Anakin. He's hott!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:19 PM) : 

Annie and Padmé sitting in a tree... hehe. Well if u don't want Anakin, i'll take him! =)

 

Blogger The Truffle said ... (5:19 PM) : 

Padme, isn't young Skywalker a little, like, young for you? I mean, he's, like, a kid and you're in your twenties. You and him together would be so gross!

 

Blogger trinamick said ... (5:38 PM) : 

I really think you could clean Obi-Wan up if you'd just give him a chance. He'd be much more reliable than Anakin, and he doesn't have that pesky robotic arm.

 

Blogger Guinastasia said ... (7:59 PM) : 

I wonder if the next guest blogger here will speak in 133t.

 

Blogger Kittymama said ... (8:31 PM) : 

Eh, I saw the movie,... which makes this whole blog humorous,... but especially this post.

And I think you all can have Obi Wan and Annie,... I'll wait for Yoda. After all, he's got years and years and years of wisdom and experience! And I really can't resist big ears;)

 

Blogger Ron_F said ... (10:14 PM) : 

Padme,

How come you were so tough and resourceful in the first two movies, and such a spineless whiner in the third? Maybe it was just the preggie hormones talking, but I think you've become a token female. No wonder Luke was such a whiner. "I can't lift the x-wing, I can't finish my training, you're breakin my heart, blah blah blah."

Bantha poodoo.

 

Blogger PresentStorm said ... (10:45 PM) : 

lmao ...Yeah I am thinking also ..I will take Anakin if you will not have him :) he is a hottie .. this post is still crackin me up ...Like ya know

 

Blogger Geewhiz said ... (11:19 PM) : 

If I had five credits for every time I heard 'like,' I could buy myself the Chancellor job.

 

Blogger James Bond said ... (12:52 PM) : 

Padmé:

Since your not into Younger guys How about Sophisticated British spies? I'm available, plus have you ever ridden in a '61 Astor Martin? I'm sure they don't have those in Tattooine. There are places on Earth that would blow your mind. By the way when is the Current republic Session over? Are you elected Senator or Appointed by the Queen?

ORBIS NON SUFFICIT

COMMANDER BOND

 

Anonymous Queen of the Monkeys said ... (2:03 PM) : 

wow...this post took me back to egad years ago. I could actually feel the brain cells dying! Someone save us from stupidity.

 

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