'Kay, so I thought I'd like, you know, share my insight and stuff into this Iraq thingy, because I'm like, this big time Senator and I am so totally knowledgable when it comes to government and junk.
So, first of all, that Iraq place was so totally a bummer before your country like, made it the 51st state or something, I swear. It was like totally gross. Like, all the malls closed at five every day! Yah, as if! And the women had like these really crummy lives, like they didn't even have the right to shop for shoes, or do their nails, or anything! I know, that's like so uncool, right?
And like, everybody makes such a big deal about that Weapons of Mass Destruction thing. They're all like mad and stuff 'cause nobody found Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Well, duh! Weapons of Mass Destruction is like the coolest band ever! I've downloaded, like every one of their songs. They are so awesome. There is like, no way, they'd be even caught dead in a dorky place like that. I know, because my best girlfriend Sabé and I like almost got backstage to meet them once, but this totally obnoxious security guy stopped us. And they wouldn't even see us anyways, 'cause they are way too cool to hang out with us. So there is no way those dweeby old inspector guys were going to get to see them.
And like that Saddam guy was so gross. I mean, what's up with that mustache! Ewww! Somebody told me, like the mustache kinda looked like the one worn by some actor, named Tom Selleck or something, who was on that old TV show, Magnum P.I. But, I'm not like 70 years old, so that was like, way before my time, and anyways, I don't care who's wearing it, that mustache is totally gross.
So, like, that governor guy, George W. What's-His-Name, totally knew what he was doing when he like, overturned the whole government there. Even that creepy lady he like, kisses all the time, Condominium Something-Or-Other, deserves her props, you know? Both of them like totally deserve to get that Ma Bell Peace Prize or whatever. And besides, they're like so cute together, you know?
So, I hope this like, cleared some things up for ya! I know, what I said was like totally deep 'cause I'm a Senator and all, but when you think about it, it gets like easier to understand and stuff.
Anyways, gotta blaze. The mall is open late tonight, 'cause there's like this big sale, so there's like no way I'd miss that. Isn't democracy fun? Totally.
Oh, and Master Yoda will be back tomorrow. Have fun with your ant eating, Master Yoda! (Like, I didn't even know he ate ants! That is like so gross!)